The Long Road Home - Title Ruminations

The Long Road Home

Title names:

Segment 0 - Transition from now to prehistory:

A Story Before Bed
The Storyteller

Segment 1 - Settling with the Adhgye

Settling in the Reeds
The First Diplomats
The Outsiders
A Rest among the Reeds
EHREM NEEDS WOMEN!

Segment 2 - Retelling A Wish for Wings Segment

The Lesson of Patience

Segment 3 - Tribal fighting, push into the mountains

Wartime
The Power of Drums
The Two Lost Tribes
One Last Shout

Segment 4 - In the Mountains

The Decade with No Summer
The Great Dying
The Peace of Summer The Horrors of Winter
A Time in Hell

Segment 5 - At the Plains

The Scattering
Planting Seeds of New Worlds
Home is Where You Make It
Achene
Seed on the Wind

Segment 5a - Nen'a's return

The Long Road Home

Segment 6 -  At the end of the world

At the End of the World
The Mountains at the End of the World
Home
Journey's End
Waiting for the Future

Segment 7 - Transition back to now

Descendants of Forgotten People
Passing into the Future
The Fact of Fiction
Five Million Dawns

The Long Road Home, Segment 0

Markel stared out the windows, looking in awe of the thunderstorm light show flashing and crashing over the steel skyscrapers of his hometown.  He imagined each crash as gigantic gods fighting over good and evil, each blast of thunder a body thrown, each light flash, the spark of metal sword on shield.

"You should be in bed, son," said the boy's father from the door frame.   Markel jumped from his window, his footed pajama covered feet nearly slipping on the linoleum floor in a mad rush to get tucked in by his father.  Ororitz tussled the hair of his little boy as Markel snuggled into his bed sheets for a good night's sleep.  

"Daddy...would you tell me a story before bed?"

"It's getting pretty late for a story." Ororitz said just as lightning flashed white hot, thunder boomed explosively, and the power cut out.  Hearing Markel yelp at the storm's fury, he decided a story would be a good way to calm his son enough to get him back asleep.

"What kind of story would you like to hear?"

"Tell me about how the world started, Dad."

Ororitz cleared his voice, putting on the best narrator voice he could muster.  Had to make this interesting, you know.  "Well, about 4 billion years ago, the Earth formed from a disk of dust, the dust packing together into--"

"No, dad." Marken crossed his arms in overly melodramatic pouting.  "That's not a story, that's science class.  Tell me the STORY about how the world started."

Ororitz smiled, and picked a story he had heard from his own great-grandfather, supposedly passed down for generations.  Maybe it was time he passed the story on.

"Alright then...the story about how the world began...."

In the beginning was the egg. And in the egg was a dove, waiting for its shell to crack and be free to spread its wings.

When it hatched, the egg exploded with such force that the sun was born along with the dove. With the dove was born six men who would tend to the egg the dove would leave behind, Tehr. And when Tehr was created the six men left to tend to it, ploughing its fields, nuturing its soil.

The dove laid another egg, Mes, but with no men to tend to it, Mes became lifeless and dead and is still seen in the sky overhead to this day. The dove flew into the darkness, joining its four sisters, never to be visited by man again.

Eventually, as the men of the dove nurtured Tehr, the egg began to crack. As the dove of Terr moved in it's shell, rivers flowed from the cracks with all the fishes of the sea following. The breath of the dove created the sky, with the plants springing up to savor the air. The dove's talons formed mountains on the shell, from where all the creatures of the earth overran the land.

The men of the dove counted all the fish of the sea, the plants of the land, and the animals of the mountains. And of all the fish, plants and animals, the men found the most clever and cunning to help tend the egg: Man.

The men of the dove took clouds from the sky, adding them to Man to give them thought and reason. They took the light of the sun, which made him pleasing and intelligent. And the men of the dove gave man a piece of themselves, which made his soul. And the soul gave them a name. The Arios.

The men of the dove taught the Arios of the fish in the sea, the plants in the air, and the animals from the mountains. As the Arios thrived, the men of the dove settled in the mountains of the Northwest. Man tended the egg on their own in the delta of the southeast. The Tehr fed man, and Man fed the Tehr.

As the time went on, the Arios forgot about the men of the dove. Among the Arios, a city formed made up of five clans of the Arios: the Ehrem, the Suunon, the Avah, the Tua and the Pera, with the original Arios in the center. The clans created towns of their own, tribes of their own, and clans of their own.

In time, a man came to the Arios, Livis, a man of the dove, King of all Men. But he was just one of the six from the dove, and his teachings spread only to the Arios, who were convinced he was a god. Unable to reach the other tribes quickly, Livis created an army of just the Arios to destroy the men of the dove in the mountains.

And yet the Arios trembled at the thought that they, as men, would go against gods. But when Livis flew into the air, and showed them his powers, he convinced them that as he was as one of the six of the dove, they were but six against thousands of the Arios.

On the night of the march to the northwest, the skies over the mountains trembled in fury, and the smell of rain tinged the air. Livis flew into the air, proclaiming that the men of the dove were preparing for war against them. As then a blue strike of lightning encompassed him, he fell dead breaking his legs.

The lights over the mountain continued for days, and the normally gentle weather became violent. The Arios were first fearful of the lights and rising waters, but as the hours passed, they mustered up their courage and sent runners to the five tribes, once clans of the Arios, to tell the tale and request more troops.

And yet the lightning continued, and the waters rose and became violent. The Arios gave up their plans for war, and began plans for survival, but the waters overwhelmed them and destroyed the town of the Arios utterly, sweeping them into sea.

The men of the dove came down from the mountain, and surveyed the damage. each remaining tribe recieved a man of the dove, who grieved the deaths of the Arios, allowed through the distraction of the Men of the Dove while judging Livis.

As one of them had directly provoked Man attempting to usurp their future for himself, they would no longer allow themselves to control man's future, and sealed this promise with the rainbow after a storm.

The five tribes of the Arios became alone, and with only sparse contact among them, the tribes attempted to rebuild the city of Arios. And while the city began to thrive yet again with the former clans of the Arios, the Pera could not be found. Soon afterwards, three sets of envoys to the Arios City from the Ehrem never returned.

And we, the Tribe of Ehrem, became lost

Neotia ended his story and saw his son, Ayrtos, was fast asleep.  He readjusted the hide blanket over his sleeping forn to keep him warm.  While the old yurt loaned to him by the leader of the Adhgye was adequate for his family and a few others in his envoy, it was drafty, especially with the cool winds coming in off the lake.  he smiled proudly at his son as he tussled Ayrtos' hair.  "Goodnight, son."

The sun had only just set in the West, but there was still much work ahead of him.  He would need all his diplomatic skills to gain permission to have the Ehrem settle at the lake among the Adhgye.  Winter was coming.

The Long Road Home, Segment 6 Fragment

Nen'a's old hunting and tracking instinct were rusty, but the last three weeks had helped to sharpen them back up.  What hadn't sharpened up was her age.  She was the oldest member of the tribe, taken care of over the years, given aid above others when they originally trekked through the mountains.  Walking through the same mountains, on her own, at her age, had been painful.  She could not keep up with game and her traps went empty for days.

Caves weren't hard to find in this part of the mountains, and it was getting dark.  This high up, and at this time of the year, the night air would become dangerously cold.  Nen'a laid down another bundle of firewood, and removed her pack.  Pulling out her fire kit, she began to start her fire, but stopped before it lit.  She looked out of the mouth of the cave as snow began to drift down, thinking about how Emm'a had always loved the snow.  With aching bones, she pushed the firewood a bit deeper in the caves, and sat where the firewood had been, crosslegged, to watch the snow.

She closed her eyes and began to pray.

A prayer to the Makers, from one of the Tribe.  Auros, I pray to the morning light.  Your first light banishes stars, but darkness flees before you.  Hear my plea, and in your wisdom, give me the guidance I need.

I lost my love and my child, too young in my life...in their life.  All those years, the cruelty of the other women, the punishment of these mountains, the loss of the souls I couldn't save.  Deep down inside, I felt each loss.  Something I had done, something I had said, something I had earned.  I've tried to be good, given what I could when I could, been there for others, given of myself when I felt in my own most desperate need.  Auros, I have tried.  Tried so hard to repay whatever punishment put me in this shell, made me the brunt of unwarranted cruelty, took the lives of all those people from my hands. 

I am old, Auros.  I may not make my journey.  I ask, Auros, that when your light touches the sky, when I awake for another's day journey, that you give me the strength to make it to my wife and child again.  I have done my best to pay for whatever I have done to be in this life.  Their bones are so far away.  I ask, at the cost of all the good will I have paid to redeem myself, to see them one more time before my age ends me.

Auros, hear my prayers, from your lost child.

After a long while, Nen'a opened her eyes, and wiping away her tears, started the fire.  She pulled her bedding out from her pack, and climbed in for a sleep.  Another day of hiking lay ahead of her in the morning.

When the first rays of morning broke the night sky, Nen'a awoke to the loving embrace of a long lost family.

The Military Story (001) - Original Idea

Military general, goes into battle wearing enemy uniform jacket.

Years ago General 1 and 2 were friends. When State 1 and State 2 become enemies, but not at war, the two remain friends, but also become rivals. They meet in a bar, and when every one expects violence dur to the political tensions o the two countries, they instead laugh and joke, and decide to prove which country is better by an arm wrestling match. General 1 wins, "proving" State 1 is better. General 2 gives him his uniform jacket as a "spoil of war."

During the war, when the two general's armies are pitted against each other General 1 wears the jacket in honor of General 2. Messengers are sent to each other, usually with joke threats and almost friendly ribbing. The two are still friends, but are still soldiers, though, and fight to win.

Eventually the battle goes badly for General 1 and he goes on the field to fight General 2. The two greet each other and friends, but still soldiers. And they fight hand to hand. General 1 is killed, but as he dies, he forgives General 2. "I gave you everything I had. You gave me everything you had. You were the better man."

The Military Story (002) - "Dana" Character Development Notes.

Dana's character was original concieved after seeing an image of a person, in a costume, laughing and joking with a photographer over lunch. My brain, on first sight, asked "Why is this enemy of humanity joking with a human?" And that's when Dana was born:

"Soldier defects to enemy camp, despite physical evidence that she was in their enemy's army."

"Drafted soldier defects to enemy camp."

"Drafted soldier is programmed to fight an enemy, and programming fails, causing her to defect to enemy camp."

"Drafted soldier is captured, impressed into service with the enemy army."

"Soldier is captured, made to serve in the enemy army. Must learn to live with and coexist with people who hate her and culture that is alien to her."

"Think Roman Legionnaire trapped in China."

"Soldier is captured, tortured, and then given a choice of protecting a frontier town due to lack of local manpower or being executed. Takes it, thinking escape would be easy. Ends up serving in town where the folks hate her, and has physical markings that make her enemy status very visible, but after a few fight where she protects them, they begin to tolerate her."

"'Tarheel Thayla.' She thinks Tarheel is a military rank, but it actually means 'traitor.'"

"My name is Dana. My rank is Tarheel."

"Possibly poisoned? To keep her loyal?"

"Eventually sees The Enemy as People, finally able to seperate people from political ideology, although that slants her relationship with the people."

"Explore relationships: Friends, and the lost friendships of those friends who like the Traitor. Escape attempt that is foiled by her wanting to protect people?"

"Negotiates her future over a plate of milk and cookies, make that the theme and symbol of her forced service (m&c antidote?). Has a minder, big bulk of a man named 'Thayla.' Thayla cannot discern the difference between loyalty to govt and loyalty to people running the govt."

The Military Story (003) - Outline 1104.021020

* Two Generals Story (Establishes seperation of ideology and "humanity."):
--Dana is a Lieutenant in General #1's army.
--They're about to go into battle against General #2s army. During a pep talk a fresh out-of-the-draft rookie asks why General #1 is wearing an army uniform from State #2's army. She explains they were both friends at one time, had a friendly rivalry, and believes they still do. General #1 wears the uniform in battles as a mark of respect for General #2.
--Battle goes badly, and most of Dana's platoon is captured by the enemy. General #1 and #2 face each other on the battlefield, and after exchanging some stilted "wish we hadn't finally met this way" banter, fight hand to hand, giving it their all. As Dana and her platoon are carted away she sees General #2 kill General #1, then remove his own hat in respect for a dead friend.

* Prison/Negotiation (Establishes situation):
--Dana is processed into the prison, State #2's version of Guantanamo Bay, and essentially tortured for information over the course of a few months. She reveals nothing, or fabrications.
--One day, the torture stops for a week, where she's kept in near solitary confinement. After a week, she is taken to a shower, cleaned up, given a fresh uniform from State #1, with full proper rank. She believes she is being released, but instead is taken directly to State #1's Head of State (to be referred to as HOS from here on out).
--Dana attempts to attack the HOS, but is held back by Thayla, a gigantic burley jarhead kind of man. He simply holds her back, but does not attack or harm her (other than the bruise of nearly crushing her upper arm to keep her from attacking the HOS). HOS just wants to discuss a "matter of some importance."
--HOS sets down a plate of cookies before her. "We have operatives in your army. It seems that you requisitioned these sandwich cookies for your platoon, but never distrubuted them. I'm assuming you kept these for yourself." She eyes them suspiciously, and refuses to take them. "You'd think after a month of prison rations, you'd want these. Maybe you think they're dangerous? Thayla?" Thayla picks up a sandwich cookie, and twists it into two halves. He presents it to Dana. "Take one." She does, and does not eat it. He takes the other and eats it, proving that, at least, that cookie will not kill her. She eats the other one. Thayla continues to twist them in half, eating one, and waiting for Dana to eat the other before doing it again. Throughout the conversation, the plate is finished off between the two of them.
--HOS makes his case: The war in the East is going well, but taking up much of their manpower. They need every able person they can fighting on the eastern front to ensure victory. This has, however, led to the Western Frontier being open. The town of Gafana has recently found large deposits of some [valuable somethings] that a third state on their Western Frontier wants. They've been making noises that they want to invade State #2 for said things.
--With the war going well, but needing manpower, he cannot afford to send people to Gafana. But he can send her. "Patriots are not expendable, you are." He is willing to give her the equivalent rank and privilidge in his army, the promise that she will not be sent to fight against her compatriots on the Eastern Front, to command a platoon of her handpicked officers from her country's POWs, and HOS's handpicked officers (who he cna then order not to kill her, and reasonably expect the order to be obeyed) and maybe, just possibly, once the war is won, she will be sent back. Possibly. It could happen. Don't hold your breath.
--If you decide not to go to the Western Front, Thayla will, right here and now, shoot you in the stomach and leave you to slowly die of sepsis. You know too much about our situation on the West to keep you alive. If you do decide to follow through, I need an assurance of your willingness to follow through with this plan. You and your compatriots will be poisoned with apoison that stays in your system. However, you will be given an antidote every week that keeps you alive. Your POW compatriots in your platoon will also be poisoned and given an antidote to ensure their loyalty. And to ensure delivery of the antidote, my handpicked soldiers will also be poisoned. Their antidote is your antidote.
--She agrees to the offer, not out of a sense of self preservation, but because you can't escape from the enemy dying on the floor of sepsis. And with a half platoon of her men, she just might do it.
--He then offers her and Thayla a glass of milk "for their cookies." Thayla drinks his down. Dana does not. HOS: "There's no better night cap than cookies and warm milk." She again does not drink. "I'd drink up. It contains your first dose of antidote." She then realizes that the cookies WERE actually poisoned.
--On the way back to her cell, escorted by Thayla, she asks "were you just poisoned, too?" He nods "I will be your attaché in the West. My antidote is your antidote." "Were you poisoned because your loyalty is in question?" "I was poisoned because it was ordered of me."

*Gafana Situations - Situations in need of an over arching story
--Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. State #2 is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.
--Dana has physical indelible markings as part of her military rank or culture (rank ID tatoos, perhaps, or cultural hair styles?). She wears a State #2 military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up. All rank insignia are from State #1's army, though, and are in pristine condition.
--Inevitable first escape attempt, fails when antidote (which is given every night as milk and cookies) is not given and she collapses a few miles out of town. Thayla finds her and returns her to town.
--Towns people hate Dana as she is "The Enemy." Non-State#1 troops call her "Tarheel." She assumes it's a military rank, but in fact, it means "Traitor."
--She begins protecting the town from skirmishes with State #3. They're more raids than skirmishes, and do not tax her troops much.
--State #2 troop attempts to steal Dana's antidote and destroys it. Thayla takes that troops antidote, giving it to Dana, leaving troop to die within hours.
--She begins to familiarize herself with the town. Taken aback, but curious, about the culture of the area, much different than hers. Imagine Ancient Roman Soldier depositied in Ancient China. People hate her, but are tolerating her as she's protected the town.
--Several years in, she's become, if not friendly by the natives, shakily respected by the natives. They all call her Tarheel, though, which she still thinks is a military rank.
--She attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended.
--She has made a few friends among the populace, usually merchants who have seen her often, and have treated her well for her money, and, eventually, gotten to know her. They have suffered a bit for it, losing clientele when she comes in (though less and less as time goes by). Friends she has made, however, often lose other friends. Even her friends call her "Tarheel."

*Possible Ending (?)
--War ends, and Dana and what's left of her troops are repatriated. Antidote formula is Given to winning state. Dana must continue to take it, as the poison does not leave her body.
--Military tribunal gives her a discharge choice:dishonorable discharge (she did work for the enemy) or resign without comment (she worked with them so she and her teammates could survive).
--State 1 assigns consulates and and ambassadors to State 2. Due to her extensive work with the area, and actually, a personal request, she goes back to Gafanna as consulate and spends the rest of her days there.

The Military Story (004) - Additions 1104.071604

*Two General Prequel (Before Two General Story).
--Scene starts in a "Terra Nullius" cross-border-bar on the State 1/State 2 border five years in the past. The mood is generally jovial, but there is tension in the air: people reading about worsening relations between State 1 and State 2, the occasional raised voice when talking about it (usually cut off by a glance from one of the bouncers).
--At one of the tables is a Colonel from the State 2 army, holding an arm wrestling match in one hand, and drinking alcohol with the other hand. He seems to be playing with his opponent, laughing and pretending to lose, until he decides to put his opponent out of his misery and slams his arm on the table.
--Another Colonel, this one from State 2, enters the bar. It gets deathly quiet, and State 1 Colonel puts down his drink to look him over. The bouncers tense up. Colonel 1: "I hear a State-1-er Colonel's been makin' trouble for some of my kin. I hear he thinks he's a big shot." State 1 Colonel threateningly and a bit theatrically walks over to the table. "I hear he's been makin' a lot of trouble." State 2 Colonel just looks at him: "Ain't my problem if you State-2-ers just can't make anyone stronger'n me." State 1 Colonel: "I've been itchin' to start a fight with one of you [derogatory term for State 2 people]." State 2 Colonel puts out his arm, begging for an arm wrestling match. "If it's a war you want, it's a war you've got."
--The two arm wrestle, and this time they're giving it their all. It's much more intense than when the State 2 Colonel was playing with the last guy. In the end, State 2 Colonel looses. He immediately gets up, swiping his chair aside, insulted. State 1 Colonel does the same. They stare each other down. The bar is dead silent, people are looking for exits. State Colonel 2 removes his jacket, as if he's getting ready for fisticuffs...but instead hands it to State Colonel 1: "Spoils of war."
--The two immediately break into smiles and get into a great big bear hug, the whole thing was just a show and it seems, despite the realistic tensions, the two are old and very good friends. They take a seat at a booth, and go over old times, where we learn the two grew up near the border cities, and were friends, divided by the quickly escalating conflict.
--At the end of the conversation, the State 1 Colonel begins to hand the jacket back to State 2 Colonel, who stops him: "That's yours. You were the better man this time. Just give me a chance to win it back one day." This immediately darkens the mood between them. The next fight may be on the battlefield. State 1 Colonel: "I hope that day never comes. But if it does..." State 2 Colonel: "...then I hope you give me everything you've got, because I will." State 1 Colonel: "And so will I." They give each other a big bear hug again, and go their seperate ways.

[Two General Story Begins Here]

-=-

*Gafana Situations:
---Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the State 2 Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!" The war is not going as well for State 2, and with Thayla's reports backing up without as much feedback as the war effort gets more intense, she takes a chance:
--She attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended.

*Possible Ending (?)
--State 1 assigns consulates and and ambassadors to State 2. Due to her extensive work with the area, and actually, a personal request, she goes back to Gafanna as consulate and spends the rest of her days there.
---No mention should be made of whether or not the poison has been taken out of her system. Near the end, she should finally sit down after a long day of political celebrations befitting a new ambassador, and maybe pull aside her blouse, or slightly yank down her skirt, to find a pump attatched with an IV in her skin, replacing an antidote cartridge into it.

-=-
*Dana character development note additions:
--Dana's thread is that she should begin as a soldier who sees the enemy as the enemy, and that's it. But on seeing General 2 showing respect for the dying General 1, the idea of a "political ideology does not trump humanity" gets planted in her brain. That idea is buried after her torture at the hands of State 2, but slowly comes to the forefront during her time in Gafana.

*Thayla character development note additions:
--Thayla's thread is someone who has blind obedience to a country, and makes no differentation between the country and the people running it. He loves State 2, and anything the leaders of State 2 ask, he does. He blindly follows orders, to the point that he's poisoned himself because he was ordered to. But it's his time in Gafana with Dana, who was someone who should be serving her country blindly, and dying rather than serving on an enemy's border, that makes him realize that there is a difference between political ideology and people. Eventually he realizes that the people who put him out here, poisoned him, were, perhaps, damaging his country, instead of serving it. He should start aiming to change his country, bring back its honor, perhaps by becoming a politician by the end of the story.

The Military Story (005) - Scene Additions 1104.081549

*Gafana Situations - Situations in need of an over arching story
--Dana has physical indelible markings as part of her military rank or culture (rank ID tatoos, perhaps, or cultural hair styles?). She wears a State #2 military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up. All rank insignia are from State #1's army, though, and are in pristine condition.
---Thayla walks through the officer barracks and notices Dana's light is on. Without knocking, he walks into her room, seeing her at a mirror by her bed. Much of her hair is in small tight braids, but not completely. She's threading the braids by hand. She turns to Thayla. Dana: "It's customary to knock before entering." Thayla: "A soldier in our army has no expectation of privacy, no matter his rank." Dana asks if he had anything to report, and it's an "all is well" kind of report. Dana (who officially outranks him) dismisses him. He hesitates (he is her minder and attaché and can, if he believes necessary, overrule her). Dana asks him while still braiding "What's on your mind, Thayla?"
--Thayla "Why are you braiding your hair like that? It's not regulation." Dana: "It is in my army. And considering we're on the opposite side of the country from the bulk of the military, I don't think anyone will mind." Thayla: "It must take some time to braid those. Time better spent." Dana: "It's a bit of a fad back home. We have small little tools that make the braiding faster." Thayla: "That doesn't explain the why." Dana: "The answer to that is: Because I want to. Because I miss home, and this is how I can remember it."
--Thayla segues into his next though: "You miss your home, yet you serve here. I would not have served with you. I would have died rather than serve in your army, betraying my homeland." Dana (not taking the bait): "I took this assignment because there were more choices I could take by serving here, than dying on the floor of the HOS's office from a gunshot to the stomach." She looks Thayla over: "I may be a dog on a leash right now, but it's a very thin long leash. I can still mostly choose the direction I want to go in. And that leash could break at anytime. You, however, wear short chains. Your lead is directed totally by your master, and that chain will probably never break."

--Several years in, she's become, if not friendly by the natives, shakily respected by the natives. They all call her Tarheel, though, which she still thinks is a military rank.
---One day, Dana walks into her room and finds a beat up package on her bed. It's obviously been smuggled into the country, and it shows in how beat up the packaging is, and the signs of wear and tear. It's a hair braider from her country. Thayla calls from the door: "A dog on a chain may choose his own direction, if he drags the master with him."

The Military Story (006) - Story Conference 1104.09

First attempt at reconciling story with the Ashfeather's "Entropy States" world after story conference with Pazi:

- State 1 are now the "Reincorporated States" aka (RINCS). An evolution of modern day society if the 70s energy crisis was never resolved and got worse. Consider State 2 to be radical terrorists who are now genetic freaks to destroy the ecology they depend on. State 3 is considered inhuman, and is worried about their unwillingness to recognize boundaries. Technology tends to be flashy and showy. Guns look like guns, hiptop computers have large screens with flip out or slide out controls, and communicators look like phones, held like Star Trek communicators. Very obvious and showy-off.

- State 2 is now the "Zakiri." Not so much a nation as a collection of far flug city states in a loose allegiance, but still headed by a central government. Genetically engineered to fit the environment they're in. Consider RINCS to be a relic of the old times, authoritarian empire builders. Consider State 3 dangerous due to unwillingness to recognize boundaries, or life other than State 3. Technology tends to be protected and minimal. Guns look like wands/batons. Hiptops are clamshell designed with touchscreens and minimal physical controls. Communicators are small clip on boxes that work much like the Next Generation commbadges, but are clippable anywhere. The clamshell design is a repeated cultural meme. Most everything is clamshell designed (within reason) for protection.

-- State 2's Head of State is now simply the leader of his Zakiri city, and Defense Directorate for his region. Ruthless, gets results, but understands this is not how it should be. Humanize the character, tone down overt Nixonian traits. "I'm sorry, but these are your choices, and they're GOOD CHOICES." He can be compassionate, but only when it's affordable and in his nation's interests. Drop the "Milk and Cookies" angle, as it was meant to be somewhat demeaning to Dana.

- State 3 is a culture that treats any non-specific territory for claiming resources as needed. More of a very loosely knit culture than a nation. Considered RINCS/Zakiri culture radically different enough that finding common ground isn't possible, and frankly, they don't care: "We can't talk or negotiate with them. Why bother. Take what we need."

- With the dialing down of the Defense Directorate's Nixonian attitudes, Dana's aggressiveness at first may need to be dialed up to provide adequate tension. Her ending will also change from one of "resignation to her fate as a percieved traitor" (nice, but kinda dull) to "maybe the Defense Directorate's promises of release will work out." She turns from someone mindlessly doing a job, to someone trying to excel to get home.

- Thayla will need extensive reworking. Originally designed as a blind-order-following Soviet jarhead that softens up to change the course of his country - no longer works. Perhaps Thayla is now on his first major assignemnt, going by the books, who has an institutionalized mistrust of Dana (being in RINCS, after all), that slowly softens his view? May make a more realistic politician as he learns to relate to her, he learns to relate to the RINCS.

The Military Story (007) - Outline 1104.091743

Updated to try and fit into the Ashfeather's "Entropy States" word.  New additions are in bold.

 *Two General Prequel (Before Two General Story).
--Scene starts in a "Terra Nullius" cross-border-bar on the RINCS/Zakiri border five years in the past. The mood is generally jovial, but there is tension in the air: people reading about worsening relations between the RINCS and Zakiri, the occasional raised voice when talking about it (usually cut off by a glance from one of the bouncers).
--At one of the tables is a Colonel from the RINCS army, holding an arm wrestling match in one hand, and drinking alcohol with the other hand. He seems to be playing with his opponent, laughing and pretending to lose, until he decides to put his opponent out of his misery and slams his arm on the table.
--Another Colonel, this one from the Zakiri, enters the bar. It gets deathly quiet, and the Rincs Colonel puts down his drink to look him over. The bouncers tense up. Zakiri Colonel: "I hear a Rinker's been makin' trouble for some of my kin. I hear he thinks he's a Colonel." The RINC Colonel threateningly and a bit theatrically walks over to the table. "Pickin' on some out of towners." The RINC Colonel just looks at him: "Ain't my problem if you Zakis just can't make anyone stronger'n me." Zakiri Colonel: "I've been itchin' to start a fight with one of you Rinkers for a while now." RINC Colonel puts out his arm, begging for an arm wrestling match. "If it's a war you want, it's a war you've got."
--The two arm wrestle, and this time they're giving it their all. It's much more intense than when the Zakiri Colonel was playing with the last guy. In the end, the Zakiri Colonel loses. He immediately gets up, swiping his chair aside, insulted. The RINC Colonel does the same. They stare each other down. The bar is dead silent, people are looking for exits. The Zakiri colonel removes his jacket, as if he's getting ready for fisticuffs...but instead hands it to the RINC colonel: "Spoils of war."
--The two immediately break into smiles and get into a great big bear hug, the whole thing was just a show and it seems, despite the realistic tensions, the two are old and very good friends.
--They take a seat at a booth, and go over old times, where we learn the two grew up near the border cities, and were friends, divided by the quickly escalating conflict. We learn that there's been a slow cold war brewing for years now starting to boil over. Politicians brought up with haring about trumped up Zakiri bogeymen doing genetic engineering years ago, are now making policy based on those trumped up beliefs. Scared of the unknown, and unable to undermine the process, things are heating up into a war over ideology. The worst kind of war. The Zakiri talk about how their side is seeing the policies of the RINC as an excuse for empire building. They're wasteful with their resources, and these new policies and war rumblings conveniently happen at the same time the Zakiri recently discovered some [important somethings]. The tensions between the two begin to get heated before they both stop. "This is an argument for the politicans to debate about, not us. Let's have a drink."
--Both colonels stumble out of the bar. The RINC Colonel begins to hand the jacket back to the Zakiri Colonel, who drunkenly stops him: "That's yours. You were the better man this time. Just give me a chance to win it back one day." This immediately sobers the mood between them. The next fight may be on the battlefield. RINC Colonel: "I hope that day never comes. But if it does..." Zakiri Colonel: "...then I hope you give me everything you've got, because I will." RINC Colonel: "And so will I." They give each other a big bear hug again, and go their seperate ways.

* Two Generals Story (Establishes seperation of ideology and "humanity."):
--Dana is a Lieutenant in the RINC Colonel's (now General's), army, in charge of a small platoon of men. She is obviously being groomed to rise in the ranks, and he's taken a special interest in bringing her up. She looks up to him not just as commanding officer but mentor.She asks why the RINC General is wearing an army uniform from the Zakiri's army. He explains they were both friends at one time, had a friendly rivalry, and believes they still do. RINC General wears the uniform in battles as a mark of respect for Zakiri General. He tries to explain that the ideologies are different, but the people are still people, enemies or not. She grasps, but doesn't understand. The enemy is the enemy. And won't the RINC army mind? "We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I think we'll be okay."
--They go into battle, but it goes badly, and most of Dana's platoon is captured by the enemy.
--The Zakiri and RINC generals face each other on the battlefield, and after exchanging some stilted "wish we hadn't finally met this way" banter, fight hand to hand, giving it their all. As Dana and her platoon are carted away she sees the Zakiri kill the RINC General, then remove his own hat in respect for a dead friend.

* Prison/Negotiation (Establishes situation):
--Dana is processed into the prison, State #2's version of Guantanamo Bay, and essentially worked over and worn down for information over the course of a few months. She reveals nothing, or fabrications.
--One day, she's put in near solitary confinement. After a week, she is taken to a shower, cleaned up, given a fresh uniform from the RINC army, with full proper rank. She believes she is being released, but instead is taken directly to the Zakiri Defense Directorate for this region.
--Dana attempts to attack the Directorate, but is held back by Thayla, a gigantic burley jarhead kind of man. He simply holds her back, but does not attack or harm her (other than the bruise of nearly crushing her upper arm to keep her from attacking the Directorate). The Directorate just wants to discuss a "matter of some importance."
--The directorate sets down a plate of food before her. She eyes them suspiciously, and refuses to take it. "You'd think after a month of prison rations, you'd want these. Maybe you think they're dangerous? Thayla?" Thayla picks up a slice of bread, and tears it into two. He presents the halves to Dana. "Take one." She does, and does not eat it. He takes the other and eats it, proving that, at least, that the bread will not kill her. She eats the other one. Thayla continues to tear them in half, eating one, and waiting for Dana to eat the other before doing it again. Throughout the conversation, the dinner is finished off between the two in this fashion.
--The Directorate makes his case: The war in the East is going well, but taking up much of their manpower. They need every able person they can fighting on the eastern front to ensure victory. This has, however, led to the Western Frontier being open. The town of Gafana has recently found large deposits of some [valuable somethings] that a third state on their Western Frontier wants. And they're known to simply take what they want, regardless of who actually owns it.
--With the war going well, but needing manpower, he cannot afford to send people to Gafana. But he can send her. "Patriots are not expendable, you are." He is willing to give her the equivalent rank and privilidge in his army, the promise that she will not be sent to fight against her compatriots on the Eastern Front, to command a platoon of her handpicked officers from her country's POWs, and the Directorate's handpicked officers (who he can then order not to kill her, and reasonably expect the order to be obeyed) and maybe, just possibly, once the war is won, she will be sent back.
--"If you decide not to go to the Western Front, you will be executed this evening. The camp is being shut down in the next few week, and we're determining which assets to take with us, which to release, and which to...discard. If we move you, you sit in a detention cell until the end of the war. If we release you, you will lead a platoon right back here. And you know too much about our situation on the West to keep you alive."
--"But...if you decide to go through with this, you will not only have some limited freedom, so will your compatriots. And, should you bring down the camp population enough, we will see about keeping or releasing some of the 'assets' we planned to discard. Taking on this assignment, you would be responsible for the survival and possible repatriation of your people."
--"However I need an assurance of your willingness to follow through with this plan. You and your compatriots will be poisoned with apoison that stays in your system. However, you will be given an antidote every week that keeps you alive. Your POW compatriots in your platoon will also be poisoned and given an antidote to ensure their loyalty. And to ensure delivery of the antidote, my handpicked soldiers will also be poisoned. Their antidote is your antidote.
--She agrees to the offer, not out of a sense of self preservation, but because her compatriots can't be released or saved if she is dead.
--He then offers her and Thayla a glass of wine "to celebrate." Thayla drinks his down. Dana does not. The directorate insists. "There's no better way to celebrate an agreement with a glass of wine." She again does not drink. "I'd drink up. It contains your first dose of antidote." She then realizes that the dinner WAS actually poisoned. "Had you decided not to agree, we simply would not have given you your wine."
--On the way back to her cell, escorted by Thayla, she asks "were you just poisoned, too?" He nods "I will be your attaché in the West. My antidote is your antidote." "Were you poisoned because your loyalty is in question?" "I was poisoned because it was ordered of me."

*Gafana Situations - Situations in need of an over arching story
--Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. Zakiri territory is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.
--Dana has physical indelible markings as part of her military rank or culture (rank ID tatoos, perhaps). She wears a Zakiri military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up. All rank insignia are from RINC's army, though, and are in pristine condition.
--Thayla walks through the officer barracks and notices Dana's light is on. Without knocking, he walks into her room, seeing her at a mirror by her bed. Much of her hair is in small tight braids, but not completely. She's threading the braids by hand. She turns to Thayla. Dana: "It's customary to knock before entering." Thayla: "A soldier in our army has no expectation of privacy, no matter his rank." Dana asks if he had anything to report, and it's an "all is well" kind of report. Dana (who officially outranks him) dismisses him. He hesitates (he is her minder and attaché and can, if he believes necessary, overrule her). Dana asks him while still braiding "What's on your mind, Thayla?"
--Thayla "Why are you braiding your hair like that? It's not regulation." Dana: "It is in my army. And we're a hundred miles from nowhere. I think we'll be okay." Thayla: "It must take some time to braid those. Time better spent." Dana: "It's a bit of a fad back home. We have small little tools that make the braiding faster." Thayla: "That doesn't explain the why." Dana: "The answer to that is: Because I want to. Because I miss home, and this is how I can remember it."
--Thayla segues into his next though: "You miss your home, yet you serve here. I would not have served with you. I would have died rather than serve in your army, betraying my homeland." Dana (not taking the bait): "I took this assignment because there were more choices I could take by serving here" She looks Thayla over: "I may be a dog on a leash right now, but it's a very thin long leash. I can still mostly choose the direction I want to go in. And that leash could break at anytime. You, however, wear short chains. Your lead is directed totally by your master, and that chain will probably never break."
--Inevitable first escape attempt, fails when antidote is not administered given and she collapses a few miles out of town. Thayla finds her and returns her to town.
--Towns people hate Dana as she is "The Enemy." Zakiri troops call her "Tarhee." She assumes it's a military rank, but in fact, it means "Traitor."
--She begins protecting the town from skirmishes with State #3. They're more raids than skirmishes, and do not tax her troops much.
--A Zakiri troop attempts to steal Dana's antidote and destroys it. Thayla takes that troops antidote, giving it to Dana, leaving troop to die within hours. She's reminded of the RINC General's word - we're people, no matter our ideology.
--She begins to familiarize herself with the town. Taken aback, but curious, about the culture of the area, much different than hers. Imagine Ancient Roman Soldier depositied in Ancient China. People hate her, but are tolerating her as she's protected the town.
--Several years in, she's become, if not friendly by the natives, shakily respected by the natives. They all call her Tarhee, though, which she still thinks is a military rank.
---Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the Zakiri Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!" The war is not going as well for the Zakiri, and with Thayla's reports backing up without as much feedback as the war effort gets more intense, she takes a chance:
--She attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended.
--She has made a few friends among the populace, usually merchants who have seen her often, and have treated her well for her and her platoon's money, and, eventually, gotten to know her. They have suffered a bit for it, losing clientele when she comes in (though less and less as time goes by). Friends she has made, however, often lose other friends. Even her friends call her "Tarhee."

*Possible Ending (Who would wins in the Entropy World? Anyone?)
--War ends with, and Dana and what's left of her troops are repatriated. Antidote formula is Given to RINC. Dana must continue to take it, as the poison does not leave her body.
--Military tribunal gives her a discharge choice:dishonorable discharge (she did work for the enemy) or resign without comment (she worked with them so she and her teammates could survive).
--RINC assigns consulates and and ambassadors to Zakiri. Due to her extensive work with the area, and actually, a personal request, she goes back to Gafanna as consulate and spends the rest of her days there.
---No mention should be made of whether or not the poison has been taken out of her system. Near the end, she should finally sit down after a long day of political celebrations befitting a new ambassador, and maybe pull aside her blouse, or slightly yank down her skirt, to find a pump attatched with an IV in her skin, replacing an antidote cartridge into it.

The Military Story (008) - "Take a Soldier to Town."

First sketch of Dana, waiting at a "Take a Soldier to Town" post alone.

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The Military Story (009) - Titles and New Scenes as of 1104.12175

Possible Titles:

"Voices of Authority"
"Chain of Command"

-=New Scenes=-

+Gafana Situations - Situations in need of an over arching story
--Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. Zakiri territory is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.
++Dana at first does not go off camp, spending as much time in her office coordinating the move (which is just an excuse), once that's done she begins working on drilling regimes, trying to integrate the two sides of her platoons into one (again, just an excuse). Eventually, the first raid occurs, and she dispatches her troops. They're excellent at their job (when they're mostly seperated, merging together, the styles clash a bit), but repulsing the raid is a bit of a disaster. She successfuly repulsed them, but was unfamiliar with the area. Only the maps. She begins to explore the city, to familiarize herself with it.
++One of the Zakiri soldiers has befriended one of the RINC soldiers. The Zakiri is familiar with the area, and knows a good restaurant they should go to. The two go out, and come back. The RINC soldier mentions that the restaurant seemed okay, and had good food. Dana, tired of rations, goes alone. However her rank markings are more obvious, her hair is in a set of RINC-style braids, and she does not have a jovial Zakiri with her to cut the tension. The restaurant serves her, the food is good and well made (no one's done anything vile to it because of her), but the patrons are cold and some leave. Zakiri eat with chopsticks, not forks, and she has issues trying to use them, making her predicament a bit more obvious. The restaurant will eventually become a place for many of the RINCs to go to. The owner is willing to pick up the RINC/Zakiri soldier's money, which more than makes up for the loss of some of the more intolerant Zakiris who leave. The owner even manages to smuggle in forks for the RINCs to use. Eventually, about early mid story, the restaurant will be firebombed, but rebuilt with the platoon's help.

The Military Story (010) - Climax outline 1104.131150

-=Possible Climax=-
+ The RINC army is slowly closing in on Gafanna, and news gets back to Gafanna. Many of the RINC POWs are happy to hear this, but the Zakiri soldiers are not as they think they'll be made into POWs. At the same time, State 3 is encroaching on the city with a large force. While the platoon and citizen's bridage are large enough to repulse one force, they cannot do both forces, should the RINCs try to take the city.
+ The State 3 force is one day away. Dana sends scouts to check out their numbers, and, as predicted, it's the largest sent, but with the help of the citizen brigades and Dana's forces, they could hold them off. But in her logic, she realizes that even if they defeat the forces, they would come back with a larger force they couldn't handle. She would need something to scare them off permanently.
+ She walks the hallways of the barracks, listening to the laughs and jibes of the soldiers, both Zakiri and RINC, finally meshed together as a fighting whole. And then she finds a soldier alone. He's writing a letter to his family back in the RINC. She stops and talks with him a while, and relizes he has written a letter every day of his time in Gafana, but not mailed it (he doesn't know if it will ever get there). This gives her an idea.
+ She rummages through the barracks, and finds a RINC uniform from a previously captured soldier which fits the man. She dusts it off, cleans it up, but puts Zakiri rank markers and insignia on it. She quickly writes a note to the head of the RINC army headed her way. she then tells the messenger to rewrite it, as he's more of a wordsmith than she is (the diary is huge, the letters could make up their own book). Once done, she rewrites it again, adds a few code phrases and signals. She hands the letter to the soldier and tells him to meet the RINC army head on. When he gets there, ask for "Messenger's Privilidge." This is a law that would allow him to deliver Dana's message to the head of the RINC legion coming to Gafanna, and be released without fear of capture. She also suggests he takes his letters to be posted.
+ The mood is tense in the barracks, the Zakiri are not looking forward to the RINC army coming and they are prepared (and very willling) to fight. The RINC POWs, including Dana are worried that, even though they were told they would never have to fight their own brothers. Some of the Zakiri and RINCs push hard to flee Gafana and regroup elsewhere when they decide what to do about the double onslaught.
+ The messenger returns with a note and a package. She opens the package, and inside are uniforms and insignia for the RINC army. She looks at the note, and neither smiles, nor frowns, but shows grim determination, and perhaps a bit of dissapointment.
+ She addresses the troops. They are not a Zakiri Platoon. They are not a RINC platoon. They are a Gafana Platoon, and they are there to protect the city. She convinces the Zakiri soldiers to stay - she needs them to defend the city and she will do everything I can to keep you free. She convinces the RINC soldiers to stay - we will not fight the RINCs unless absolutely necessary, and only in defense of the city from desctruction. Theyre are very few desertions before the impending fight.
+ The State 3 assault comes. The Gafana Army shows up, many are wearing RINC jackets over their Zakiri uniforms, and vice versa. Dana is wearing her Zakiri uniform, with RINC insignia, pristine and military regulation for the first time in the whole story.
+ Casualties are massive on both sides, but in the end the State 3 army backs off...but doesn't retreat. Instead, another small force comes in, relief for the first force. Dana had no idea this was coming, but she's not worried. As over the hill come the RINC forces. And they are massive. The Zakiri bid a hasty retreat back to their territory without a second shot fired: They're overwhelmed, and know better than to fight a losing battle.
+ The army marches onto the city. The Gafana military also waits at the border. Dana and Thayla walk out, exposed, towards the army, and stops halfway. The approaching RINC forces pause. She shouts "I am Tarhee Dana Medina, of the free city of Gafana." Thayla wearing a RINC uniform with Zakiri markings continues:"We welcome _peaceful_ visitors to our city, with open arms. Make no trouble here, and you shall have no trouble." The RINC soldiers just pause, look at each other and try to figure out what the hell just happened.
+ Dana had banked on this, hoping the RINC army would provide the scar tactics to help keep the State 3 army away, just by showing up. Had the RINCs attacked the city, or killed her/Thayla during her declaration...she had no idea what she was gonna do.
+ The RINC army has camped just out of town. Dana enters the Captain's tent, the one who head's the RINC Army that marched on Gafana. She's in a Zakiri uniform with RINC markings. He calls her Lieutenant recognizing her rank, but admonishes her for wearing a Zakiri uniform. He expects a salute, but she gives none, standing-at-ease. She's respecting him as a fellow military person, but not as a commanding officer.
+ He tells her he recieved her message, and was not suprised to see her impressed into servince in Gafana. This is the third border city they had come across with impressed RINC commanders. But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.
+ He had sent along the unifroms so the RINC POWs would be back into uniform ready to report to him for debriefing. Instead only a few did and reupped with his army. "They take commands from me, sir." "And you take command from ME." "With all due respect, sir, I have not taken orders from either the RINC or Zakiri chain of command for some time. We are the free city of Gafana. We are not just RINC or Zakiri, we are BOTH RINC and Zakiri."
+ The Captain is dissapointed. "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances. I'd hate to see you get a dishonorable discharge for desertion." "You'll have my resignation in the morning."
+ The Captain dismisses her, but she does not leave. "How long will you be staying in Gafana, Captain?" "We need to resupply, and our soldiers could use a bit of R-and-R. A few days, maybe a week to reestablish the supply line. We aren't at war with Gafana, are we, _Tarhee_ Medina?" "Everyone is welcome here, Captain. And, frankly, we could use the company."
+ She leaves, but not before the Captain stops her. "Until your resignation is on my desk, I'm still your commanding officer. I have one last order for you." She turns, kind of surprised he'd pull rank on her, despite her intentions to prove she's independent of his command. "Get a haircut. Those braids aren't regulation." She smiles "I'll think about it."
+ The captain recognizes the autonomy of Gafana, but cannot guarantee that RINC will. For the time being, though, they're at the very lease, friendly. Thayla becomes the first mayor, and de-factor leader, for the city of Gafana. The State 3 raids still occur, but at a much lower, smaller rate. Dana remains his military adviser and liason to the RINC forces occupying the area.
+ Years later, Thayla dies due to the failure of a new pump for his antidote. His last words were: "I never had the heart to tell you...Tarhee means 'Traitor.'" Dana nods: "I know."
+ Dana takes over as mayor/leader, and full diplomatic ties start (with whoever ended up winning the war, most likely the RINCs. In her last scene, she pulls aside her blouse revealing a pump and inserts an antidote cartdridge in it as if it was nothing. It, and Gafanna, have become part of her life.

The Military Story (011) - 1104.14 Story Conference

Notes from Pazi:

++Reincorporated States (RINC) are located from Hudson Bay to Great Lakes. Citizens nick-named "Rinks."

+++Associated States: Smaller independent states that resemble the RINC form of government than not.

++Zakiri government is the "Zakiri Pantropist Collectives." ZPC are more of a collection of loosely connected city states that hold to an idea more than a government. There are six major "conferences" (Cities and environs) and thousands of small collectives. There are many "flavors" of Zakiri ideology. Nick-named "Zeeks," which the RINCs use as an insult.

+++Zakkiriyyah: Philosophy that replaces the Nation-State with a group of common people working for a common good, living the life they want to live, with like minded people, independent of government and coporate economics. Advocate genetic engineering to adapt to hostile environments.

+++Central Conference: ZPC's largest city in the Southwest Central area of the former United States. Large city, one of the few economically tied to other cities due to it's large population. Being non-centralized much of it's military and decision making are done by large networked consensus, which takes time, is usually right, but somewhat complicated to administer.
+++Other Conferences Are: The Pacific Conference, the Gulf Conference (which is also very big), the Northern Conference, The Western Conference and the Eastern Conference

++Zoners: Independent and purposely isolated city-states.

++The Collapse: A combination of social and natural disasters about thirty years ago that "cracked the world" breaking large nations into city-states.

++Regional Authorities: Coprorate stabilized cities created after The Collapse. Many thrived, most crumbled merging with other communities.

++Gafanna means "Contrary" in Amharic. Possible settled by Ethiopian American Survivors

++Zakiri have facial markings, used as a quick read of who and what this person "is" (due to all the genetic engineering). Dana's face markings are a condition of her service to the Zakiri. They read as "Community Defender - Outsider - Trusted" to the Zakiri who can read them. Would the poisoning be necessary with the branding? Try to reconcile the two, as a brand wouldn't keep her from escaping.

++Dana's facemarking shows her as a trusted outsider, and city defender. However, her obvious disrespect to the Zakiri Uniform, her RINC style hair braids prove that she misses home and may want to go back. In tandem with the markings, she's a city defender that may leave when it suits her. She is called Tarhee, which means Traitor. But not because they see her as a traitor to the RINC (although she may percieve it as such, when she finds out), but because they expect her to betray THEM. Consider this angle, but it may soften up the Zakiri too much. Maybe have more hardline Zakiri calling her Traitor to the Rincs, and more tolerant as "You might betray us" definitions?

The Military Story (012) - Story Outline 1104.150204

Two General Prequel.

·         Scene starts in a "Terra Nullius" cross-border-bar on the RINCS/Zakiri border five years in the past. The mood is generally jovial, but there is tension in the air: people reading about worsening relations between the RINCS and Zakiri, the occasional raised voice when talking about it (usually cut off by a glance from one of the bouncers).

·         At one of the tables is a Colonel from the RINCS army, holding an arm wrestling match in one hand, and drinking alcohol with the other hand. He seems to be playing with his opponent, laughing and pretending to lose, until he decides to put his opponent out of his misery and slams his arm on the table.

·         Another Colonel, this one from the Zakiri, enters the bar. It gets deathly quiet, and the RINC Colonel puts down his drink to look him over. The bouncers tense up. Zakiri Colonel: "I hear a Rinker's been makin' trouble for some of my kin. I hear he thinks he's a Colonel." The RINC Colonel threateningly and a bit theatrically walks over to the table. "Pickin' on some out of towners." The RINC Colonel just looks at him: "Ain't my problem if you Zakis just can't make anyone stronger'n me." Zakiri Colonel: "I've been itchin' to start a fight with one of you Rinkers for a while now." RINC Colonel puts out his arm, begging for an arm wrestling match. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you've got."

·         The two arm wrestle, and this time they're giving it their all. It's much more intense than when the Zakiri Colonel was playing with the last guy. In the end, the Zakiri Colonel loses. He immediately gets up, swiping his chair aside, insulted. The RINC Colonel does the same. They stare each other down. The bar is dead silent, people are looking for exits. The Zakiri colonel removes his jacket, as if he's getting ready for fisticuffs...but instead hands it to the RINC colonel: "Spoils of war."

·         The two immediately break into smiles and get into a great big bear hug, the whole thing was just a show and it seems, despite the realistic tensions, the two are old and very good friends.

·         They take a seat at a booth, and go over old times, where we learn the two grew up near the border cities, and were friends, divided by the quickly escalating conflict. We learn that there's been a slow cold war brewing for years now starting to boil over. Politicians brought up with haring about trumped up Zakiri bogeymen doing genetic engineering years ago, are now making policy based on those trumped up beliefs. Scared of the unknown, and unable to undermine the process, things are heating up into a war over ideology. The worst kind of war. The Zakiri talk about how their side is seeing the policies of the RINC as an excuse for empire building. They're wasteful with their resources, and these new policies and war rumblings conveniently happen at the same time the Zakiri recently discovered some [important somethings]. The tensions between the two begin to get heated before they both stop. "This is an argument for the politicans to debate about, not us. Let's have a drink."

·         Later, both colonels stumble out of the bar. The RINC Colonel begins to hand the jacket back to the Zakiri Colonel, who drunkenly stops him: "That's yours. You were the better man this time. Just give me a chance to win it back one day." This immediately sobers the mood between them. The next fight may be on the battlefield. RINC Colonel: "I hope that day never comes. But if it does..." Zakiri Colonel: "...then I hope you give me everything you've got, because I will." RINC Colonel: "And so will I." They give each other a big bear hug again, and go their seperate ways.

 

Two Generals Story (Establishes seperation of ideology and "humanity."):

·         Dana is a Lieutenant in the RINC Colonel's (now General's), army, in charge of a small platoon of men. She is obviously being groomed to rise in the ranks, and he's taken a special interest in helping her up the chain of command. She looks up to him not just as commanding officer but mentor.  Before a battle, the RINC General puts a Zakiri Uniform Jacket.  She asks why the RINC General is wearing an army uniform from the Zakiri's army. He explains they were both friends at one time, had a friendly rivalry, and hopes that they still do. The RINC General wears the uniform in battles as a mark of respect for Zakiri General. Dana doesn’t quite understand – how were they friends, being Zakiri and RINC?  He explains it was a long time ago, before things between the countries got bad.  Our ideologies are different, but the people are still people, enemies or not. She grasps, but still doesn't quite understand: The enemy is the enemy. And won't the RINC army mind him wearing an enemy uniform? "We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind."

·         --They go into battle, but it goes badly, and most of Dana's platoon is captured by the enemy.

·         --The Zakiri and RINC generals face each other on the battlefield, and after exchanging some stilted "wish we hadn't finally met this way" banter, remind each other of the promise to “give it their all” fight hand to hand in an epic hand-to-hand fight. As Dana and her platoon are carted away she sees the Zakiri General kill the RINC General, then remove his own hat in respect for a dead friend.

 

Prison/Negotiation (Establishes situation):

·         Dana is processed into the prison, the Zakiri version of Guantanamo Bay, and essentially worked over and worn down for information over the course of a few months. She reveals nothing, or fabrications.

·         One day, she's put in near solitary confinement. After a week, she is taken to a shower, cleaned up, given a fresh uniform from the RINC army, with full proper rank. She believes she is being released, but instead is taken directly to the Zakiri Defense Directorate for this region.  Dana attempts to attack the Directorate, but is held back by Thayla, a gigantic burley jarhead kind of man. He simply holds her back, but does not attack or harm her (other than the bruise of nearly crushing her upper arm to keep her from attacking the Directorate). The Directorate just wants to discuss a "matter of some importance."

·         The directorate sets down a plate of food before her. She eyes them suspiciously, and refuses to take it. "You'd think after a month of prison rations, you'd want these. But I can see how this might look suspicious.  Thayla?" Thayla picks up a slice of bread, and tears it into two. He presents the halves to Dana. "Take one." She does, and does not eat it. He takes the other and eats it, proving that, at least, that the bread will not kill her. She eats the other one. Thayla continues to tear them in half, eating one, and waiting for Dana to eat the other before doing it again. Throughout the conversation, the dinner is finished off between the two in this fashion.

·         The Directorate makes his case: The war in the East is going well, but taking up much of their manpower. They need every able person they can fighting on the eastern front to ensure victory. This has, however, led to the Western Frontier being open. The town of Gafana has recently found large deposits of some [valuable somethings] that a third state on their Western Frontier wants. And they're known to simply take what they want, regardless of who actually owns it.  With the war going well, but needing manpower, he cannot afford to send people to Gafana. But he can send her. "Patriots are not expendable, you are." He is willing to give her the equivalent rank and privilege in his army, the promise that she will not be sent to fight against her compatriots on the Eastern Front, to command a platoon of her handpicked officers from her country's POWs, and the Directorate's handpicked officers (who he can then order not to kill her, and reasonably expect the order to be obeyed) and maybe, just possibly, once the war is won, she will be sent back.

·         "If you decide not to go to the Western Front, you will be executed this evening. The camp is being shut down in the next few weeks, and we're determining which assets to take with us, which to release, and which to...discard. If we release you, you will lead a platoon right back here. And you know too much about our situation on the West to keep you alive.  Even If we moved you, you would do nothing but sit in a detention cell until the end of the war.  I do hate to waste available resources."

·         "But...if you decide to go to the Western frontier, you will not only have some limited freedom, so will your compatriots. And, should you bring down the camp population enough, we will see about keeping or releasing some of the 'assets' we planned to discard. Taking on this assignment, you would be responsible for the survival and possible repatriation of your people."

·         "However I need an assurance of your willingness to follow through with this plan. You and your compatriots will be poisoned with a poison that stays in your system. However, you will be given an antidote every week that keeps you alive. Your POW compatriots in your platoon will also be poisoned and given an antidote to ensure their loyalty. And to ensure delivery of the antidote, my handpicked soldiers will also be poisoned. Their antidote is your antidote.”

·         She agrees to the offer, not out of a sense of self preservation, but because her compatriots can't be released or saved if she is dead.

·         He then offers her and Thayla a glass of wine "to celebrate the arrangement." Thayla drinks his down. Dana does not. The directorate insists. "There's no better way to celebrate an agreement with a glass of wine." She again does not drink. "I'd would take your wine. It contains your first dose of antidote." She then realizes that the dinner WAS actually poisoned. "Had you decided not to agree, we simply would not have given you your wine."

·         On the way back to her cell, escorted by Thayla, she asks "were you just poisoned, too?" He nods "I will be your attaché in the West. My antidote is your antidote." "Were you poisoned because your loyalty is in question?" "I was poisoned because it was ordered of me."

·         She is immediately released from her cell, but heavily watched and guarded, observing the POWs and mentally singling out those she wants to go with her to Gafana.  She meets with each one of them, gauging their attitudes, and willingness to leave the camp.  She sells it by saying that escaping from a badly defended border town will be much easier than escaping from a heavily armed prison camp, and wins over many of her troops that way.  Some don’t.  They don’t want to be poisoned.  They don’t want to protect Zakiri.  Many consider what she’s doing as treason.  Some respond violently attacking what they see as “a turncoat.”

·         Two days before being shipped out, she and her compatriots are shown how to use Zakiri equipment, which is much more conservative and slightly lower tech than what they’re used to.  Most everything is a clamshell design, guns are small compact batons.  At the end, they’re ushered into another room where a tattooist awaits.  This comes as a surprise, as no one ever mentioned being “branded.”  It’s a necessity – the Zakiri facial tattoo markings are instant identifiers among the Zakiri.  As they are now in Zakiri service, they must be tattooed.  Many object, and some drop out.  A few begin to drop out until Dana, who is incensed that she was not told this would happen on top of the poisoning, agrees to it.  The Tattoo are a series of lines or markings under right eye that translate to: "Community Defender - Outsider – Trusted."  In the end, the group boils down to people who are loyal to Dana, not so much loyal to the RINCs.

 

Gafana Situations - in need of an over-arching story.

 

·         Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. Zakiri territory is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.

·         Dana wears a Zakiri military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up). All rank insignia are from RINC's army, though, and are in pristine condition.

·         Thayla walks through the officer barracks and notices Dana's light is on. Without knocking, he walks into her room, seeing her at a mirror by her bed. Much of her hair is in small tight braids, but not completely. She's threading the braids by hand. She turns to Thayla. Dana: "It's customary to knock before entering." Thayla: "A soldier in our army has no expectation of privacy, no matter his rank." Dana asks if he had anything to report, and it's an "all is well" kind of report. Dana (who officially outranks him) dismisses him. He hesitates (he is her minder and attaché and can, if he believes necessary, overrule her). Dana asks him while still braiding "What's on your mind, Thayla?" Thayla: "Why are you braiding your hair like that? It's not regulation." Dana: "It is in my army. We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind." Thayla: "It must take some time to braid those. Time better spent." Dana: "It's a bit of a fad back home. We have small little tools that make the braiding faster." Thayla: "That doesn't explain the why." Dana: "The answer to that is: Because I want to. Because I miss home, and this is how I can remember it."

·         Thayla segues into his next though: "You miss your home, yet you serve here. I would not have served with you. I would have died rather than serve in your army, betraying my homeland." Dana (not taking the bait): "I took this assignment because there were more choices I could take by serving here" She looks Thayla over: "I may be a dog on a leash right now, but it's a very thin long leash. I can still mostly choose the direction I want to go in. You, however, wear short chains. Your lead is directed totally by your master, and that chain will probably never break.  My leash could break at any time.  Sooner than later, I’m hoping.” Thayla queues in on this remark – she’s going to try to escape.

·         Inevitable first escape attempt, fails when antidote is not administered when she and a few trusted men go on the run (She plans to report, come back, and free the rest).  She begins feeling weak, breathing heavy, headachey.  Eventually the heavy breathing becomes a gasping.  The poison essentially stops her body from receiving oxygen without the antidote.  While it doesn’t kill right away, you quickly become disoriented, faint from lack of oxygen, and, if not administered quickly, begin to completely starve of oxygen.  Thayla, knowing that she would escape, but knowing she would need to understand how quickly she would become incapacitated, finds her and returns her to town.  She is nursed back to health but not punished or incarcerated: “Hopefully, your experience in the wilderness will convince you not to try again.  You're place is in Gafana.” “My prison is Gafana.” “You are the PROTECTOR of Gafana.”

·         Most of the townfolk initially hate Dana as she is one of "The Enemy RINC." She is often referred to as "Tarhee Dana." She assumes it's the military rank from the tattoo on her cheek, but it in fact, it means "Traitor."

·         Dana at first does not go off camp, spending as much time in her office coordinating the move (which is just an excuse), once that's done she begins working on drilling regimes, trying to integrate the two sides of her platoons into one (again, just an excuse). Eventually, the first raid occurs, and she dispatches her troops. They're excellent at their job (when they're mostly separated, merging together, the styles clash a bit), but repulsing the raid is a bit of a disaster. They’ve successfully repulsed them, but were unfamiliar with the area. Only the maps. It took much longer to repulse the State 3 force than she expected, and there was damage to the city.  While this loses a bit of what little respect the townspeople have in their new defenders, the troops are heavily involved in the rebuilding of the city, starting a slow turnaround of the city’s confidence in their defenders.  She, personally, begins to explore the city, to familiarize herself with it.

·         One of the Zakiri soldiers has befriends one of the RINC soldiers. The Zakiri is familiar with the area, and knows a good restaurant they should go to. The two go out, and come back. The RINC soldier mentions that the restaurant seemed okay, and had good food. Dana, tired of rations, goes alone. However her RINC-style braided hair makes her much more obvious than the other RINC solder, and she does not have a jovial Zakiri with her to cut the tension. The restaurant serves her, the food is good and well made (no one's done anything vile to it because of her), but the patrons are cold and some leave. Zakiri eat with chopsticks, not forks, and she has issues trying to use them, making her predicament a bit more obvious. It’s not a very good time for Dana, although, in the end, the food does lift her spirits as the rations are rather boring.  The restaurant will eventually become a place for many of the RINCs to go to. The owner is willing to pick up the RINC/Zakiri soldier's money, which more than makes up for the loss of some of the more intolerant Zakiris who leave. The owner even manages to smuggle in forks for the RINCs to use.

·         She begins effectively protecting the town from skirmishes with State #3. They're more raids than skirmishes, and do not tax her troops much.

·         A Zakiri troop, whose brother was recently killed in action, decides to take revenge on Dana by stealing her ration of antidote and hoping no one can find it in time.  Thayla, knowing that this isn’t the only troop who has considered this, takes that troops antidote, giving it to Dana, leaving troop to die within hours.  It’s a terrible decision, and Thayla is not happy about it – but by doing it, he earns Dana’s respect (she did not expect him to save her over another fellow Zakiri).  She recognizes Thayla’s unhappiness at essentially executing a troop. Thayla brushes it off as Dana outranking the troop, therefore more deserving of the antidite, but it rings hollow.  She attempts to comfort him anyway: she's reminded of the RINC General's word - we're people, no matter our ideology.Any troops who may have considered killing Dana now know she is protected, and the consequences are harsh.  

·         She begins to familiarize herself with the town. As she grows to accept these people, she grows curious about them, and about the culture of the area, much different than hers. Imagine Ancient Roman Soldier depositied in Ancient China. Some people still hate her, but are tolerating her as she's protected the town.  They’re unsure of her though: her marking show her as a trusted outsider, but her demeanor, uniform and insistence on the hair braids come across as “I’m going home AS SOON AS I CAN.”  Some of the more uneasy Zakiri begin banding into their own citizen’s militia, as they have little faith she will protect them for long.

·         Eventually, the restaurant will be firebombed by a lone radical trying to force, but rebuilt with not only the platoon's help, but the citizen’s militia.  The beginning of acceptance by all parties of each other.

·         Several years in, she's become, if not friendly by the natives, shakily respected by the natives. They all call her Tarhee, though, which she still thinks is a military rank.

·         She has made a few friends among the populace, usually merchants who have seen her often, and have treated her well for her and her platoon's money, and, eventually, gotten to know her. They have suffered a bit for it, losing clientele when she comes in (though less and less as time goes by). Friends she has made, however, often lose other friends. Even her friends call her "Tarhee."

·         Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the Zakiri Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!" The war is not going as well for the Zakiri, and with Thayla's reports backing up without as much feedback as the war effort gets more intense, she takes a chance:  She attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended with only the citizen’s militia, and the remainder of her troops.  She returns, blaming the “delay” on having to quickly administer an antidote before the battle.

 

Possible Climax

 

·         A RINC army is slowly closing in on Gafana, and news gets back to the town. Many of the RINC POWs are happy to hear this, but the Zakiri soldiers are not as they think they'll be made into POWs. At the same time, State 3 is encroaching on the city with a large force. While the platoon and citizen's bridage are large enough to repulse one force, they cannot do both forces, should the RINCs try to take the city.

·         The State 3 force is one day away. Dana sends scouts to check out their numbers, and, as predicted, it's the largest sent, but with the help of the citizen brigades and Dana's forces, they could hold them off. But in her logic, she realizes that even if they defeat the forces, they would come back with a larger force they couldn't handle. She would need something to scare them off permanently.

·         She walks the hallways of the barracks, listening to the laughs and jibes of the soldiers, both Zakiri and RINC, finally meshed together as a fighting whole. And then she finds a soldier alone. He's writing a letter to his family back in the RINC. She stops and talks with him a while, and realizes he has written a letter every day of his time in Gafana, but not mailed it (he doesn't know if it will ever get there). This gives her an idea.

·         She rummages through the barracks, and finds a RINC uniform from a previously captured soldier which fits the man. She dusts it off, cleans it up, but puts Zakiri rank markers and insignia on it. She quickly writes a note to the head of the RINC army headed her way, informing them of RINC POWs in Gafana, and a number of “sympathetic” Zakiri. She then tells the messenger to rewrite it, as he's more of a wordsmith than she is (the diary is huge, the letters could make up their own book). Once done, she rewrites it again, adds a few code phrases and signals. She hands the letter to the soldier and tells him to meet the RINC army head on. When he gets there, ask for "Messenger's Privilidge." This is an international “law” that would allow him to deliver Dana's message to the head of the RINC legion coming to Gafana, and be released without fear of capture. She also suggests he takes his letters to be posted.

·         The mood is tense in the barracks, the Zakiri are not looking forward to the RINC army coming and they are prepared (and very willling) to fight. The RINC POWs, including Dana are worried that, even though they were told they would never have to fight their own brothers, they may need to do so if they come under fire. Some of the Zakiri and RINCs push hard to flee Gafana and regroup elsewhere when they decide what to do about the double onslaught.

·         The messenger returns with a note and a package. She opens the package, and inside are uniforms and insignia for the RINC army. She looks at the note, and neither smiles, nor frowns, but shows grim determination, and perhaps a bit of dissapointment.  She spends most of the night contemplating the future of Gafana when it comes to her:

·         She addresses the troops, both the platoon, and citizen’s brigade. They are not a Zakiri Force. They are not a RINC platoon. They are a Gafana Platoon, and they are there to protect the city. She convinces the Zakiri soldiers to stay - she needs them to defend the city and she will do everything she can to keep you free. She convinces the RINC soldiers to stay - we will not fight the RINCs unless absolutely necessary, and only in defense of the city from desctruction. There are very few desertions before the impending fight.

·         The State 3 assault comes. The Gafana Army shows up, many are wearing the packaged RINC jackets over their Zakiri uniforms, and vice versa. Dana is wearing her Zakiri uniform, with RINC insignia, in pristine and military regulation for the first time in the whole story.

·         Casualties are massive on both sides, but in the end the State 3 army backs off...but doesn't retreat. Instead, another small force comes in, relief for the first force. Dana had no idea this was coming, but she's not worried, as over the hills come the RINC forces. And they are massive. The Zakiri bid a hasty retreat back to their territory without a second shot fired: They're overwhelmed, and know better than to fight a losing battle.

·         The army marches closer to the city. The Gafana military and Citizen’s Brigade wait at the border. Dana and Thayla walk out, exposed and weaponless, towards the army, and stops halfway. The approaching RINC forces pause. She shouts "I am Tarhee Dana Medina, of the free city of Gafana." Thayla wearing a RINC uniform with Zakiri markings continues:"We welcome peaceful visitors to our city, with open arms. Make no trouble here, and you shall have no trouble." The RINC soldiers just pause, look at each other and try to figure out what the hell just happened.

·         Dana had banked everything on this, hoping the approaching RINC army would provide the scare tactics to help keep the State 3 army away, just by showing up. Had the RINCs decided to attack the city, or killed her/Thayla during their declaration...she had no follow up plans.  It was a Hail Mary pass.

·         The RINC army has camped just out of town. Dana enters the Captain's tent, the one who heads the RINC Army that marched on Gafana. She is still in a Zakiri uniform with RINC markings. He calls her Lieutenant recognizing her rank, but admonishes her for wearing a Zakiri uniform. He expects a salute, but she gives none, standing-at-ease. She's respecting him as a fellow military person, but not as a commanding officer.

·         He tells her he recieved her message, and was not suprised to see her impressed into servince in Gafana. This is the third border city they had come across with impressed RINC commanders. But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.

·         He had sent along the uniforms, expecting the RINC POWs would immediately report to him in them for debriefing. Instead only a few did and reupped with his army. Dana: "They take commands from me, sir. I told them they could report back if they wanted to." "You take commands from ME." "With all due respect, sir, I have not taken orders from either the RINC or Zakiri chain of command for some time. We are the free city of Gafana. We are not just RINC or Zakiri, we are BOTH RINC and Zakiri."

·         The Captain is dissapointed. "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances, but what you’re saying could be considered desertion." "Then you'll have my resignation in the morning."

·         The Captain dismisses her, but she does not leave, again, not recognizing his ability to command her. "How long will you be staying in Gafana, Captain?" "We need to resupply, and our soldiers could use a bit of R-and-R. A few days, maybe a week to reestablish the supply line.”  He pauses, finally realizing he is no longer dealing with a soldier, but dealing with a politician.  “We aren't at war with Gafana, are we, _Tarhee_ Medina?" "Everyone is welcome here, Captain. And, frankly, we could use the company."

·         She leaves, but not before the Captain stops her. "Until your resignation is on my desk, I'm still your commanding officer. I have one last order for you." She turns, kind of surprised he'd pull rank on her, despite her intentions to prove she's independent of his command. "Get a haircut. Those braids aren't regulation." She smiles "I'll think about it."

·         The captain recognizes the autonomy of Gafana, but cannot guarantee that RINC will. For the time being, though, they're at the very least, friendly. Thayla becomes the first mayor, and de-factor leader, for the city of Gafana. The State 3 raids still occur, but at a much lower, smaller rate. Dana remains his military adviser and liason to the RINC forces occupying the area.

·         Years later, Thayla dies due to the failure of a new pump for his antidote. His last words were: "I never had the heart to tell you...Tarhee means 'Traitor.'" Dana nods: "I know."

·         Dana takes over as mayor/leader, and full diplomatic ties start (with whoever ended up winning the war, most likely the RINCs. In her last scene, she pulls aside her blouse revealing a pump and inserts an antidote cartdridge in it as if it was nothing. It, and Gafanna, have become part of her life.

The Military Story (013) - Pazi's Story Notes 1104.151249

Gafanna is populated by remnants of Ethiopian Americans, and much of the culture and food comes from that.

When eating native Gafana food, Dana will not be familiar with eating with her hands or scooping with bread. Zakiri foods are tailored to the general culture of the city (in this case Ethiopian), one part "old style kind of food" (modified meat, chicken, rice...something we'd recognize but in an odd way), and bizzare (genetically modified bullfrog meat, anyone?)

Primary grains are teff and amaranth, which she is not used to. Not used to getting rice or some other grain with every meal. Food is mostly eaten with the hands, bread or chopsticks, all alien to Dana. Flatware is incredibly uncommon, because it's just not part of this culture, and can be obtained if one looks hard enough for it. Foods she thinks will be familiar aren't (due to different ingredients, or methods of cooking). Vegetables are unrecognizable to her, and much more served than she's used to. Meats tend to be what's available in the wild (frog, pheasant, goat, rabbit, bison, deep), and now what she's used to from home.

She also finds it spicy as hell.

The Military Story (014) - Scene changes 1104.1515

Restaurant scene change:
--Zakiri soldier decides to haze one of the RINC soldiers, by taking him out to eat at a restaurant nearby. The food of the local culture is incredibly spicy and definiantely not something you'd think the RINCs would eat. They're hoping to make the RINC soldier sick. Instead, the RINC soldier happily eats it down. His family have Ethiopian Roots, and he hasn't had good food like this in some time. The Zakiri soldier is flabbergasted, and then realizes he may have misjudged this RINC. He didn't realize the RINC might actually like this, much less grown up with it. It's the beginning of the first real friendship between the RINC and Zakiri soldiers.

The Military Story (015) - Story Conference 1104.152010

--Dana's first escape attempt happens almost immediately, and is thoroughly shut down. It's her resignation to living in Gafana that opens her eyes to Gafana.
--Dana and her troops eat with their left hands, which is considered bad manners in Gafana, but more on a "isn't it charmingly cute, they don't know how to eat correctly" kind of way, versus insulting. It's a way of showing that while they don't trust her, and she's an outsider, she's very human, and doesn't know how to get by easily in their world. Reactions will range from distrust to more "how DO you survive?" And it's not just one misguided girl, it's a whole LOT of them. And they need our help to survive. A way of humanizing and sympathizing with the new protectors.
--Gafana, while ethnically diverse, is populated by a slim majority of Ethiopian descendants. Dana is Mexican. Thayla is African, but possibly not descended from Ethiopians (why poison him if he's already assimiliated into this culture?)

The Military Story (016) - Story ideas 1104.161435

--Have Gafana be incredibly geographically different that RINC Homeland. Her first view of Gafana, she notices mountains in tthe distance where her homeland was flat. Or vice versa depending on the terrain. Either way, she's awestruck by it, as she's not really left her region before.
--Drop the differnet language schtick. The original idea had these being farflug and massively different cultures. New version is still far flung, but was originally hegemonous (US/Canada). Make specific words (such as Tarhee) a culturally specific thing, or said to keep the meanings obscure to the person being called in (aka, Dana). Try to keep to Ethiopian words instead of made up.
--Drop Thayla being poisoned. He is now her "temporary" minder, waiting to go back to the War on the Eastern Front. As the war goes badly, he loses touch with the Central Conference, and becomes just as trapped in Gafana as Dana does.

The Military Story (017) - Notes from a friend formerly in the military 1104.170232

--Dana is fraternizing too much with the enlisted men, which is very dangerous. You can't send someone to their deaths if you care too much about them. However, if it's a sign of the deteriorating discipline state, then this would also be the first thing to break.
--Do not make the battle flashy. Most battles are blunt, brutal, and quick. Long involved battles are unrealistic. If someone dies, make sure to show it - they just gave their life for something, don't brush it off.

The Military Story (018) - Scene addition 1104.171031

· Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the Zakiri Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!"
·· The last package they recieve from the Zakiri Defence Directorate contains nearly six months of antidote, as well as three synthesis machines for making it. Thayla is the first one to realize what this means: "We're on our own."

The Military Story (019) - Story Conference 1104.162303

+ Zakiri government is government by consensus. They follow who they trust.
+ Thayla is a native of Gafana, posted due to his familiarity with the area, but scheduled to go on the front lines after he has faith Dana can do her job. He stays until he has faith in Dana, but then stays longer as Dana asks him for help understanding the local culture. Finally he is forced to stay when resources aren't available to bring him back. He stays permanently when all communication with the Zakiri are cut off. He's as stuck in Gafana as Dana is.
+ RINCs military is most like US. Focus on mobility, well supported armored fighting, and mechanized infantry. Ground craft, Ekranoplanes and light littoral compbat ships are common home turf defenses. Think US.
+ Zakiri are much looser knit. Lots of commandos and loose knit cell networks. Equipment meant to be human-portable and even improvised. Vehicles are light but very good at the one thing they're designed to do. Use biomimetic and autonomous drone weapons. Reverse engineer tech to determine how it works. Cells are most likely run by people who are charismatic, competent and trustworthy versus who ever has the higher rank. Think Viet Cong with adapted US tech.
+ Dana's RINC military forces should eventually "devolve" a bit to match the Zakiri. Her Zakiri should eventually "evolve" to the RINC style of military. A nice hybrid of the two in the end. More of a heavily armed police defence force than a Zakiri/RINC platoon/brigade.
+3rd State military forces use multiped tanks, light armored fighting vehicles, enhanced infantry and many many drones. They're well networks, gestalt-ish minds. Think Borg with less hive mind, and more interdependence.

Voices of Authority (020) - Chapter Breakdown

Chapter break down

Act I - Getting to Gafana
Chapter 1 - Two Generals - Battle - Capture
Chapter 2 - Prison - Negotiation - Training - Gafana
Chapter 3 - Escape Attempt
Chapter 4 - First Skirmish
Chapter 5 - Rebuilding - Restaurant Shenanigans
Act II - Year 1
Chapter 6 - Skirmish - Life in the Front Lines - Underground forms
Chapter 7 - Attempt on Dana's Life
Chapter 8 - Escape Attempt II - Skirmish -
Chapter 9 - Firebombing
Chapter 10 - Rebuilding - Investigation - The Citizen's Brigade
Act III - Year 2
Chapter 11 - Trial of the Underground - Life in Year 2
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Act IV - Year 3
Chapter 16 - Life in Year 3
Chapter 17
Chapter 18 - We're on our own.
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Act V - Year 4
Chapter 21 - Life in Year 4
Chapter 22
Chapter 23 - The RINC are coming. And so are the State 3ers.
Chapter 24 - End Game, Final Skirmish - RINC arrival
Chapter 25 - RINC Negotiations, Soldier transfers, The Creation of Gafana.

Voices of Authority (021) - Outline Draft 1104.172317

Voices of Authority – Outline Draft 1104.172317 - By Jenn Dolari with Pazi Ashfeather and Tess Flynn.

 

Act I – The Homesick Soldier

            Episode 1

• Scene starts in a "Terra Nullius" cross-border-bar on the RINCS/Zakiri border five years in the past. The mood is generally jovial, but there is tension in the air: people reading about worsening relations between the RINCS and Zakiri, the occasional raised voice when talking about it (usually cut off by a glance from one of the bouncers).

• At one of the tables is a Lieutenant from the RINCS army, holding an arm wrestling match in one hand, and drinking alcohol with the other hand. He seems to be playing with his opponent, laughing and pretending to lose, until he decides to put his opponent out of his misery and slams his arm on the table.

• Another Lieutenant, this one from the Zakiri, enters the bar. It gets deathly quiet, and the RINC Lieutenant puts down his drink to look him over. The bouncers tense up. Zakiri Lieutenant: "I hear a Rinker's been makin' trouble for some of my kin. I hear he thinks he's a Lieutenant." The RINC Lieutenant threateningly and a bit theatrically walks over to the table. "Pickin' on some out of towners." The RINC Lieutenant just looks at him: "Ain't my problem if you Zakis just can't make anyone stronger'n me." Zakiri Lieutenant: "I've been itchin' to start a fight with one of you Rinkers for a while now." RINC Lieutenant puts out his arm, begging for an arm wrestling match. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you've got."

• The two arm wrestle, and this time they're giving it their all. It's much more intense than when the Zakiri Lieutenant was playing with the last guy. In the end, the Zakiri Lieutenant loses. He immediately gets up, swiping his chair aside, insulted. The RINC Lieutenant does the same. They stare each other down. The bar is dead silent, people are looking for exits. The Zakiri Lieutenant removes his jacket, as if he's getting ready for fisticuffs...but instead hands it to the RINC Lieutenant: "Spoils of war."

• The two immediately break into smiles and get into a great big bear hug, the whole thing was just a show and it seems, despite the realistic tensions, the two are old and very good friends.

• They take a seat at a booth, and go over old times, where we learn the two grew up near the border cities, and were friends, divided by the quickly escalating conflict. We learn that there's been a slow cold war brewing for years now starting to boil over. Politicians brought up with haring about trumped up Zakiri bogeymen doing genetic engineering years ago, are now making policy based on those trumped up beliefs. Scared of the unknown, and unable to undermine the process, things are heating up into a war over ideology. The worst kind of war. The Zakiri talk about how their side is seeing the policies of the RINC as an excuse for empire building. They're wasteful with their resources, and these new policies and war rumblings conveniently happen at the same time the Zakiri recently discovered some [important somethings]. The tensions between the two begin to get heated before they both stop. "This is an argument for the politicans to debate about, not us. Let's have a drink."

• Later, both Lieutenants stumble out of the bar. The RINC Lieutenant begins to hand the jacket back to the Zakiri Lieutenant, who drunkenly stops him: "That's yours. You were the better man this time. Just give me a chance to win it back one day." This immediately sobers the mood between them. The next fight may be on the battlefield. RINC Lieutenant: "I hope that day never comes. But if it does..." Zakiri Lieutenant: "...then I hope you give me everything you've got, because I will." RINC Lieutenant: "And so will I." They give each other a big bear hug again, and go their seperate ways.

 • Dana is a Lieutenant in the RINC Lieutenant's (now Colonel's), army, in charge of a small platoon of men. She is obviously being groomed to rise in the ranks, and he's taken a special interest in helping her up the chain of command. She looks up to him not just as commanding officer but mentor.  Before a battle, the RINC Colonel puts a Zakiri Uniform Jacket.  She asks why the RINC Colonel is wearing an army uniform from the Zakiri's army. He explains they were both friends at one time, had a friendly rivalry, and hopes that they still do. The RINC Colonel wears the uniform in battles as a mark of respect for Zakiri Colonel. Dana doesn’t quite understand – how were they friends, being Zakiri and RINC?  He explains it was a long time ago, before things between the countries got bad.  Our ideologies are different, but the people are still people, enemies or not. She grasps, but still doesn't quite understand: The enemy is the enemy. And won't the RINC army mind him wearing an enemy uniform? "We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind."

• They go into battle, but it goes badly, and most of Dana's platoon is captured by the enemy.

• The Zakiri and RINC Colonels face each other on the battlefield, and after exchanging some stilted "wish we hadn't finally met this way" banter, remind each other of the promise to “give it their all” fight hand to hand in an epic hand-to-hand fight. As Dana and her platoon are carted away she sees the Zakiri Colonel kill the RINC Colonel, then remove his own hat in respect for a dead friend.

 

Episode 2

• Dana is processed into the prison, the Zakiri version of Guantanamo Bay, and essentially worked over and worn down for information over the course of a few months. She reveals nothing, or fabrications.

• One day, she's put in near solitary confinement. After a week, she is taken to a shower, cleaned up, given a fresh uniform from the RINC army, with full proper rank. She believes she is being released, but instead is taken directly to the Zakiri Defense Directorate for this region.  Dana attempts to attack the Directorate, but is held back by Thayla, a gigantic burley jarhead kind of man. He simply holds her back, but does not attack or harm her (other than the bruise of nearly crushing her upper arm to keep her from attacking the Directorate). The Directorate just wants to discuss a "matter of some importance."

• The directorate sets down a plate of food before her. She eyes them suspiciously, and refuses to take it. "You'd think after a month of prison rations, you'd want these. But I can see how this might look suspicious.  Thayla?" Thayla picks up a slice of bread, and tears it into two. He presents the halves to Dana. "Take one." She does, and does not eat it. He takes the other and eats it, proving that, at least, that the bread will not kill her. She eats the other one. Thayla continues to tear them in half, eating one, and waiting for Dana to eat the other before doing it again. Throughout the conversation, the bread, but not the rest of the dinner, is finished off between the two in this fashion.

• The Directorate makes his case: The war in the East is going well, but taking up much of their manpower. They need every able person they can fighting on the eastern front to ensure victory. This has, however, led to the Western Frontier being open. The town of Gafana has recently found large deposits of some [valuable somethings] that a third state on their Western Frontier wants. And they're known to simply take what they want, regardless of who actually owns it.  With the war going well, but needing manpower, he cannot afford to send people to Gafana. But he can send her. "Patriots are not expendable, you are." He is willing to give her the equivalent rank and privilege in his army, the promise that she will not be sent to fight against her compatriots on the Eastern Front, to command a platoon of her handpicked officers from her country's POWs, and the Directorate's handpicked officers (who he can then order not to kill her, and reasonably expect the order to be obeyed) and maybe, just possibly, once the war is won, she will be sent back.

• "If you decide not to go to the Western Front, you will be executed this evening. The camp is being shut down in the next few weeks, and we're determining which assets to take with us, which to release, and which to...discard. If we release you, you will lead a platoon right back here. And you know too much about our situation on the West to keep you alive.  Even If we moved you, you would do nothing but sit in a detention cell until the end of the war.  I do hate to waste available resources."

• "But...if you decide to go to the Western frontier, you will not only have some limited freedom, so will your compatriots. And, should you bring down the camp population enough, we will see about keeping or releasing some of the 'assets' we planned to discard. Taking on this assignment, you would be responsible for the survival and possible repatriation of your people."

• "However I need an assurance of your willingness to follow through with this plan. You and your compatriots will be poisoned with a poison that stays in your system. However, you will be given an antidote every week that keeps you alive. Your POW compatriots in your platoon will also be poisoned and given an antidote to ensure their loyalty. And to ensure delivery of the antidote, my handpicked soldiers will also be poisoned. Their antidote is your antidote.”

• She agrees to the offer, not out of a sense of self preservation, but because her compatriots can't be released or saved if she is dead.

• He then offers her a glass of wine "to celebrate the arrangement." Dana does not drink it. The directorate insists. "There's no better way to celebrate an agreement with a glass of wine." She again does not drink. "I'd would take your wine. It contains your first dose of antidote." She then realizes that the dinner WAS actually poisoned. "Had you decided not to agree, we simply would not have given you your wine."

• She is immediately released from her cell, but heavily watched and guarded, observing the POWs and mentally singling out those she wants to go with her to Gafana.  She meets with each one of them, gauging their attitudes, and willingness to leave the camp.  She sells it by saying that escaping from a badly defended border town will be much easier than escaping from a heavily armed prison camp, and wins over many of her troops that way.  Some don’t.  They don’t want to be poisoned.  They don’t want to protect Zakiri.  Many consider what she’s doing as treason.  Some respond violently attacking what they see as “a turncoat.”

• Two days before being shipped out, she and her compatriots are shown how to use Zakiri equipment, which is much more conservative and slightly lower tech than what they’re used to.  Most everything is a clamshell design, guns are small compact batons.  At the end, they’re ushered into another room where a tattooist awaits.  This comes as a surprise, as no one ever mentioned being “branded.”  It’s a necessity – the Zakiri facial tattoo markings are instant identifiers among the Zakiri.  As they are now in Zakiri service, they must be tattooed.  Many object, and some drop out.  A few begin to drop out until Dana, who is incensed that she was not told this would happen on top of the poisoning, agrees to it.  The Tattoo are a series of lines or markings under right eye that translate to: "Community Defender - Outsider – Trusted."  In the end, the group boils down to people who are loyal to Dana, not so much loyal to the RINCs.

• Her first view of Gafana, she notices mountains in tthe distance where her homeland was flat. Or vice versa depending on the terrain. Either way, she's awestruck by it, as she's not really left her region before.

 

            Episode 3

• Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. Zakiri territory is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.

• Gafana, while ethnically diverse, is populated by a slim majority of Ethiopian descendants. Dana is Mexican. Thayla is Ethiopian descended, a native of Gafana.

• Dana wears a Zakiri military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up). All rank insignia are from RINC's army, though, and are in pristine condition.

• Thayla walks through the officer barracks and notices Dana's light is on. Without knocking, he walks into her room, seeing her at a mirror by her bed. Much of her hair is in small tight braids, but not completely. She's threading the braids by hand. She turns to Thayla. Dana: "It's customary to knock before entering." Thayla: "A soldier in our army has no expectation of privacy, no matter his rank." Dana asks if he had anything to report, and it's an "all is well" kind of report. Dana (who officially outranks him) dismisses him. He hesitates (he is her minder and attaché and can, if he believes necessary, overrule her). Dana asks him while still braiding "What's on your mind, Thayla?" Thayla: "Why are you braiding your hair like that? It's not regulation." Dana: "It is in my army. We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind." Thayla: "It must take some time to braid those. Time better spent." Dana: "It's a bit of a fad back home. We have small little tools that make the braiding faster." Thayla: "That doesn't explain the why." Dana: "The answer to that is: Because I want to. Because I miss home, and this is how I can remember it."

• Thayla segues into his next though: "You miss your home, yet you serve here. I would not have served with you. I would have died rather than serve in your army, betraying my homeland." Dana (not taking the bait): "I took this assignment because there were more choices I could take by serving here" She looks Thayla over: "I may be a dog on a leash right now, but it's a very thin long leash. I can still mostly choose the direction I want to go in. You, however, wear short chains. Your lead is directed totally by your master, and that chain will probably never break.  My leash could break at any time.  Sooner than later, I’m hoping.” Thayla queues in on this remark – she’s going to try to escape.

• Inevitable first escape attempt, fails when antidote is not administered when she and a few trusted men go on the run (She plans to report, come back, and free the rest).  She begins feeling weak, breathing heavy, headachey.  Eventually the heavy breathing becomes a gasping.  The poison essentially stops her body from receiving oxygen without the antidote.  While it doesn’t kill right away, you quickly become disoriented, faint from lack of oxygen, and, if not administered quickly, begin to completely starve of oxygen.  Thayla, knowing that she would escape, but knowing she would need to understand how quickly she would become incapacitated, finds her and returns her to town.  She is nursed back to health but not punished or incarcerated: “Hopefully, your experience in the wilderness will convince you not to try again.  You're place is in Gafana.” “My prison is Gafana.” “You are the PROTECTOR of Gafana.”

• It's her resignation to living in Gafana that opens her eyes to Gafana.

 

            Episode 4

• Most of the townfolk initially hate Dana as she is one of "The Enemy RINC." She is often referred to as "Tarhee Dana." She assumes it's the military rank from the tattoo on her cheek, but it in fact, it means "Traitor."

• Dana at first does not go off camp, spending as much time in her office coordinating the move (which is just an excuse), once that's done she begins working on drilling regimes, trying to integrate the two sides of her platoons into one (again, just an excuse). Eventually, the first raid occurs, and she dispatches her troops. They're excellent at their job (when they're mostly separated, merging together, the styles clash a bit), but repulsing the raid is a bit of a disaster. They’ve successfully repulsed them, but were unfamiliar with the area. Only the maps. It took much longer to repulse the State 3 force than she expected, and there was damage to the city.  While this loses a bit of what little respect the townspeople have in their new defenders, the troops are heavily involved in the rebuilding of the city, starting a slow turnaround of the city’s confidence in their defenders. 

 

            Episode 5

• Gafanna is populated by remnants of Ethiopian Americans, and much of the culture and food comes from that.

• Zakiri soldier decides to haze one of the RINC soldiers, by taking him out to eat at a restaurant nearby. The food of the local culture is incredibly spicy and definiantely not something you'd think the RINCs would eat. They're hoping to make the RINC soldier sick. Instead, the RINC soldier happily eats it down. His family have Ethiopian Roots, and he hasn't had good food like this in some time. The Zakiri soldier is flabbergasted, and then realizes he may have misjudged this RINC. He didn't realize the RINC might actually like this, much less grown up with it. It's the beginning of the first real friendship between the RINC and Zakiri soldiers.

• Dana, tired of rations, hears about the restaurant, and goes alone. However her RINC-style braided hair makes her much more obvious than the other RINC solder, and she does not have a jovial Zakiri with her to cut the tension. The restaurant serves her, the food is good and well made (no one's done anything vile to it because of her), but the patrons are cold and some leave. Zakiri eat with chopsticks when they're not eating with their hands, not forks, and she has issues trying to use them, making her predicament a bit more obvious. It’s not a very good time for Dana, although, in the end, the food does lift her spirits as the rations are rather boring. 

• When eating native Gafana food, Dana will not be familiar with eating with her hands or scooping with bread. Zakiri foods are tailored to the general culture of the city (in this case Ethiopian), one part "old style kind of food" (modified meat, chicken, rice...something we'd recognize but in an odd way), and bizzare (genetically modified bullfrog meat, anyone?)

• Primary grains are teff and amaranth, which she is not used to. Not used to getting rice or some other grain with every meal. Food is mostly eaten with the hands, bread or chopsticks, all alien to Dana. Flatware is incredibly uncommon, because it's just not part of this culture, and can be obtained if one looks hard enough for it. Foods she thinks will be familiar aren't (due to different ingredients, or methods of cooking). Vegetables are unrecognizable to her, and much more served than she's used to. Meats tend to be what's available in the wild (frog, pheasant, goat, rabbit, bison, deep), and now what she's used to from home.

• She also finds it spicy as hell.

The restaurant will eventually become a place for many of the RINCs to go to. The owner is willing to pick up the RINC/Zakiri soldier's money, which more than makes up for the loss of some of the more intolerant Zakiris who leave. The owner even manages to find flatware for the RINCs to use.  Dana and her troops eat with their left hands, which is considered bad manners in Gafana, but more on a "isn't it charmingly cute, they don't know how to eat correctly" kind of way, versus insulting. It's a way of showing that while they don't trust her, and she's an outsider, she's very human, and doesn't know how to get by easily in their world. Reactions will range from distrust to more "how DO you survive?" And it's not just one misguided girl, it's a whole LOT of them. And they need our help to survive. A way of humanizing and sympathizing with the new protectors.

• Dana, personally, begins to explore the city, to familiarize herself with it.

 

Act II – Life in Gafana

            Episode 6

• She begins effectively protecting the town from skirmishes with State #3. They're more raids than skirmishes, and do not tax her troops much.

• She begins to familiarize herself with the town. As she grows to accept these people, she grows curious about them, and about the culture of the area, much different than hers. Imagine Ancient Roman Soldier depositied in Ancient China. Some people still hate her, but are tolerating her as she's protected the town.  They’re unsure of her though: her marking show her as a trusted outsider, but her demeanor, uniform and insistence on the hair braids come across as “I’m going home AS SOON AS I CAN.”  Some of the more uneasy Zakiri begin banding into their own citizen’s militia, as they have little faith she will protect them for long.  Two groups form, a citizen’s brigade to protect the city themselves, and an underground to remove Dana and her RINCs from the population.

 

            Episode 7

• A Zakiri troop, whose brother was recently killed in action, decides to take revenge on Dana by stealing her ration of antidote and hoping no one can find it in time.  Thayla, knowing that this isn’t the only troop who has considered this, takes that troops antidote, giving it to Dana, leaving troop to die within hours.  It’s a terrible decision, and Thayla is not happy about it – but by doing it, he earns Dana’s respect (she did not expect him to save her over another fellow Zakiri).  She recognizes Thayla’s unhappiness at essentially executing a troop. Thayla brushes it off as Dana outranking the troop, therefore more deserving of the antidite, but it rings hollow.  She attempts to comfort him anyway: she's reminded of the RINC Colonel's word - we're people, no matter our ideology.Any troops who may have considered killing Dana now know she is protected, and the consequences are harsh. 

 

            Episode 8

• Disillusioned by the recent attempt on her life, Dana attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended with only the citizen’s militia, and the remainder of her troops including a distraught Thayla.  She returns, blaming the “delay” on having to quickly administer an antidote before the battle.

 

            Episode 9

• Eventually, the restaurant will be firebombed by a lone radical trying to force, but rebuilt with not only the platoon's help, but the citizen’s militia.  The beginning of acceptance by all parties of each other.

• The Citizen’s Brigade forces Dana’s forces to stop investigating the firebombing.  They don’t trust her to make a fair decision, and they want the underground taken out as well.  They’ve hurt Gafana’s people, and need to come to justice.

• Dana realizes she needs Thayla as a symbol that Gafana’s protectors have a native son near the top.  She asks him to stay until things settle down.

 

            Episode 10

 

Act III – The Faint Rumblings of Something Greater

            Episode 11

• Several years in, she's become, if not friendly by the natives, shakily respected by the natives. They all call her Tarhee, though, which she still thinks is a military rank.

• She has made a few friends among the populace, usually merchants who have seen her often, and have treated her well for her and her platoon's money, and, eventually, gotten to know her. They have suffered a bit for it, losing clientele when she comes in (though less and less as time goes by). Friends she has made, however, often lose other friends. Even her friends call her "Tarhee."

•The underground has mostly been targeted and locked away, however one of the leaders who wormed out of a guilty verdict joins the citizen’s brigade to cause trouble. 

            Episode 12

            Episode 13

            Episode 14

            Episode 15

 

Act IV – Exclave

Episode 16

• Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the Zakiri Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!" The war is not going as well for the Zakiri, and with Thayla's reports backing up without as much feedback as the war effort gets more intense

• Thayla prepares to go back on the front lines as the war is starting to need troops.  He has trouble getting out to them though as the resources to get him out of Gafana are all being used in the Eastern Front.

 

            Episode 17

            Episode 18

• The last package they recieve from the Zakiri Defence Directorate contains nearly six months of antidote, as well as three synthesis machines for making it. Thayla is the first one to realize what this means: "We're on our own."

 

            Episode 19

            Episode 20

 

Act V- Voices of Authority

            Episode 21

            Episode 22

            Episode 23

• A RINC army is slowly closing in on Gafana, and news gets back to the town. Many of the RINC POWs are happy to hear this, but the Zakiri soldiers are not as they think they'll be made into POWs. At the same time, State 3 is encroaching on the city with a large force. While the platoon and citizen's bridage are large enough to repulse one force, they cannot do both forces, should the RINCs try to take the city.

• The State 3 force is one day away. Dana sends scouts to check out their numbers, and, as predicted, it's the largest sent, but with the help of the citizen brigades and Dana's forces, they could hold them off. But in her logic, she realizes that even if they defeat the forces, they would come back with a larger force they couldn't handle. She would need something to scare them off permanently.

• She walks the hallways of the barracks, listening to the laughs and jibes of the soldiers, both Zakiri and RINC, finally meshed together as a fighting whole. And then she finds a soldier alone. He's writing a letter to his family back in the RINC. She stops and talks with him a while, and realizes he has written a letter every day of his time in Gafana, but not mailed it (he doesn't know if it will ever get there). This gives her an idea.

• She rummages through the barracks, and finds a RINC uniform from a previously captured soldier which fits the man. She dusts it off, cleans it up, but puts Zakiri rank markers and insignia on it. She quickly writes a note to the head of the RINC army headed her way, informing them of RINC POWs in Gafana, and a number of “sympathetic” Zakiri. She then tells the messenger to rewrite it, as he's more of a wordsmith than she is (the diary is huge, the letters could make up their own book). Once done, she rewrites it again, adds a few code phrases and signals. She hands the letter to the soldier and tells him to meet the RINC army head on. When he gets there, ask for "Messenger's Privilidge." This is an international “law” that would allow him to deliver Dana's message to the head of the RINC legion coming to Gafana, and be released without fear of capture. She also suggests he takes his letters to be posted.

 

            Episode 24

• The mood is tense in the barracks, the Zakiri are not looking forward to the RINC army coming and they are prepared (and very willling) to fight. The RINC POWs, including Dana are worried that, even though they were told they would never have to fight their own brothers, they may need to do so if they come under fire. Some of the Zakiri and RINCs push hard to flee Gafana and regroup elsewhere when they decide what to do about the double onslaught.

• The messenger returns with a note and a package. She opens the package, and inside are uniforms and insignia for the RINC army. She looks at the note, and neither smiles, nor frowns, but shows grim determination, and perhaps a bit of dissapointment.  She spends most of the night contemplating the future of Gafana when it comes to her:

• She addresses the troops, both the platoon, and citizen’s brigade. They are not a Zakiri Force. They are not a RINC platoon. They are a Gafana Platoon, and they are there to protect the city. She convinces the Zakiri soldiers to stay - she needs them to defend the city and she will do everything she can to keep you free. She convinces the RINC soldiers to stay - we will not fight the RINCs unless absolutely necessary, and only in defense of the city from desctruction. There are very few desertions before the impending fight.

• The State 3 assault comes. The Gafana Army shows up, many are wearing the packaged RINC jackets over their Zakiri uniforms, and vice versa. Dana is wearing her Zakiri uniform, with RINC insignia, in pristine and military regulation for the first time in the whole story.

• Casualties are massive on both sides, but in the end the State 3 army backs off...but doesn't retreat. Instead, another small force comes in, relief for the first force. Dana had no idea this was coming, but she's not worried, as over the hills come the RINC forces. And they are massive. The Zakiri bid a hasty retreat back to their territory without a second shot fired: They're overwhelmed, and know better than to fight a losing battle.

• The army marches closer to the city. The Gafana military and Citizen’s Brigade wait at the border. Dana and Thayla walk out, exposed and weaponless, towards the army, and stops halfway. The approaching RINC forces pause. She shouts "I am Tarhee Dana Medina, of the free city of Gafana." Thayla wearing a RINC uniform with Zakiri markings continues:"We welcome peaceful visitors to our city, with open arms. Make no trouble here, and you shall have no trouble." The RINC soldiers just pause, look at each other and try to figure out what the hell just happened.

 

            Episode 25

• Dana had banked everything on this, hoping the approaching RINC army would provide the scare tactics to help keep the State 3 army away, just by showing up. Had the RINCs decided to attack the city, or killed her/Thayla during their declaration...she had no follow up plans.  It was a Hail Mary pass.

• The RINC army has camped just out of town. Dana enters the Captain's tent, the one who heads the RINC Army that marched on Gafana. She is still in a Zakiri uniform with RINC markings. He calls her Lieutenant recognizing her rank, but admonishes her for wearing a Zakiri uniform. He expects a salute, but she gives none, standing-at-ease. She's respecting him as a fellow military person, but not as a commanding officer.

• He tells her he recieved her message, and was not suprised to see her impressed into servince in Gafana. This is the third border city they had come across with impressed RINC commanders. But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.

• He had sent along the uniforms, expecting the RINC POWs would immediately report to him in them for debriefing. Instead only a few did and reupped with his army. Dana: "They take commands from me, sir. I told them they could report back if they wanted to." "You take commands from ME." "With all due respect, sir, I have not taken orders from either the RINC or Zakiri chain of command for some time. We are the free city of Gafana. We are not just RINC or Zakiri, we are BOTH RINC and Zakiri."

• The Captain is dissapointed. "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances, but what you’re saying could be considered desertion." "Then you'll have my resignation in the morning."

• The Captain dismisses her, but she does not leave, again, not recognizing his ability to command her. "How long will you be staying in Gafana, Captain?" "We need to resupply, and our soldiers could use a bit of R-and-R. A few days, maybe a week to reestablish the supply line.”  He pauses, finally realizing he is no longer dealing with a soldier, but dealing with a politician.  “We aren't at war with Gafana, are we, _Tarhee_ Medina?" "Everyone is welcome here, Captain. And, frankly, we could use the company."

• She leaves, but not before the Captain stops her. "Until your resignation is on my desk, I'm still your commanding officer. I have one last order for you." She turns, kind of surprised he'd pull rank on her, despite her intentions to prove she's independent of his command. "Get a haircut. Those braids aren't regulation." She smiles "I'll think about it."

• The captain recognizes the autonomy of Gafana, but cannot guarantee that RINC will. For the time being, though, they're at the very least, friendly. Thayla becomes the first mayor, and de-factor leader, for the city of Gafana. The State 3 raids still occur, but at a much lower, smaller rate. Dana remains his military adviser and liason to the RINC forces occupying the area.

• Dana takes over as mayor/leader, as Thayla retires and full diplomatic ties start with the survivors of the RINC/Zakiri war. In her last scene, she pulls aside her blouse revealing a pump and inserts an antidote cartdridge in it as if it was nothing. It, and Gafanna, have become part of her life.

 

Voices of Authority (022) - Story Notes - 1104.191722

Rename Thayla to Tilahun. Ethiopian name for "Guard" or "Shadow," which is approriate and close enough to Thayla to work. Maybe Thayla as Grimm Shifted name?

Braids are not actually military regulation (spoilers!). We should see others in the RINC world wearing them. Many males and females wearing them in the bar. In the Two Generals story, perhaps show a civilian advisor wearing them advising them on key points in the area. Something so we see the braids conspicuously before Dana actually gets them.

Dana should not have the braids until perhaps the end end of the second episode. She's finally settled into town, and has her own officer's quarters. She sits down and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Noticing the decidedly Zakiri tattoo, she decides to wear the decidedly RINC braids.

New character: Kelile (Ethiopian for "Protector")
Kelile was a menber of the "Gafana Underground" and anti-RINC force trying to remove Dana and her RINC soldiers from Gafana. While the underground gets quickly taken out, he dodges a guilty verdict and becomes a very loud and eventually prominent member of the Citizen's Brigade. He's a true patriot with a heart of gold plated lead. He's very much on making Gafana a livable place for all Zakiri, but is not above being underhanded about it, or use the letter of the law to defeat the spirit.

His thread will be going from a misguided underground fighter to a leading member of the city. The Civilian Branch of a three tiered system, with Dana as the Military Branch and Thayla/Tilahun as an over-arching "city-state" leader directing the two.

Voices of Authority (023) - Story Notes - 1104.2013

*The Citizen's Brigade should start out as a loose network of people, maybe former police forces, who have attempted to defend the town from State 3 themselves. They are a disorganized militia of "minutemen." Eventually they should be organized into an unofficial police force. Gafana natives protecting Gafana.

*Eventually Dana's troops will go from being a de-facto army-acting-as-police force, to an over all "Nation State Army." The Citizen Brigades keeps the peace for the town, the army keeps the peace for the area.

*The Underground should begin as perhaps a black market for medical goods. Hastily assembled under the emergency of the war and State 3 incursionsL. They're doing good work, for good reasons, in the wrong way. And they don't like outsiders coming in and ordering people around. Eventually, the underground will collapse as they lose perspective, and focus on getting Dana and the RINC troops OUT instead of serving Gafana.

*Kelile will be a member of the Underground. Whilehe's not as gung-ho as some members, he still pretty radicalized, and smart enough to keep his hands clean. When he dodges a guilty verdict when the Underground is shut down, he joins the citizen's brigade as a higher up. His zeal makes him a leader, and he does go head to head with Dana. But eventually, finally getting to know her, and work with her, and how she's put aside her patriotism for humanity, working with the people of Gafana, he warms up to her, eventually working along side as the civilian arm the new government.

Voices of Authority (024) - Story Notes - 1104.201707

The war is not won by anyone. It's like a wildfire: One match, lots of dry wood, the war burns, and when it's out of fuel, fades out. No winner, no losers, but lots and lots of change. Maybe the extinction, or fragmentation, of the nation states?

Voices of Authority (025) - Story Conference Notes - 1104.221815

+Dana's sense of alientation has been blunted over the rewrites, and needs to be punched up a bit.
++Food is unfamiliar, unnatural. Food that she does recognize is over spiced, and maybe even a bit unpleasant.
++Zakiri are genetically modified, some incredibly so. It feels unnatural, to her, and possibly even squicky. At the very least, Uncanny Valley.
++Her homeland has wide open spaces, Gefanna is a cliff town with almost no sky. She misses the Big Sky, and often goes up the cliff tops, to see the sky, and it makes her more homesick.
++Loss of contact with friends and family back home (cf. soldier who wrote a letter every day at the end of the story).
++Dana should try to organize a coup, but then realizes that there's no one to coup against as there's no real leader. Dana: "I could always kill the local defense director, and then wait for the RINC to come get me." Tilahun: "You don't seem to understand. YOU are the local defense director."
++What Defence Director Mulhare has done is actually against what most Zakiri would see as right: forcing her to take a position and poisoning her to maintain loyalty. It's very against Zakiri philosophy, but Dana doesn't know that, and Mulhare plays that up using tems she'd understand. However, she assumes the populace is all this hard-nosed. She's wrong, but the revelation should be done more as a good natured revelation to that poor misguided RINC. She's not in trouble or hated for it, but it leaves her feeling stupid.
+++Take this further. Acceptance into society allows the society to gently rib you and make fun of you jokingly. She does not take to that well. Have her realize that Tarhee/Kahadi means traitor earlier, and that the society has been using it as a nickname for her for some time.

+Have Dana realize she's thinking in the terms of nation states that don't exist in the Zakiri world. It's this realization that she CAN act on her own that allows her to consider independence when the communication with the Zakiri Central Conference is cut, and to do it when the RINC forces close in.

+Gefanna is a town on the Rio Grande, where the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge stands near Taos, New Mexico. The town is actually built into the gorge itself as a cliff city with many bridges spanning across, as well as up and down the cliff, in harmony with the ecology below.

+Dana is from Indiana. She misses the big skies of home. In Gefanna, which is mostly in a gorge, she sees very little sky, unless she goes "topside." A point of alienation.

+State 3 are the MEtroplex Zoners based out of Albuquerque, Denver and El Paso. They are making incursions into the Western border of the Zakiri Conference in order to take the Rio Grande as a water resource. Their probes into Gefanna are very successful. Successful enough for Mulhare to send Dana to Gefanna.
++PAzi: Their society evolved out of martial law, public-private cooperative organizations designed to hold back the collapse, often by completely obliterating many forms of civil liberties. The emotional distance of a bureaucracy with the self-interested, sociopathic detachment of the wealthy hyperelite, and the willingness to cross ethical lines to keep *order* of a government (a trait they do share with the RINCS, incidentally). That's what it's like at the *top*. But even the hyperelite are human beings with all that implies. And those below them? Are certainly so. Basically the reason the Zoners are antagonists is they don't recognize the Zakiri's legitimacy. To the RINCS, they're dangerous and worrying because they don't seem to give the impression they care too much about THEIR legitimacy either. The general Zoner view is that
their lifeway is going to be the long-term future of humanity; even the RINCS can't hold out forever, and the Zakiri aren't coherent enough to them to really seem like a way forward. If you ask a typical Zoner citizen what their impressions of the other two powers are, they have no serious grudge against the RINCS but consider them living on borrowed time, and not to be allowed to drag them down; they consider the Zakiri to be confused, sort of admirable in their adaptive willingness but
having sort of missed the point of doing so...Meat's not exactly a dead end, to the Zoners, but their long-term ideal IS very much to engineer a society that's no longer vulnerable to the weaknesses of organic life in a limited ecosystem. They'd rather scatter into the solar system, or hunker down where they are, and let the Earth recover from the impact of
humanity.

+The war between the RINCs and Zakiri are based on a mutual misunderstanding of each other's cultures, but explodes when the RINCs, seeing how tenuous the Zakiri control of terriroty between them and the Oklahoma and Kansas City RINC alined areas, try to acquire the area for more reliable trade routes.

+Zakiri have biotech. Their war machines are actually aware and hae personality akin to an animal. And children are encouraged to play with them, so that the biotech knows who they are defending. Dana does not understand this. Upon meeting Dana, they are aggresively curious about her, causing her some more discomfort.

+"RINCS probably does well-equipped and enhanced soldiers, supported by light drones and more traditional aircraft/armor/artillery."

+"The Zoner military units are...something else. Heavily cyberized humans (sometimes full-body replacement), sometimes with bioroids and VERY smart drones, in a variety of tactical roles, all networked and sharing experiences via teamware. [...] A unit is a low-grade collective mind."
++Zakiri Ekranoplane: On the ground and walking, it'll be about hip-high to an adult. The fuselage is pulled together during flight, but when landed it sort of extends sort of...arms, a neck and waist; the back half closes off the engine valves and retracts the most sensitive control surfaces; the front half splits off and then extends the sensor-rich "head", which can look around; the wings and primary thrusters close off and the whole wing subassembly rotates 90 degrees and pulls the wings up close. The middle and engine pods extend little legs, and it walks around kind of like a pterosaur. The feet can be free-rotating wheels or used as feet proper. They have fuel cells that can be recharged by feeding them alcohol or sugar; they refine pure hydrogen from part of the feed stock and deposit it in storage tanks, which the planes feed from eagerly before combat. They have an internal gun and then a few external hardpoints for various types of weapons. They're not armed when not on patrol. It's just a standard precaution -- the planes won't attack people they recognize, but they can be a bit intimidating for newcomers. One odd thing is the planes don't "hold a grudge" -- someone that they've fought who is then introduced to them will fairly quickly become tolerated. This is for safety purposes as well -- otherwise the planes might become aggressive with people in the town who don't treat them well. They're WAY too animal-like for Dana's comfort. Tech shouldn't have a mind of its own. Especially not a dumb one.

+The forces and people have agreed to have Dana work as their director. And they'll follow her as long as they feel she's working out. If she doesn't, they'll simply follow someone who gets results. However, Dana working with the army gets respect from them. But not quite trust. "We don't trust her to stay five minutes more than she has to, but a long as she's here, we're in good hands." A lot of the people distant to her are distance because she is distant to them.
++They will eventually trust and respect her, but she's still an outsider. A respected outsider.

+Pazi's description of the first battle:
++ Thayla comes to her and says that they've got an emergency. Their sensor network has been tripped; the enemy is advancing along the canyon
under cover.
Cut to the troops getting ready, and Dana at the lookout post, scanning for the opponent with her eyes shielded from the sunlight.
"I don't see anything..."
Thayla hands her a pair of complex looking binoculars. They're infrared viewers. She puts them to her face; the heat along the canyon walls is bright.
"Further down -- stop. Right there."
Cut to the two of them, binoculars at the ready, looking at the camera.
Cut to their visual frame. Something indistinct but much brighter than the background radiation is clinging to the canyon wall. Three more frames zoom in progressively --
10x, 20x, 50x, 100x. In the final frame, the outline of a multiped tank, walking sidways across the sheer cliff face, can be seen.
It's camoflagued, but it can't completely eliminate the heat or acoustic signatures of its passing.
The seismic and infrared detectors have pinpointed its location.
Thayla estimates it's a light troop carrier -- four marines, with support drones, plus the tank itself.
"That's all?"
"That's enough..."
Its position puts them in a serious predicament. It's expertly-placed to hide from a visual scan until it's close enough to fire on the
bridges.
While it is vulnerable to a fall, the tank is extremely well-secured and dislodging it will be difficult. Its defenses are quite able to
intercept incoming projectiles, at least explosive ones.
The tank is also quite capable of telling if they try something simple like pushing rocks or other debris on top of it from the far side.
A fall from too far will kill.
Even the Zoner tank.
The crew is probably rated to survive it (full-body replacement), but only maybe.
And the tank would still explode. >>
So they'd be at the mercy of the Zakiri.
For the Zakiri vehicles it's not even a question. The fall will kill.
And because the Zoners are reinforced structurally, they CAN do crazy things like have their tank leap from rock to rock.
Full-body replacement doesn't actually replace the brain, but it does *reinforce* it structurally, and put it in a nice shock-absorbing
casing.
The moves the Zoners can pull...well, even if the Zakiri vehicles could do it, the crews would still wind up pulverized by the g-forces.
Dana's best bet will be to get the tank to fight on level ground, or force it into the river somehow.
The gecko crawlers will probably fail.
Rapelling troops down the side in harnesses could work... but then you're sending infantry versus a damn tank.
If you can get it on the ground, the Condors can paste it. (Their heavy ground support aircraft, closest thing)

+Kahadi is the Gefanna word for "Traitor."

+Gefanna's demographics from Pazi: I'm guessing the proportions stack something like...Black (Various East African diaspora and some Black Americans), Latino, Native (those last two will likely blur a lot at the edges in terms of identities), White (a mix between white working class American-identifieds and hippie/progressive types who hooked up with the Zakiri during the Collapse), Mixed/Other, and Asian.
Religiously, it's a real hash. There's probably a VERY syncretic, non-denominational Christian Church that caters to the exceedingly varied population in that group, a mosque. The pagany/Newager and Native traditional religious groups won't be focusing on big buildings so much as important sites. I'm thinking that the New Age element has mutated into something a little different from what it looks like here. A bit more like the syncretic approach that the Metis have in Canada. A bit of old ways, a bit of New Age, a sprinkling of monotheist-inherited memes.

Voices of Authority (026) - Story Ideas - 1104.231020

+ Dana goes topside (on the surface, above the city and gorge) to enjoy the sky. She pulls out a small shortwave radio and tunes to the sound of slow methodical warbling tones, five in all repeating three times. The tones stop and and a mechanized voice comes out. "ATTENTION. ATTENTION. ATTENTION." She does not go into attention. "7974. 7974. 7974." She suddenly snaps to, reaching inside for her hiptop. The radio repeats the ATTENTION and 7974 call as she flips it open and pulls up a notepad app. "Agent 7974, ready." The radio releases a stream of coded numbers and which she types on the hiptop screen furiously. The code ends with "END. END. END." She begins furiously cycling through the apps looking for her decoder to uncode the message before she realizes: "Zakiri hiptops don't have RINC decoders." She's happy to hear it, though. It means the RINC forces know she's alive, somewhere. Or does it?
++ Dana should listens to these radio transmissions every so often. And feels they're calling out for her as a sort of tenuous one-way link from home. However, the transmissions to her cease as she cannot reply and the RINC forces consider her captured, defected or dead.
++ However, towards the end she suddenly begins hearing her agent number in the actual code (codes are transmitted in five digit numbers, but 7974 is four, making it conspicuous). She believes, as she hears her agent number more and more, that a RINC force is on it's way to Gefanna to rescue her (Assuming they think she's been captured)/ or capture her (assuming they think she's deserted/defected), prompting the endgame storyline.

+ She should use camping/scouting as an excuse for escape. She's going out, scouting the surrounding area for "weak points" the Zoners could use, when in fact, she's looking for a way out of the area. The camping allows her to actually begin appreciating the beauty of the place, while trying to escape.
++ She's from a large city in Indiana, and the sky there only has a few stars. Gefanna is mostly underground, and has few lights the penetrate out of the gorge, so the sky is gorgeously filled with stars. She often looks at the moon, and wonders if her friends are looking at that same moon. Sometimes, when she's absolutely sure no one is watching her, she asks it to send a message back to them that she misses her family.

Voices of Authority (027) - The Homesick Soldier - 1104.242338

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Voices of Authority (028) - Story Idea - 1104.261521

+Dana should initially isolate herself in her office, conducting most of the non-battle work in there. When in battle she leads and coordinates with the troops, but then retreats back to the office. Discipline begin to falter, and Tilahun mentions that her duty is to keep the troops morale up. She begins eating with the troops, and being a much more public figure to both Zakiri and RINC troops.

Voices of Authority (029) - "Twelve" character development notes - 1104.261858

+Gefana Defense Force Unit Kestrel-12, or "Twelve" as she's affectionately known, is a small recon/defensive drone. While mechanical looking, she contains biological features, including a brain, and a personality to go along with it. She has the intelligence and comprehension of a dog, albeit is able to report back acknowledgements and telemetery in preprogrammed language.
+She has a very friendly (but limited by her faculties) personality, and her handlers allow her to play with children (and adults are encouraged to as well) for bonding. She's also curious and inquisitive, and also knows and recognizes and remembers specific people after enough repeated exposure.
+Twelve has been programmed with reconnaisance, and defensive capabilities. She can also provide some offence, but her size makes her ordinance prohibitive (going after a specific person, perhaps, but going after a tank, that's a job for someone else).
+Twelve has been programmed to take orders from the handlers, and anyone above them (although the handlers have priority), including Dana. She also understands that Dana is at the top of that ladder. And therein lies the problem. Because she understands that Dana is the leader, and she's friendly, her brain has taken this to mean "Dana is important. Be friends with Dana. A whole lot."
+While biomechanical devices in the RINC army, they're not designed for any kind of socialization. Dana finds the idea of a self-thinking, personality-having warplane incredibly wierd, and even a bit worrisome (will it follow orders it doesn't want to?). On top of that, the idea of a friendly warplane is completely alien to her. She spends as little time with them as possible. And Twelve is having nothing of that. Twelve has almost impressed on Dana. When she's around, Twelve will only leave her side on a direct order, and often that's from Dana. She nudges and pokes Dana to remind her that "Twelve is right here, ready and willing to go!" Even when Dana orders her away, Twelve will usually be nearby watching from around the corner for the order to come back.
+And one day, when no one is looking, she gets the order. Dana has stopped thinking of Twelve as a thing, but as a curiousity. Dana orders her over to get a better look at her, and talks to her. Twelve, god bless her, bonds even stronger after this. Which is okay, because so has Dana.
+The relationship is rocky at first after this (but only for Dana, Twelve adores her). Dana at first only treats her well when no one is looking, but she warms up to the point that she visits her every day, and takes her out on "recon-outings" (which are really glorified camping trips). Her warming up to Twelve is a pretty blatant sign of her warming up to Gefanna in general.
+No ending for Twelve planned, however having her go down in battle and Dana's subsequent reaction ("When we're done, I don't want to see a single tree standing, two pieces of wood nailed together, or anything left alive in that camp.") would be good (but very cliche'd) narratives.

Voices of Authority (030) - Tilahun character development notes - 1104.271256

+Tilahun is what in Dana's terms would be a 2nd Lieutenant, and the secondary protagonist of the story. His thread is a blindly patriotic military soldier who becomes a more level headed politician.
+Tilahun grew up in Gefanna, and knows the area well. He's also fiercely loyal to Mulhare, the Defense Directorate for the area, and a patriot to the philosiphy of the Zakiri. It's his loyalty to Mulhare that got him this far, and Mulhare has total trust in him to follow orders to the letter.
+But it's his attatchement to the Zakiri anarchist philosophy that shows the first signs of a break in his patriotism, when Mulhare essentially forces Dana and poisons her to keep her there. The Zakiri don't use force, and while Mulhare's excuse rings true ("She's a RINC, she can't be ALLOWED a choice"), it also goes against everything he believes in. His loyalty to Mulhare wins out in the end.
+He's assigned to Dana as a minder, and her second in command, temporarily. His assignment is to help her mesh into the Gefanna Defence Force as a leader, and once done and sure of her abilities, to head back to the front.
+He is intensely loyal to the Zakiri, but also level headed. When Dana makes noises she plans to escape, he lets her. Not because she doesn't belong, but because he realizes she needs to try at least once, and fail to realize the futility of it all. He doesn't even report her. In his mind, her failure will ensure she does her job, and therefore he's okay with her trying once.
+He will be our view on the Zakiri world, he knows the city, the people. his admonishments and praises of Dana hint to us what is needed of her to succeed not just in her job, but in fitting in. It's also these explanation that makes him feel more and more the decision to keep Dana in Gefanna was wrong.
+While she outranks him, as her minder, he can disregard any order she gives if he feels it's unreasonable.
+He is just as trapped in Gefanna as Dana is. After he feels his time in Gefanna is over, Dana specifically asks for his help as she's now trying to fit in, but having problems. This keeps him in Gefanna for a bit longer, even though he's itching to go back. When he finally decides to leave, the resources are no longer available to send him to the front.
+Being stuck in Gefanna, and knowing he's stuck there, begins to transfer his patriotism, not just to the Zakiri in general, but specifically to his hometown of Gefanna. The more he fights for them, the more he helps Dana fit in, the longer he stays, the more he feels beholden to them and less to the Zakiri government.
+When communications with the Zakiri are cut off, Dana and Tilahun declare a manner of martial law in order to try an maintain the city on suddenly much more limited resources. Dana wants strict law until the situation clears, but it's Tilahun who says that it needs to be done where it won't impinge much on the local Zakiri philosophy. Tilahun declares a "softer" form of martial law, essentially becoming a de-facto mayor and spokesperson of the town. Between him, Dana and Kelile you have "Gefana" "Gefana's Defense" and "Gefana's People." His ultimate goal: Make Gefana self-sustainable and able to remain out of the Zakiri/RINC war (at least till the town is able to stand on it's own feet), at which point he'll step down.
+While this is always his plan in the later part of the story, the actual hurried decision to become independent is last minute, to avoid a RINC takeover the town at the end.
+Tilahun, as "spokesperson" is the one doing trade with other communities and tribes in the area. Kelile is somewhat underhanded and sleazy. One misstep and we lose a contact. Dana is military, and even if she negotiated in good faith, there's always the feeling that the negotiations are being done under the gun. Tilahun, as a native son, is the best suited.
+In the end, after several years, Gefanna does stand up on it's own, Tilahun stands down and returns to the Gefana Defense Forces, this time as Dana's equal, and not minder and subordinate.

Voices of Authority (031) - Tilahun character development notes revision - 1104.281117

+Returning as Dana's equal is nice, but a step down for the character. Consider making him a town hero, something akin to "Citizen Tilahun." Possibly a de-facto ambassador or "The Face of Gefanna" style politico who steps down honorably when he's no longer needed.

Voices of Authority (032) - Kelile character development notes - 1104.281645

+Kelile is a native of Gefanna, and a menber of the original Gefanna underground. His thread is going from being an underground rebel to a community leader.
+Kelile begins his story as a member of the Gefanna underground. As the war starts, luxury supplies begin to dry up, as well as war-supplies (medicines, weapons). The underground is what fills that hole.
+Kelile is a high rankingmember, but does not run the underground. But he's smart and crafty. He not only manages to make contacts, import supplies, but he brings with him a certain credibility to get things done. All in the name of keeping his town, and people safe.
+With Dana's arrival, he begins to turn the underground against against her. She's an invading RINC with authority she shouldn't have. She and her RINC buddies need to go. He begins to mount a small guerilla campaign that more annoys Dana than hurts her ("I'm here to protect the town from the Zoners, and these guys aren't helping.")
+That is until the restaurant the troops like to eat at on leave ("They're the only ones who let us order it less spicy...a little.") There's a lull in activity witht he Zoners, and she aims her attention at the underground.
+Kelile was responjsibile for the bomb blast, expecting the RINCs to over react and have a military crack down. He doesn't expect for the RINCs to help in the rebuilding and even see Dana specifically doing manual labor to rebuild. This is the beginning of his turn, although it's a slow and arduous one.
+The underground never quites does another attack of that scale. Kelile is still masterminding these, but he was haunted by the fact that he hurt civilians, and the people he meant to hurt ended up looking like heroes.
+Dana and the Citizen's Bridage catch and prosecute all the underground, however, Kelile finagles his way out of a guilty verdict by keeping his hands incredibly clean.
+Kelile eventually joins the Citizen's Brigade, with the intent to make it a slightly milder version of the underground - with the intent of driving out Dana and her troops...but instead, the Citizen's Brigade uses HIM. He has contacts that allow for supplies and agreements to go through behind the scenes. The CB consistently deflects his attempts at pushing Dana out (although his more pro-Gefanna ideas do tend to filter into the group). It's the joint efforts though that turn him, and he starts seeing Dana as someone who is genuinely trying to help the city (he saw her before as someone not interested, but doing a job, as she actually WAS back then)
+Eventually, he becomes trusted, not because he's sympathetic, but because he's patriotic. He won't harm Dana, because he won't harm Gefanna.
+Eventually, he becomes a representative of the people to Tilahun (just as Dana is a representative of the military).
+Skimpy development, needs serious filling out.

Voices of Authority (033) - Story notes 1105.0216

+No citizen's brigade at the beginning. Have Kelile make one to counter Dana and her "foreign intrusion" after escaping the underground. While it's mostly to vex Dana, it ends up being more against Tilahun.
+Have Kelile fight Dana for the first third of his story, then Tilahun for second third (citizen's brigade storyline), last third is suspicious cooperation.
+Dana should be very regimental. No fraternization with enlisted men. She doesn't realize thisisn't so much an army, but a cell, and her authority here doesn't come from rank, but from reputation and trust. She has to like these people to lead them, and they have to like her to be lead. Mulhare's authority only runs so long, as does Tilahun. Especially when Kelile begins his rival brigade.

Voices of Authority (034) - Story notes 1105.0316

+Model Gefanna's rise to power like the rise of individual cities in the Roman Third Century Crisis. They're not declaring independence, they're having it thrust on them by the breakdown in communications and travel.
+Make it unofficial til they absolutely have to, on the upcoming RINC battlefield. They don't want to take that step unless they absolutely have to, and it becomes a necessity. But in the end, they have what they need as they become more self-sufficient from less supplies and communication over the course of the war.
+Discuss with Pazi and/or Tess how this will play out since it may affect their stories as well.

Voices of Authority (035) - Story notes 1105.061623

+Make Dana somewhat like Captain Kirk. Not Shatneresque, but very much self confident that her way is the right way, her beliefs are the right ones, and she'll step in when something is wrong. But like Kirk, when proven wrong or presented with something outside her experience, she is open minded to change, even if she has to roll her eyes occasionally to do it.

Voices of Authority (036) - Story notes 1105.070243

+Dana recons a zoner camp nearby, which seems to be a focal point for recent operations against Gefanna. She sends twelve in for some intelligence on the camp, but Twelve is destroyed by an RPG. For a second, Dana betrays emotion, but gains her composure (or so were lead to believe). She gives and order: "Before sunset, I don't want to see a single blade of grass, a tree standing, or two pieces of wood nailed together. And after sunset, burn it all as a beacon that 'Enough is enough.'"
+True to their orders the camp is razed and burned. But Dana regrets her decision. She got emotional ("this is why we don't fratenize with the enlisteds!"). The attack has depleted her armory by a good chunk. Tilahun reports that the Zoners may see this is Gefannas first offensive strike and send an actual army to detroy them. And Kelile mentions supplies will be hard to come by now that bigger forces are in play and even friendly territories don't want want to get involved.
+She made a huge mistake, setting the Endgame into motion.

Voices of Authority (037) - Story outline 1105.071828 (HUGE rewrite)

Act I – The Homesick Soldier

Episode 1

• Scene starts in a "Terra Nullius" cross-border-bar on the RINCS/Zakiri border five years in the past. The mood is generally jovial, but there is tension in the air: people reading about worsening relations between the RINCS and Zakiri, the occasional raised voice when talking about it (usually cut off by a glance from one of the bouncers). A few people are wearing what will be the same cornrow style braids Dana is wearing. Enough to establish it's at the start of its fashion trend.
• At one of the tables is a Lieutenant from the RINCS army, holding an arm wrestling match in one hand, and drinking alcohol with the other hand. He seems to be playing with his opponent, laughing and pretending to lose, until he decides to put his opponent out of his misery and slams his arm on the table.
• Another Lieutenant, this one from the Zakiri, enters the bar. It gets deathly quiet, and the RINC Lieutenant puts down his drink to look him over. The bouncers tense up. Zakiri Lieutenant: "I hear a Rinker's been makin' trouble for some of my kin. I hear he thinks he's a Lieutenant." The RINC Lieutenant threateningly and a bit theatrically walks over to the table. "Pickin' on some out of towners." The RINC Lieutenant just looks at him: "Ain't my problem if you Zakis just can't make anyone stronger'n me." Zakiri Lieutenant: "I've been itchin' to start a fight with one of you Rinkers for a while now." RINC Lieutenant puts out his arm, begging for an arm wrestling match. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you've got."
• The two arm wrestle, and this time they're giving it their all. It's much more intense than when the Zakiri Lieutenant was playing with the last guy. In the end, the Zakiri Lieutenant loses. He immediately gets up, swiping his chair aside, insulted. The RINC Lieutenant does the same. They stare each other down. The bar is dead silent, people are looking for exits. The Zakiri Lieutenant removes his jacket, as if he's getting ready for fisticuffs...but instead hands it to the RINC Lieutenant: "Spoils of war."
• The two immediately break into smiles and get into a great big bear hug, the whole thing was just a show and it seems, despite the realistic tensions, the two are old and very good friends.
• They take a seat at a booth, and go over old times, where we learn the two grew up near the border cities, and were friends, divided by the quickly escalating conflict. We learn that there's been a slow cold war brewing for years now starting to boil over. Politicians brought up with haring about trumped up Zakiri bogeymen doing genetic engineering years ago, are now making policy based on those trumped up beliefs. Scared of the unknown, and unable to undermine the process, things are heating up into a war over ideology. The worst kind of war. The Zakiri talk about how their side is seeing the policies of the RINC as an excuse for empire building. They're wasteful with their resources. The tensions between the two begin to get heated before they both stop. "This is an argument for the politicans to debate about, not us. Let's have a drink."
• Later, both Lieutenants stumble out of the bar. The RINC Lieutenant begins to hand the jacket back to the Zakiri Lieutenant, who drunkenly stops him: "That's yours. You were the better man this time. Just give me a chance to win it back one day." This immediately sobers the mood between them. The next fight may be on the battlefield. RINC Lieutenant: "I hope that day never comes. But if it does..." Zakiri Lieutenant: "...then I hope you give me everything you've got, because I will." RINC Lieutenant: "And so will I." They give each other a big bear hug again, and go their seperate ways.
• Dana is a Lieutenant in the RINC Lieutenant's (now Colonel's), army, in charge of a small platoon of men. She is obviously being groomed to rise in the ranks, and he's taken a special interest in helping her up the chain of command. She looks up to him not just as commanding officer but mentor. Before a battle, the RINC Colonel puts a Zakiri Uniform Jacket. She asks why the RINC Colonel is wearing an army uniform from the Zakiri's army. He explains they were both friends at one time, had a friendly rivalry, and hopes that they still do. The RINC Colonel wears the uniform in battles as a mark of respect for Zakiri Colonel. Dana doesn’t quite understand – how were they friends, being Zakiri and RINC? He explains it was a long time ago, before things between the countries got bad. Our ideologies are different, but the people are still people, enemies or not. She grasps, but still doesn't quite understand: The enemy is the enemy. And won't the RINC army mind him wearing an enemy uniform? "We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind."
• A civilian from the town they're in is advising the two about the layout of the city and possible avenues of defense. She also wears the braids that we'll see on Dana, again, establishing it as a fashion.
• They go into battle, but it goes badly, and most of Dana's platoon is captured by the enemy.
• The Zakiri and RINC Colonels face each other on the battlefield, and after exchanging some stilted "wish we hadn't finally met this way" banter, remind each other of the promise to "give it their all" fight hand to hand in an epic hand-to-hand fight. As Dana and her platoon are carted away she sees the Zakiri Colonel kill the RINC Colonel, then remove his own hat in respect for a dead friend.

Episode 2

• Dana is processed into the prison, the Zakiri version of Guantanamo Bay, and essentially worked over and worn down for information over the course of a few months. She reveals nothing, or fabrications.
• One day, she's put in near solitary confinement. After a week, she is taken to a shower, cleaned up, given a fresh uniform from the RINC army, with full proper rank. She believes she is being released, but instead is taken directly to the Zakiri Defense Directorate for this region. Dana attempts to attack the Directorate, but is held back by Tilahun, a gigantic burley jarhead kind of man. He simply holds her back, but does not attack or harm her (other than the bruise of nearly crushing her upper arm to keep her from attacking the Directorate). The Directorate just wants to discuss a "matter of some importance."
• The directorate sets down a plate of food before her. She eyes them suspiciously, and refuses to take it. "You'd think after a month of prison rations, you'd want these. But I can see how this might look suspicious. Tilahun?" Tilahun picks up a slice of bread, and tears it into two. He presents the halves to Dana. "Take one." She does, and does not eat it. He takes the other and eats it, proving that, at least, that the bread will not kill her. She eats the other one. Tilahun continues to tear them in half, eating one, and waiting for Dana to eat the other before doing it again. Throughout the conversation, the bread, but not the rest of the dinner, is finished off between the two in this fashion.
• The Directorate makes his case: The war in the East is going well, but taking up much of their manpower. They need every able person they can fighting on the eastern front to ensure victory. This has, however, led to the Western Frontier being open. The town of Gafana has recently found large deposits of some [valuable somethings] that a third state on their Western Frontier wants. And they're known to simply take what they want, regardless of who actually owns it. With the war going well, but needing manpower, he cannot afford to send people to Gafana. But he can send her. "Patriots are not expendable, you are." He is willing to give her the equivalent rank and privilege in his army, the promise that she will not be sent to fight against her compatriots on the Eastern Front, to command a platoon of her handpicked officers from her country's POWs, and the Directorate's handpicked officers (who he can then order not to kill her, and reasonably expect the order to be obeyed) and maybe, just possibly, once the war is won, she will be sent back.
• "If you decide not to go to the Western Front, you will be executed this evening. The camp is being shut down in the next few weeks, and we're determining which assets to take with us, which to release, and which to...discard. If we release you, you will lead a platoon right back here. And you know too much about our situation on the West to keep you alive. Even If we moved you, you would do nothing but sit in a detention cell until the end of the war. I do hate to waste available resources."
• "But...if you decide to go to the Western frontier, you will not only have some limited freedom, so will your compatriots. And, should you bring down the camp population enough, we will see about keeping or releasing some of the 'assets' we planned to discard. Taking on this assignment, you would be responsible for the survival and possible repatriation of your people."
• Dana argues that she could simply kill whoever would be in the defence director in Gefanna. Mulhare responds: "You don't understand. YOU will be the defense director."
• "I need an assurance of your willingness to follow through with this plan. You and your compatriots will be poisoned with a poison that stays in your system. However, you will be given an antidote every week that keeps you alive." Tilahun silently, but unmistakably, reacts to this with a stern look at Mulhare.
• She agrees to the offer, not out of a sense of self preservation, but because her compatriots can't be released or saved if she is dead.
• He then offers her a glass of wine "to celebrate the arrangement." Dana does not drink it. The directorate insists. "There's no better way to celebrate an agreement with a glass of wine." She again does not drink. "I'd would take your wine. It contains your first dose of antidote." She then realizes that the dinner WAS actually poisoned. "Had you decided not to agree, we simply would not have given you your wine."
• Dana is taken out of the office back to her cell by a guard, with Tilahun staying behind: "You're purposely poisoning someone to keep them loyal? Or die? There wasn't much of a choice there." Mulhare: "She's a RINC enemy officer. She can't be allowed a choice." Tilahun: "Forcing someone to do your bidding unwillingly is against our philosophy." Mulhare: "I don't take any pleasure in what I'm doing - I'm doing this for our survival."
• Dana is immediately released from her cell, but heavily watched and guarded, observing the POWs and mentally singling out those she wants to go with her to Gafana. She meets with each one of them, gauging their attitudes, and willingness to leave the camp. She sells it by saying that escaping from a badly defended border town will be much easier than escaping from a heavily armed prison camp, and wins over many of her troops that way. Some don’t. They don’t want to be poisoned. They don’t want to protect Zakiri. Many consider what she’s doing as treason. Some respond violently attacking what they see as "a turncoat."
• Two days before being shipped out, she and her compatriots are shown how to use Zakiri equipment, which is much more conservative and slightly lower tech than what they’re used to. Most everything is a clamshell design, guns are small compact batons. At the end, they’re ushered into another room where a tattooist awaits. This comes as a surprise, as no one ever mentioned being "branded." It’s a necessity – the Zakiri facial tattoo markings are instant identifiers among the Zakiri. As they are now in Zakiri service, they must be tattooed. Many object, and some drop out. A few begin to drop out until Dana, who is incensed that she was not told this would happen on top of the poisoning, agrees to it. The Tattoo are a series of lines or markings under right eye that translate to: "Community Defender - Outsider – Trusted." In the end, the group boils down to people who are loyal to Dana, not so much loyal to the RINCs.
• Her first view of Gafana, she notices mountains in the distance where her homeland was flat. The whole town is in a gorge, built up the walls with brdges crossing over. It's breathtaking, until she realizes that she's here as a working prisoner.

Episode 3

• Gafana is much more remote and desolate than Dana expected. Zakiri territory is large, but far flung with little communication between borders.
• Gafana, while ethnically diverse, is populated by a slim majority of Ethiopian descendants. Dana is Mexican. Tilahun is Ethiopian descended, a native of Gafana.
• Dana wears a Zakiri military uniform, and purposely wears it sloppily (jacket open, sleeves rolled up). All rank insignia are from RINC's army, though, and are in pristine condition.
• Dana meets up with Kira (cf Pazi's story), a traveling maintenance woman, who is dropping off war machinery Mulhare has ordered for her new defense of the city. Kira discusses some of the bio-machinery's pros and cons, when they turn a corner, and Dana sees several of the Kestrel Class drones (small warbirds about the size of a large dog) playing with children. Several of the warbirds (Twelve included) notice her and flock towards her, studying her and a few (Twelve included) demanding "pettin's." Dana's told they have personalities and play with the populace to bond them to who they're protecting. Dana's worried they may disobey her, but Kira points out they can't, although they may complain about it. Eventually all the warbirds leave her be, except Twelve who stays by her side for the rest of the conversation,occasionally nuzzling and prodding her (making Dana very uncomfortable).
• At the end of her first day, she finally settles down for the night, looking into a mirror and seeing the tattoos placed on her cheek. She gives a look of anger, then sadness at how she has something distinctly Zakiri on her cheek. She begins pulling at her hair, seperating it into braids.
• Tilahun walks through the officer barracks and notices Dana's light is on. Tilahun knocks and walks into her room, seeing her at a mirror by her bed. Much of her hair is in small tight braids, but not completely. She's threading the braids by hand. She turns to Tilahun. Dana asks if he had anything to report, and it's an "all is well" kind of report. Dana (who officially outranks him) dismisses him. He hesitates (he is her minder and attaché and can, if he believes necessary, overrule her). Dana asks him while still braiding "What's on your mind, Tilahun?" Tilahun: "Why are you braiding your hair like that? It's not regulation." Dana: "It is in my army. We're a hundred miles from nowhere. I don’t think they’ll mind." Tilahun: "It must take some time to braid those. Time better spent." Dana: "It's a bit of a fad back home. We have small little tools that make the braiding faster." Tilahun: "That doesn't explain the why." Dana: "The answer to that is: Because I want to. Because I miss home, and this is how I can remember it."
• Tilahun segues into his next though: "You miss your home, yet you serve here. I would not have served with you. I would have died rather than serve in your army, betraying my homeland." Dana (not taking the bait): "I took this assignment because there were more choices I could take by serving here" She looks Tilahun over: "I may be a dog on a leash right now, but it's a very thin long leash. I can still mostly choose the direction I want to go in. You, however, wear short chains. Your lead is directed totally by your master, and that chain will probably never break. My leash could break at any time. Sooner than later, I’m hoping." Tilahun queues in on this remark – she’s going to try to escape.

Episode 4

• Inevitable first escape attempt, fails when antidote is not administered when she and a few trusted men go on the run (She plans to report, come back, and free the rest). She begins feeling weak, breathing heavy, headachey. Eventually the heavy breathing becomes a gasping. The poison essentially stops her body from receiving oxygen without the antidote. While it doesn’t kill right away, she quickly becomes disoriented, faints from the slowly dimishing oxygen in her system, and, begins to completely starve of oxygen. Tilahun, knowing that she would escape, but knowing she would need to understand how quickly she would become incapacitated, finds her and returns her to town. She is nursed back to health but not punished or incarcerated: "Hopefully, your experience in the wilderness will convince you not to try again. You're place is in Gafana." "My prison is Gafana." "You are the PROTECTOR of Gafana."
• It's her resignation to living in Gafana that opens her eyes to Gafana.
• Most of the townfolk initially hate Dana as she is one of "The Enemy RINC." She is sometimes referred to as "Kahadi Dana." She assumes it's the military rank from the tattoo on her cheek.
• Dana at first does not go off camp, spending as much time in her office coordinating the move (which is just an excuse), once that's done she begins working on drilling regimes, trying to integrate the two sides of her platoons into one (again, just an excuse).
• She meets up with a loose group called The Citizen's Brigade. They're essentially a few minute men providing small arms defense of the town. They're the ones who begged Mulhare for reinforcements, but are unhappy that a RINC officer is heading the attatchment he sent. It's through them that Dana hears the first rumblings that a small raid is coming.
• The raid occurs, and she dispatches her troops. They're excellent at their job (when the RINC and Zakiri are mostly separated, merging together, the styles clash a bit), but repulsing the raid is a bit of a disaster. They’ve successfully repulsed them, but were unfamiliar with the area as well as the Citizen's Bridgade were, since her forces only studied the maps. It took much longer to repulse the Zoner's force than she expected, and there was damage to the city. While this loses a bit of what little respect the townspeople have in their new defenders, the troops are heavily involved in the rebuilding of the city, starting a slow turnaround of the city’s confidence in their defenders.
•Tilahun comes to her and says that they've got an emergency. Their sensor network has been tripped; the enemy is advancing along the canyon under cover.
•Cut to the troops getting ready, and Dana at the lookout post, scanning for the opponent with her eyes shielded from the sunlight.
•"I don't see anything..."
•Tilahun hands her a pair of complex looking binoculars. They're infrared viewers. She puts them to her face; the heat along the canyon walls is bright.
•"Further down -- stop. Right there."
•Cut to the two of them, binoculars at the ready, looking at the camera.
•Cut to their visual frame. Something indistinct but much brighter than the background radiation is clinging to the canyon wall. Three more frames zoom in progressively --
•10x, 20x, 50x, 100x. In the final frame, the outline of a multiped tank, walking sidways across the sheer cliff face, can be seen.
•It's camoflagued, but it can't completely eliminate the heat or acoustic signatures of its passing.
•The seismic and infrared detectors have pinpointed its location.
•Tilahun estimates it's a light troop carrier -- four marines, with support drones, plus the tank itself.
•"That's all?"
•"That's enough..."
• A lower member of the brigade, Kelile, who is also a member of the Gefanna underground, however is unconvinced, and begins realizing he must not only defend Gefanna from the Zoners, but from the RINCs in the heart of the city. He brings this up to the Citizen's Brigade leader, retorts: We don't trust her to stay five minutes more than she has to, but a long as she's here, we're in good hands."

Episode 5

• Gafanna is populated by remnants of Ethiopian Americans, and much of the culture and food comes from that.
• Dana has been isolating herself in her office when not actively fighting battles. When she does leave, she almost never leaves the compound. Tilahun catches up with Dana on a walkaround the campus to talk with her about how morale is dropping because no one sees her. Dana seems not to care: "They'll follow my orders because of my rank." Tilahun: "And the Zakiri?" She has no answer, but immediately sees:
• A Zakiri "Officer" begins boasting to a RINC "Enlisted" jokingly about how the RINCs with their delicate mouths, couldn't handle the cuisine around here. The Enlisted man tries not to notice, since in his army, he's not allowed to fraternize with the officers, but after a while, takes the Zakiri on. Dana, thinking this is the morale/discipline issue Tilahun is talking about, complains that, yes, maybe she has been lax. "Officers don't fraternize with the enlisteds." Tilahun replies: "We're not an army, 'Liuetenant.' We're volunteers. Volunteers need to have faith and trust in their leaders in order to do what needs to be done." Dana shoots him a look: "Some of us were volunteers." The point is made, though, and Dana realizes she's not heading an army, but leading a team.
• That same Zakiri soldier decides to haze the RINC soldier, by taking him out to eat at a restaurant nearby. The food of the local culture is incredibly spicy and definiantely not something you'd think the RINCs would eat. They're hoping to make the RINC soldier sick. Instead, the RINC soldier happily eats it down. His family have Ethiopian Roots, and he hasn't had good food like this in some time. The Zakiri soldier is flabbergasted, and then realizes he may have misjudged this RINC. He didn't realize the RINC might actually like this, much less grown up with it. It's the beginning of the first real friendship between the RINC and Zakiri soldiers.
• Dana, tired of rations, hears about the restaurant, and goes alone. However her RINC-style braided hair makes her much more obvious than the other RINC solder, and she does not have a jovial Zakiri with her to cut the tension. The restaurant serves her, the food is good and well made (no one's done anything vile to it because of her), but the patrons are cold and some leave. Zakiri eat with chopsticks when they're not eating with their hands, not forks, and she has issues trying to use them, making her predicament a bit more obvious. It’s not a very good time for Dana, although, in the end, the food does lift her spirits as the rations are rather boring.
• When eating native Gafana food, Dana will not be familiar with eating with her hands or scooping with bread. Zakiri foods are tailored to the general culture of the city (in this case Ethiopian), one part "old style kind of food" (modified meat, chicken, rice...something we'd recognize but in an odd way), and bizzare (genetically modified bullfrog meat, anyone?)
• Primary grains are teff and amaranth, which she is not used to. Not used to getting rice or some other grain with every meal. Food is mostly eaten with the hands, bread or chopsticks, all alien to Dana. Flatware is incredibly uncommon, because it's just not part of this culture, and can be obtained if one looks hard enough for it. Foods she thinks will be familiar aren't (due to different ingredients, or methods of cooking). Vegetables are unrecognizable to her, and much more served than she's used to. Meats tend to be what's available in the wild (frog, pheasant, goat, rabbit, bison, deep), and now what she's used to from home.
• She also finds it spicy as hell, and in some cases unpleasant.
• The restaurant will eventually become a place for many of the RINCs to go to. The owner is willing to pick up the RINC/Zakiri soldier's money, which more than makes up for the loss of some of the more intolerant Zakiris who leave. The owner even manages to find flatware for the RINCs to use. Dana and her troops eat with their left hands, which is considered bad manners in Gafana, but more on a "isn't it charmingly cute, they don't know how to eat correctly" kind of way, versus insulting. It's a way of showing that while they don't trust her, and she's an outsider, she's very human, and doesn't know how to get by easily in their world. Reactions will range from distrust to more "how DO you survive?" And it's not just one misguided girl, it's a whole LOT of them. And they need our help to survive. A way of humanizing and sympathizing with the new protectors.
• Dana, personally, begins to explore the city, to familiarize herself with it.
• While walking through the town, she is met by indifference, stares, even a grimace, but does get the occasional smile. The people, however, are genetically modified, some incredibly so. It feels very uncanny valley to her, and while she's trying to put on a nice face, she does let out an uncontrollable gasp at some of the more modified humans, especially as one startles her.
• Our last scene in this chapter, has her going "topside" above the chasm to the surface, sitting alone and watching the stars. She takes out a radio, and tunes to a specific frequency, tuning to the sound of slow methodical warbling tones, five in all repeating three times. The tones stop and and a mechanized voice comes out. "ATTENTION. ATTENTION. ATTENTION." She does not go into attention. "7974. 7974. 7974." She suddenly snaps to, reaching inside for her hiptop. The radio repeats the ATTENTION and 7974 call as she flips it open and pulls up a notepad app. "Agent 7974, ready." The radio releases a stream of coded numbers and which she types on the hiptop screen furiously. The code ends with "END. END. END." She begins furiously cycling through the apps looking for her decoder to uncode the message before she realizes: "Zakiri hiptops don't have RINC decoders."
• She looks up at the moon: "Maybe, somewhere, my brother is looking at you, too. Maybe he's thinking about me. Tell him I love him."

Act II – Life in Gafana

Episode 6

• She begins effectively protecting the town from skirmishes with State #3. They're more raids than skirmishes, and do not tax her troops much.
• She begins to familiarize herself with the town. As she grows to accept these people, she grows curious about them, and about the culture of the area, much different than hers. Imagine Ancient Roman Soldier depositied in Ancient China. Some people still hate her, but are tolerating her as she's protected the town. They’re unsure of her though: her marking show her as a trusted outsider, but her demeanor, uniform and insistence on the hair braids come across as "I’m going home AS SOON AS I CAN." Some of the more uneasy Zakiri begin banding into their own citizen’s militia, as they have little faith she will protect them for long. Two groups form, a citizen’s brigade to protect the city themselves, and an underground to remove Dana and her RINCs from the population.
• Dana visits the warplane "farm" watching the kids play with the warbirds. Two or three look up at her, and go back to playing with the children, however Twelve suttles right up immediately, and prods her for a petting. Up to now, anytime Twelve has come up to her, Dana has sent her away. This time, she looks into it's "eyes" trying to figure out what's behind them. Programming or mechanics? Both? She's proven herself in battle so that Dana has more confidence in her, but still feels wierded out by this bird that's doing it's best to be a friend to her. A little girl comes up to play with Twelve, and talks to Dana about how much fun it is to have someone to play with who will also protect her. All the while Twelve is doingit's best to play with both of them. Dana allows herself a moment with the little girl to play with the war machine.

Episode 7

• A Zakiri troop, whose brother was recently killed in action, decides to take revenge on Dana by stealing her ration of antidote and hoping no one can find it in time. Tilahun, knowing that this isn’t the only troop who has considered this, sends the trooper on a suicide mission. It’s a terrible decision, and Tilahun is not happy about it – but by doing it, he earns Dana’s respect (she did not expect him to save her over another fellow Zakiri). She recognizes Tilahun’s unhappiness at essentially executing a troop. Tilahun brushes it off as Dana being more important the troop, therefore more deserving of protection, but it rings hollow. She attempts to comfort him anyway: she's reminded of the RINC Colonel's word - we're people, no matter our ideology.  Any troops who may have considered killing Dana now know she is protected, and the consequences are harsh.

Episode 8

• Disillusioned by the recent attempt on her life, Dana attempts another escape, but this time heads back on her own as State #3 instigates a raid, and she realizes that she can't just leave the population underdefended with only the citizen’s militia, and the remainder of her troops including a distraught Tilahun. She returns, blaming the "delay" on having to quickly administer an antidote before the battle.

Episode 9

Episode 10

 

 

• At Kelile's insistence, the restaurant is firebombed. However, he's surprised to see that it gets rebuilt with not only the platoon's help, but the citizen’s militia. The beginning of acceptance by all parties of each other. Kelile is haunted by the civilians he's hurt, and the military who is helping them, because of his firebomb.

• The Citizen’s Brigade forces Dana’s forces to stop investigating the firebombing. They don’t trust her to make a fair decision, and they want the underground taken out as well. They’ve hurt Gafana’s people, and need to come to justice
• Dana realizes she needs Tilahun as a symbol that Gafana’s protectors have a native son near the top. She asks him to stay until things settle down.

 

 

Act III – The Faint Rumblings of Something Greater

Episode 11

• Several years in, she's become less of an intruder, and more of a distant, but friendly, outsider. Most joke and jibe her as a mark of acceptance, which she takes, but isn't happy about it. They all call her Kahadi, though, which she thinks is a military rank.
• She has made a few friends among the populace, usually merchants who have seen her often, and have treated her well for her and her platoon's money, and, eventually, gotten to know her. They have suffered a bit for it, losing clientele when she comes in (though less and less as time goes by). Friends she has made, however, often lose other friends. Even her friends call her "Kahadi."
• At the bistro, Dana has dinner with Kira (cf. Pazi's storyline), a traveling maintenance woman who is in town to work on the warplanes. The two have a friendly rivalry that has grown less antagonistic (but no less fun) over the years. Dana finally opens up enough to tell her what was done to keep her in Gefanna, and how she's come to sliking the people of Gefanna, she could never care for them if that was what they stand for. It's Kira who ribs her about how she doesn't know the people. "You've judged a very good book by one wrinkled and worn page. What happened to you is against the Zakiri philosophy. And not only did no one in this town specifically poison you, most would be shocked if they knew what had happened." Dana feels stupid for stereotyping all the Zakiri becuase of what's happened to her by one person.
• Dana: You're asking me to eat what?
• Kira: Come on. It's like mushrooms.
• Dana: ::looks at the plate:: You're joking with me. There's a bunch of you watching from behind a wall isn't there?
• Kira: Cross my heart. *folds up a bit and eats*
• Dana: ...
• Kira: See? Try it.
• Dana: Waiter? I'm going to need a glass of water. Biggest you can get.
• Kira: *bemused laughter*
• Dana: ::mutters:: "Even the water's spicy today...."
• Kira: You really are a fish out of water.
• Dana: ::hands Kira a plate of Migas (aka Egg and Brain):: I will if you will.
• Kira: Gosh, I'd love to but I'm vegetarian?...
• Dana: Waiter! A glass a water for my friend here. Biggest you can get."
• Kira: You're awful.
• You're welcome! ::eats a big heaping spoonful of migas::
• Kira: Gimme that.
• Kira: *tastes it&
• Kira: *goes pale*
• Dana: And...now...some...corn......smut......... ::chews...kinda...drinks a big glass of water::
• Dana: This meeting of the cross cultural cuisine club is dismissed...forever.
[ • Kira: *wipes mouth with napkin, not-so-secretively depositing the food, and downs the whole glass*
[ • Kira: Agreed. Waiter! I need a drink. And one for her.
•The underground has mostly been targeted and locked away, however Kelile worms out of a guilty verdict and rises in the citizen's brigade's ranks. He begins to cause trouble for Dana and Tilahun.

Episode 12

 

• Before Kira leaves, she also jokingly salutes "Kahadi" Dana. Dana salutes back, seriously, taking the name in stride. Kira notices she's serious: "You do know that Kahadi means 'Traitor,' right?" Dana goes blanche white.

 

Episode 13

 

• Kelile finds that most of his attempts to use the Citizen's Brigade to dive out Dana are deflected. He's praised for his good work, though, especially his intelligence and trading networks as part of the underground.

 

Episode 14

Episode 15

• She walks the hallways of the barracks, listening to the laughs and jibes of the soldiers, both Zakiri and RINC, finally meshed together as a fighting whole. And then she finds a soldier alone. He's writing a letter to his family back in the RINC. She stops and talks with him a while, and realizes he has written a letter every day of his time in Gafana, but not mailed it (he doesn't know if it will ever get there). This leads to a long talk, and a good reminisce for both of them. The officer and the grunt, fraternizing - while it's forbidden in RINC military culture, it's not in Zakiri. They've both adjusted to life here. At least military life.

Act IV – Exclave

Episode 16

• Dana notices that she is not recieving as many orders or reports from the Zakiri Government. The antidote rations are also starting to come in less frequently, although with more supplies in them...as if someone in the government seems distracted "Oh, I need to send this antidote out!" The war is not going as well for the Zakiri, and with Tilahun's reports backing up without as much feedback as the war effort gets more intense
• Tilahun prepares to go back on the front lines as the war is starting to need troops. He has trouble getting out to them though as the resources to get him out of Gafana are all being used in the Eastern Front.

Episode 17

 

• Tilahun specifically corners Kelile, tells him he knows about his complicity in firebombing the bistro and how he was a member of the underground. Kelile becomes defensive, but Tilahun tells him he doesn't care about what he's done, but what he can do. Kelile has a lot of contacts in the area from his days in the underground. Gefanna needs supplies and weapons. Help us get both, and we'll forget anything else you've done before today. Kelile agrees. Tilahun returns to Dana: "If you'd done that to him, he'd have probably fire bombed the place again."

 

Episode 18

• The last package they recieve from the Zakiri Defence Directorate contains nearly six months of antidote, as well as three synthesis machines for making it. Tilahun is the first one to realize what this means: "We're on our own."

Episode 19

 

• Dana and Tilahun are taking stock of their supplies and trying to figure out how long they could hold out alone in a siege. Dana can't figure out how to make supplies last, or make Gefanna self-sustaining for more than a few weeks without Zakiri supplies. She wants to declare martial law, mainly because she wants to enforce rationing and peacekeeping. Tilahun disagrees completely: "Declare martial law, and while some may follow it, you're going to chafe a lot of people's freedoms in the name of hoping we can live on our own." When Tilahun expresses an opinion about seeking outside non-Zakiri help, she mentions that could have ramifications to the Zakiri nation. It's Kelile who chimes in: "You're still thinking of us as a nation, we're not. We're an alliance. We can act on our own if we need to, and I really think we need to."

 

Episode 20

Act V- Voices of Authority

Episode 21

 

•Dana and a decent sized force has found a hidden camp (revealed by intelligence from Kelile) that seems to be a major operation for the Zoners in the area. She sends Twelve into recon the area. Twelve gets some fantastic info but is destroyed by an RPG. Dana yelps for a moment before regaining her compuser (or so we think). She turns to one of her most trusted men: "Adam. When you get through down there, I don't want a single blade of grass standing, two pieces of wood nailed together, or anything alive down there." The group begins an attack which is pretty much a holding action, until heavier forces come in, destroying the camp utterly.

•Kelile and Tilahun confront her about this. Tilahun mentions that the Zoner's may see this as Gefanna's first offensive attack, and while that will put an end to the probing attacks, it will end only because they're going to take us out with what they have. Kelile mentions that the attack took out some of the armory, but the independent areas around them are scared to trade with them, lest the Zoners trace it back to them. They're kinda screwed.

•Dana to Tilahun, silently, seriously and with a crapload of anger behind her measured voice: "This is why we don't fraternize with the enlisteds."

 

Episode 22

 

•Dana and Tilahun are topside again, with her radio. They tunes to a specific frequency, tuning to the sound of slow methodical warbling tones, five in all repeating three times. The tones stop and and a mechanized voice comes out. "ATTENTION. ATTENTION. ATTENTION." The coded signals play and spill out their undecodable numbers, except there are lots of mentions of "7974." The code ends with "END. END. END." She turns to Tilahun - this isn't a message FOR me, it's ABOUT me. And if they were just reporting that I was dead, I woudln't have gotten five different messages with "7974" in them over the last week. The RINC army is on it's way here, either to rescue me, or capture me.

 

Episode 23

• A RINC army is slowly closing in on Gafana, and news gets back to the town. Many of the RINC POWs are happy to hear this, but the Zakiri soldiers are not as they think they'll be made into POWs. At the same time, the Zoners are encroaching on the city with a large force. While the platoon and citizen's bridage are large enough to repulse one force, they cannot do both forces, should the RINCs try to take the city.
• The Zoners force is one day away. Dana sends scouts to check out their numbers, and, as predicted, it's the largest sent, but with the help of the citizen brigades and Dana's forces, they could hold them off. But in her logic, she realizes that even if they defeat the forces, they would come back with a larger force they couldn't handle. She would need something to scare them off permanently.
• She rummages through the barracks, and finds a RINC uniform from a previously captured soldier which fits the man. She dusts it off, cleans it up, but puts Zakiri rank markers and insignia on it. She quickly writes a note to the head of the RINC army headed her way, informing them of RINC POWs in Gafana, and a number of "sympathetic" Zakiri. She then tells the messenger to rewrite it, as he's more of a wordsmith than she is (the diary is huge, the letters could make up their own book). Once done, she rewrites it again, adds a few code phrases and signals. She hands the letter to the soldier and tells him to meet the RINC army head on. When he gets there, ask for "Messenger's Privilidge." This is an international "law" that would allow him to deliver Dana's message to the head of the RINC legion coming to Gafana, and be released without fear of capture. She also suggests he takes his letters to be posted.

Episode 24

• The mood is tense in the barracks, the Zakiri are not looking forward to the RINC army coming and they are prepared (and very willling) to fight. The RINC POWs, including Dana are worried that, even though they were told they would never have to fight their own brothers, they may need to do so if they come under fire. Some of the Zakiri and RINCs push hard to flee Gafana and regroup elsewhere when they decide what to do about the double onslaught.
• The messenger returns with a note and a package. She opens the package, and inside are uniforms and insignia for the RINC army. She looks at the note, and neither smiles, nor frowns, but shows grim determination, and perhaps a bit of dissapointment. She spends most of the night contemplating the future of Gafana when it comes to her:
• She addresses the troops, both the platoon, and citizen’s brigade. They are not a Zakiri Force. They are not a RINC platoon. They are a Gafana Platoon, and they are there to protect the city. She convinces the Zakiri soldiers to stay - she needs them to defend the city and she will do everything she can to keep you free. She convinces the RINC soldiers to stay - we will not fight the RINCs unless absolutely necessary, and only in defense of the city from desctruction. There are very few desertions before the impending fight.
• The Zoners assault comes. The Gafana Army shows up, many are wearing the packaged RINC jackets over their Zakiri uniforms, and vice versa. Dana is wearing her Zakiri uniform, with RINC insignia, in pristine and military regulation for the first time in the whole story.
• Casualties are massive on both sides, but in the end the Zoners army backs off...but doesn't retreat. Instead, another small force comes in, relief for the first force. Dana had no idea this was coming, but she's not worried, as over the hills come the RINC forces. And they are massive. The Zakiri bid a hasty retreat back to their territory without a second shot fired: They're overwhelmed, and know better than to fight a losing battle.
• The army marches closer to the city. The Gafana military and Citizen’s Brigade wait at the border. Dana, Kelile and Tilahun look at each other, take a quick moment to compose themselves, and walk out, exposed and weaponless, towards the army, stopping halfway. The approaching RINC forces pause. She shouts "I am Kahadi Dana Medina, of the free city of Gafana." Tilahun wearing a RINC uniform with Zakiri markings continues:"We welcome peaceful visitors to our city, with open arms. Make no trouble here, and you shall have no trouble." Kelile looks at the advance scout: "I know a great restaurant you're gonna love." The RINC soldiers just pause, look at each other and try to figure out what the hell just happened.

Episode 25

• Dana had banked everything on this, hoping the approaching RINC army would provide the scare tactics to help keep the Zoners army away, just by showing up. Had the RINCs decided to attack the city, or killed her/Tilahun during their declaration...she had no follow up plans. It was a Hail Mary pass.
• The RINC army has camped just out of town. Dana enters the Captain's tent, the one who heads the RINC Army that marched on Gafana. She is still in a Zakiri uniform with RINC markings. He calls her Lieutenant recognizing her rank, but admonishes her for wearing a Zakiri uniform. He expects a salute, but she gives none, standing-at-ease. She's respecting him as a fellow military person, but not as a commanding officer
• He tells her he recieved her message, and was not suprised to see her impressed into servince in Gafana. This is the third border city they had come across with impressed RINC commanders. But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.
• He had sent along the uniforms, expecting the RINC POWs would immediately report to him in them for debriefing. Instead only a few did and reupped with his army. Dana: "They take commands from me, sir. I told them they could report back if they wanted to." "You take commands from ME." "With all due respect, sir, I have not taken orders from either the RINC or Zakiri chain of command for some time. We are the free city of Gafana. We are not just RINC or Zakiri, we are BOTH RINC and Zakiri."
• The Captain is dissapointed. "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances, but what you’re saying could be considered desertion." "Then you'll have my resignation in the morning."
• The Captain dismisses her, but she does not leave, again, not recognizing his ability to command her. "How long will you be staying in Gafana, Captain?" "We need to resupply, and our soldiers could use a bit of R-and-R. A few days, maybe a week to reestablish the supply line." He pauses, finally realizing he is no longer dealing with a soldier, but dealing with a politician. "We aren't at war with Gafana, are we, _Kahadi_ Medina?" "Everyone is welcome here, Captain. And, frankly, we could use the company."
• She leaves, but not before the Captain stops her. "Until your resignation is on my desk, I'm still your commanding officer. I have one last order for you." She turns, kind of surprised he'd pull rank on her, despite her intentions to prove she's independent of his command. "Get a haircut. Those braids aren't regulation." She smiles "I'll think about it."
• The captain recognizes the autonomy of Gafana, but cannot guarantee that RINC will. For the time being, though, they're at the very least, friendly. Tilahun steps down as the crisis lessens, and things return mostly to normal. The Zoner raids still occur, but at a much lower, smaller rate. Dana remains the military adviser for Gefanna voluntarily, and also acts as liason to the RINC forces occupying the area (Tilahun being the Zakiri liason). They're both very insistent on Gefanna not being aligned in the RINC/Zakiri war, however. They'll both help anyone with a legitimate need.
• In her last scene, she pulls aside her blouse revealing a pump and inserts an antidote cartdridge in it as if it was nothing. It, and Gafanna, have become part of her life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Voices of Authority (038) - Outline Cleanup To-Do List 1105.081419

+Outline still references to a Zakiri Army with ranks and regiments. Remove, replace with a more militia or loosely based less disciplined army setup.

Voices of Authority (039) - Story Idea 1105.151720

+Sometime in the First Episode
++Dana meets with an undercover RINC operative who delivers intelligence on the Zakiri battle coming up, and how it's not expected to go well. She sends him back into the Zakiri militia, expecting either him to kill her to keep his cover, or her to rescue him, to save a valuable asset. In the end, we don't see him again during the episode.

+Sometime in Act II
++Dana is discussing possibly defensive lines when she hears a familiar voice talking to Kelile. She looks up and is surprised to see the undercover operative from earlier. He looks at her, and betrays only the very faintest glimmer of surprise. Dana, knowing he is a RINC operative, does her best to not draw attention.
+++Kelile: "Something wrong, [whateverhisnamewillbe]?" "No. Just thought I recognized someone."
+++Tilahun: "Something wrong, Lieutenant?" Dana: "Nothing. I just thought I saw a ghost."
++Dana attempts several times over the course of the act to get his attention, Kelile (wanting no part of Dana yet) keeps the operative away. She can't get to him easily without breaking his cover, he can't get to her easily without breaking his cover.
++Throughout the act as well, Dana is torn wether what he's doing may hurt Gefanna, and wether RINC will be hurt if she does nothing. He's also her ticket home, and she desperately wants to go home.
++When they finally meet at a citizen's brigade function for the operatives send off (he's contracting for some defensive earthworks and heading back to his company far away), surrounded by Gefanna folks, she cannot say anything to him, and he cannot say anything to each other. She introduces herself to him cordially, he does to her as well. And they never say another word to each other.
++Later that evening, she reaches into a shirt pocket and finds a piece of paper in there. Scrawled on it are the words "They'll know."  She knows the RINC will know she's here.  But as a prisoner?  Or as a traitor?

+Episode 22
++Dana and Tilahun are topside again, with her radio. They tunes to a specific frequency, tuning to the sound of slow methodical warbling tones, five in all repeating three times. The tones stop and and a mechanized voice comes out. "ATTENTION. ATTENTION. ATTENTION." The coded signals play and spill out their undecodable numbers, except there are lots of mentions of "7974." The code ends with "END. END. END." She turns to Tilahun - this isn't a message FOR me, it's ABOUT me. And if they were just reporting that I was dead, I woudln't have gotten five different messages with "7974" in them over the last week. The RINC army is on it's way here, remembering the note from the operative, either to rescue me, or capture me.

+Episode 25
++He tells her he recieved her message, and was not suprised to see her impressed into servince in Gafana. This is the third border city they had come across with impressed RINC commanders. But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.  Due to intelligence he'd recieved about the city, he was expecting her to be a turncoat, but after coming across the other impressed RINC commanders on the way to Gefanna, he's come to repatriate her.
++The Captain is dissapointed.
+++Captain: "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances, but what you’re saying could be considered desertion." Dana: "Then you'll have my resignation in the morning." Captain: "Defecting?" Dana: "Continuing my good work: Protecting.  You and the Zakiri may be at war with each other, Captain.  But Gefana isn't at war with anyone.  And we aim to keep it that way."

Voices of Authority (040) - Story Notes 1105.161648

+Unhappy with the current ending to Episode 25 now that the story is less about Dana and more about Tilahun/Dana/Kelile. Appears too much to be surrendering, or at least taking, RINC authority. Change to a more independent stance. PAge 1 rewrite of episode, editing doesn't seem to fix the issue.

Voices of Authority (041) - Episode 25 Rewrite 1105.240039

Episode 25

• Dana had banked everything on this, hoping the approaching RINC army would provide the scare tactics to help keep the Zoners army away, just by showing up. Had the RINCs decided to attack the city, or killed her/Tilahun during their declaration...she had no follow up plans. It was a Hail Mary pass.
• The RINC army has camped several miles out of town. Dana and Tilahun enters the Captain's tent, the one who heads the RINC forces that marched on Gafana.  Kelile is already in the tent, hasing out an agreement of some sort of agreement between the city and the captain for supplies.  The Captain calls her Lieutenant recognizing her rank, but admonishes her for being out of uniform. He expects a salute, but she gives none, standing-at-ease. She's respecting him as a fellow military person, but not as a commanding officer
• He tells her he recieved a message from an operative in the city, telling him of Dana's presence there as a deserter and a turncoat.  The army was on it's way to capture he until they came across two other cities with impressed commanders running defense for their city.  But this was the first that didn't up and surrender the minute the RINC army showed up, instead declaring itself a free city.
• He had sent along the uniforms, expecting the RINC POWs would immediately report to him in them for debriefing. Instead only a few did and reupped with his army. Dana: "They take commands from me, sir. I told them they could report back if they wanted to." "You take commands from ME." "With all due respect, sir, I have not taken orders from either the RINC or Zakiri chain of command for some time."
• The Captain is dissapointed. "You've done good work here, under terrible circumstances, but what you’re saying could be considered desertion and even treason.  Do you really want to come back home in chains?"
• Tilahun jumps in: "This isn't treason, Captain.  You're not at war with Gefanna, and you really don't want to be.  If our intelligence is right, you're not just a long way from home, but your supply lines are stretched incredibly thin  It's a miracle you've gotten this deep into our territory on what you have."
• Kelile: "We admit it, you're the stronger force here.  In a fight, we'd lose, especially after the last Zoner attack.  But if Dana decides to stay, and you let her stay, you get enough supplies to keep the peace here.  No munitions, no weapons, but you get food, supplies and our hospitality. 
• Tilahun: "If she decides to stay, and you take her by force, you will win.  But I can guarantee that there will be a lot less of you heading home.  And they'll be going home with empty stomachs and tired heads."
• The Captain looks at Dana, standing at-ease the whole time: "For someone with the fate of nations in her hands, you've been quiet...Lieutenant Medina.  Where do we go from here?"
• Dana looks at Kelile, his look back is of someone weighing the seriousness of her decision.  She looks at Tilahun.  His look is of a friend, worrying about the deicison she's going to make.  "Captain.  When I signed into the RINC army, it was to protect my friends, family and home.  My mission hasn't changed.  Where I'm doing it has.  I had few friends back home, one brother.  If you've made it this far into Zakiri territory, it means RINC is still going strong, and Indiana is safe.  You don't need me, anymore, Captain.  Gefanna needs me, now more than ever."
• The captain pulls out a file, a dossier on Dana, with many pictures, intelligence reports, and info on her.  He flips to the last page.  He writes on the last page "Missing, not found."
• In her last scene, Tilahun finds dana in her room, writing a letter to her brother.  Tilahun reports the RINC army will be pulling back in several days.  Kelile, and the Captain would like to meet at the Bistro for a dinner to seal Kelile's/Captain's deal for a mutual trading of supplies.  Dana says she'll be right there, and casually pulls aside her blouse revealing a pump and inserts an antidote cartdridge in it as if it was nothing. It, and Gafanna, have become part of her life.

Voices of Authority (042) - Story Notes 1105.140055

+USe Kira to show Dana's progress. HAve Dana aloof, Kira playful. Friends at end of first epsidoe. HAve her com back to show how much she's changed. ("You're part chlorophyll? FREAK"/"What lovely colors your back is today")

Voices of Authority (043) - Story Scenario based on Pazi's notes 1105.281012

Episode 17

• Tilahun specifically corners Kelile, tells him he knows about his complicity in firebombing the bistro and how he was a member of the underground. Kelile becomes defensive, but Tilahun tells him he doesn't care about what he's done, but what he can do. Kelile has a lot of contacts in the area from his days in the underground. Gefanna needs intelligence.  What's happened to the Central Conference? Find out what they're not telling us.  Help us get both, and we'll forget anything else you've done before today. Kelile agrees. Tilahun returns to Dana: "If you'd done that to him, he'd have probably fire bombed the place again."

Episode 18

• Kelile returns with information from the Central Conference.  The war isn't going well on the Eastern Front and the Central Defence Directorate has been moved to Oklahoma for protection.
• The last package they recieve from the Zakiri Defence Directorate contains nearly six months of antidote, as well as three synthesis machines for making it. Tilahun is the first one to realize what this means: "We're on our own."
• The Zoners appear to have info as well, as they launch a massive attack on the sity of Santa Fe, nearly obliterating it in one fell swoop.

Episode 19

• Dana takes in refugees and survivors from Santa Fe, as well as incorporating soldiers into her garrison.  Through them, they mention that the Zoners used a mass driver to inflict major damage to the city and that there's a major battle still waging down there for control of what remains.
• Dana and Tilahun are taking stock of their supplies and trying to figure out how long they could hold out alone in a siege. Dana can't figure out how to make supplies last, or make Gefanna self-sustaining for more than a few weeks without Zakiri supplies. She wants to declare martial law, mainly because she wants to enforce rationing and peacekeeping. Tilahun disagrees completely: "Declare martial law, and while some may follow it, you're going to chafe a lot of people's freedoms in the name of hoping we can live on our own." When Tilahun expresses an opinion about seeking outside non-Zakiri help, she mentions that could have ramifications to the Zakiri nation. It's Kelile who chimes in: "You're still thinking of us as a nation, we're not. We're an alliance. We can act on our own if we need to, and I really think we need to."
• Tilahun comes up with the idea of protecting trade between the various cities in the area, assuming they all come to Gefanna first.  Trade to and from the town would be protected from Zoners, and once in Gefanna, Gefanna itself can buy and trade from those self same merchants.  As well as gather more intelligence on what's going on out there.
• Dana begins coordinating the battle in Santa Fe from Gefanna, due to the loss of the leader there in the first blast.

Episode 20

• The trade system seems to be working, and Gefanna is making small trades and getting supplies through the new network they've created.  A refugee caravan comes in from Roswell, they saw the payload from the mass driver coming in from the Southeast.  El Paso/Juarez Zoner Territory.  Dana begins plans to take the driver out before it can be used on anyone else.

Act V- Voices of Authority

Episode 21 

• Dana coordinates a massive attack on El Paso.Juarex, attempting to take out the mass driver.  She sends Twelve into recon the area after indications that the mass driver has been taken out. Twelve confirms that it is destroyed, but is itself destroyed by an RPG. Dana freezes, losing her concentration in a moment of grief.  No orders are going out for several seconds, while reports play over loadspeakers of reinforcements coming into the Juarez Area.  Kira (coordinating the kestrels) is the one to snap her out of it.
• She turns to Kira: "We'll need to split their forces - send the condors into Holoman AFB in Alamogordo, take out the base.  And when you get through down there, I don't want a single blade of grass standing, two pieces of wood nailed together, or anything alive down there."
• The Condors begins an attack which is pretty much a diversionary action, until the forces in Juarez can get out of the area.  She looks over video of the base, and sees a large ammo/fuel complex on one side of the city.  "Direct our forces to taking that complex out." Kira interrupts: "There's going to be heavy damage if we take that out, maybe even civilian." Dana: "There's going to be a lot more deaths of our men if we don't.  Take it out."  Kira, begins to interrupt that the civilian damage might be extreme. Dana: "Commander, either do it, or get me someone who will."  (CHECK WITH PAZI OVER WETHER KIRA WOULD OR WOULD NOT DO THIS).  The complex gets attacked, obliterating much of the base, but taking out a a small bit of civilian city.  There's a moment of silence as what happens settles in, and then coordinating the Juarez operation continues.  Kira is the only one who notices that Dana has a very light smirk on her face.
• The operation is a success and the drop team in Juarez is on it's way back.  Kira confronts Dana about the ammo complex.  Dana attempts rationalize what was done as necessary (That fuel and ammuntion would be used against us), but Kira smacks her down (what you did could have been done differently...what you did was intentional).  (CHECK WITH PAZI OVER WETHER THE RELATIONSHIP WOULD SURVIVE THIS).
• Kelile and Tilahun also confront her about this. Tilahun mentions that the Zoner's may see the attack on Holoman AFB as Gefanna's first real offensive attack, and while that will put an end to the probing attacks, it will end only because they're going to take us out with what they have. Kelile mentions that the attack took out some of the armory, but the independent areas around them might become scared to trade with them, lest the Zoners trace it back to them. We can't depend on supplied from them to keep us safe.  Kira: Thanks, Dana.  We're kinda screwed.
•Dana to Tilahun, silently, seriously and with a crapload of anger behind her measured voice: "This is why we don't fraternize with the enlisteds."

NOTES:

Use rest of Act to repair Kira/Dana relationship (if repairable).
Perhaps get RINC to fight in the firefight at the end, as the Zoners will seriously up the ante after the Juarez/Alamogordo attack.

Voices of Authority (044) - Story Ideas 1106.051446

+Rewrite opening battle: Battle begins but is a terrible loss for the RINC forces who are low on ammo and manpower. The battle ends, and the forces break up and escape. They're then captured by the Zakiri forces and returned as prisoners.

+Dana is a Lieutenant (field promotion), but is in charge of a seargeant's size squad. She's being field groomed for taking on a larger command when she's captured. When she is forced into the Zakiri army, she's given an equivalent promotion to Major.

+ Story revolving from Twelve's point of view. Make her fully cognizant to us, relating her internal monologue, but unable to tell what's going on around her that isn't a direct order. Make it a lighthearted fun episode revolving some very dire situations? We see something ugly happening, but Twelve can only grasp the very basics.

+ Kira as love interest to Dana. Kira has an open crush on Dana, who does not reciprocate. Kira's a die-hard-Zakiri bi optimist with a snarky attitude. Dana's a calm cool and conservative RINC who never considered that she might find another woman attractive. It'll never work. Ever. In a million years. Except it does.

+ Have Kira, Twelve and Dana do "recon." Aka camping. Nuclear family. Just before Alamogordo, give them a very happy moment before all hell breaks loose.

+ Twelve is destroyed, Dana's forces are under fire, she starts a diversionary tactic of attacking Alamogordo to split the Zoner forces. Dana orders the obliteration of the base by attacking an ammo dump there. Kira refuses because that may hurt civilians. Dana orders it, unless Kira can find another target, or a replacement who will fire on the dump. Kira, realizing there's no time, sends in condors to attack the dump. It's destroyed, the base is heavily damaged, resulting in air support being pulled from El Paso, to alamogordo. The attack does take out civilians, however, which hurts Kira. But what's worse is she sees Dana with a slight smirk (she's gotten revenge on twelve's destruction), and that crushes her.

Voices of Authority (045) - Dana Medina Character Writeup 1106.201410

Dana Medina

VITALS

Age at beginning: 28
Age at end: 33
Height: 168cm (5" 6')
Weight: 71kg (156 pounds)
Eyes: Green
Hair: Black, tighly braided in cornrows.

BACKGROUND

-=Pre Story=-
Tough-minded and determined, Dana Medina is the efficient second Lieutenant under Captain O'Shea, and eventual Zakiri Captain of the Gefanna Defence Forces. Among her many important duties in Gefanna is directing the combat operations that are vital to the defense of the city against the probing incursions of the Zoners.

Dana was born to a lower middle class family in Indianapolis in the RINC territory of Indiana. True to most people in her economic class, her family lived well, but struggled for most of it to make a good living for her and her brother, Edward. Seeing some of the sacrifices made cause Dana to become very protective of her family, and that protection extended to the those she met. While she had few friends, she came to identify with the city of Indianapolis and, caught up in the jingoist fervor of the RINC government, the RINC territories. Deciding that a career in the police force was not to her liking, she joined the army to protect her family, city, and nation. While she excelled in all areas of academics and training, she stayed at a distance from most fellow cadets and formed few, if any close relationships.

-=Act I=-
Once in the army she was singled out by Captain O'Shea as having the determination and tactical ability it would take to eventually replace him, but also, uncharacteristically for other Captains, her compassion for her friends and nation. Captain O'Shea, while one of the most successful commanders in the army, is considered soft as he is willing to work for amicable victories, versus violent ones. He sees this possiblity in Dana, and has worked to nuture that compassion (along side the tactical ability and determination) under the radar (even Dana's radar).

When she is captured and put into a Zakiri prison camp, it is her protection of her troops from abuses from some of the more corrupt prison guards that gets Defence Director Mulhare to her, that her loyalty to her troops may be more powerful than her loyalty to her country. While she proves more loyal to the RINC than Mulhare had hoped, he impresses her into working for the Zakiri through a little psychology, and a hell of a coersion.

Once in Gefanna, on the inside, she's overtaken by the beauty of the place Coming from a city on a plain, the idea of a city in a ravine, the rivers and mountains immediately make an impression.

On the outside, however, Dana puts forward the best front a RINC officer can in the face of the enemy. She's the model soldier, knowing she is the one RINC citizen/soldier these people may ever see, and wnating to make a good impression under the gun. It's all a front, though. She's not happy to be there, she's not happy with incredibly different culture, has never seen modified humans before, everything and everyone seems so alien. And she's assigned to protect these people. Added to that is her incredibly homesickness. Everything around her reminds her of how different it is here. From the sliver of sky above her, to the overspiced food, to the Ethiopian slang. It's not home. Never has been, never will be.

In an attempt to stay linked with her identity back home, she sits and takes the time to style her hair into cornrows by hand, as a cultural identifyer. It's all of home she has, especially now that she's been tattoed with a Zakiri marker on her face.

The tough soldier facade finally breaks during a meeting with one of the mechanics supervising the air defenses for Gefanna. The supervisor, Kira, doesn't buy Dana's tough Honorable Soldier attitude, and makes it known that she thinks its cute. Not helping things is Kestrel Twelve, a sentent warbird that takes to Dana, helping undercut Dana's authoritative attitude for Kira. The two eventually begin a relationship involving Kira maturing, and Dana softening up. Twelve, however, creeps Dana the hell out. Twelve isn't haveing any of that, and has decided Dana is her new best friend.

After a botched escape attempt, she resigns herself to her fate of living and protecting the city. She has to live there now, too, and letting it get run over wouldn't do her, or anyone around her any good. She makes a good faith effort to fit in, but does so clumsily. This, along with the air of "military nobility" she's been putting forth, while seemingly demeaning, begin to endear her to the population in a "Oh, that poor kid" fashion.

-=Act II=-
After living there a full year, Dana's made a small niche for herself in the town. She hasn't assimilated, and is actively fighting it, but she is more comfortable in the town, and has allowed herself to loosen up. She would still leave for home in a heartbeat if she could - something that doesn't go unnoticed by the citizens, who, while tolerant (and some even friendly), don't trust her to stay five minutes more than she has to.

As part of her assimilation, she has finally become curious about twelve and is beginning to explore a friendship with her (as freindly as anyone can get with a sentient warbird). Along with this new friendship, her relationship with Kira has evolved, and the two are friendly. Kira is her point into accepting Gefanna. Kira is an example of what she loves best about the culture, one year in, and there's so much more to explore if she'll let herself.

Kelile, though, is who she goes to when she needs a reminder of how much she hates where she is, as he's everything she despises in Gefanna. The underhandedness and back alley dealings and snide self-important attitudes. When she's wanting to hate the town, Kelile is always "a good example of why I hate it here."

In Tilahun, she sees a pillar of strength. She never tells him so, but his strength and pride in his hometown and people often gives her the moral "oomph" to get through the rough patches. Often he's the one who sooths her troubled brow concerning Kira and Kelile. SO much so in fact, she asks him to stay. Obstensibly because she wants to have a Native Son helping to run the show, and keep credibility with the city.

And when Kira and Tilahun manage to successfully route a raid without her, she believes she can try to escape again, since now the city is in good hands. Mid escape attempt, she stops as the city is under siege. Thinking of Tilahun and Kira trying to get by without her, she returns, late, but in time to make a difference.

-=Act III=-
Two years in, and she's become a respected outsider. While not feeling herself to be one of the locals, and at the same time the locals feeling she's not local, she has become comfortable in her surroundings. The pangs of homesickness are still there, and occasionally she remembers home wistfully, but she has her niche, and while her social circle is simply the people she works with, it's a good social circle nonetheless. The towns people have accepted her affectionately as "Kahadi." But what she doesn't know is that this means Traitor - something Kira informs her of later in the act.

With the Zoner threat continuing, but a new threat arises: Kelile and his wanting to steer the town into a path of his choosing, and to undermine Tilahun and Dana's grip on the city. She focuses her attention inwards, trying to root out, at first, the causes and rumblings of the city moving underneath her, and eventually narrowing it down to Kelile. What she doesn't realize, and perhaps we don't for some time after, is that it's her willingness to protect which drives her, the want to protect her new home. Even if she doesn't see it as such.

Her discipline has broken down as well. The Zakiri military doens't follow the "No fraternizing with the enlisteds" rules, and Dana's facade of The Good Soldier has long since cracked. We find her now friendly with her troops, if still a tad distant. It's this walking the line that finally breaks down the troop division, from Zakiri and RINC to a Gefana company.

-=Act IV=-
Three years in, and though she'll deny it, she has settled in. She's keeping the Zoner's out with total effeciency, to the point that they're not much of a threat anymore, and she's been able to focus her attentions on the city, working to shore up the cities defences, while not realizing she's dropped her. She shops like any citizen of Gefana, eats food at restaurants like any citizen of Gefana, and even subconsciously uses slang when talking with citizens. She hasn't made many friends, her self-imposed defences haven't completely dropped where she's conscious of them.

Kira has quickly become on of her best friends, and it may be sliding into an outside of her comfort zone. She's never been in love with another woman, but Kira's insistent personality, snarky, but sunny, outlook, and her insight into the people and places around Dana appeals to her. It's clear Kira is falling in love with her through the act. Dana may be, too, but she has more personal hurdles to jump before she'll accept that herself. Escpecially once:

The Zoners finally drop the probing attacks because they've determined where they're going to hit: Santa Fe. The attack causes the Zakiri Central Conference to move Northwest, out of the area: They're too close to a new battle zone, and communnications are now rough between the Rinc/Zakiri line. The result is Gefanna and the southwest eventually become cut off. It's here that Dana (along with Tilahun and even Kelile) begin to shine.

At first Dana simply ups her defence of the city, knowing a Battle Zone is only a few hundred miles away. But it's seeing and hearing the citizens, the people she now honestly believes she should be protecting versus being forced to, that has her come to Tilahun to consider coming to Santa Fe's aid. At first, the answer is no - there's a matter of logistics and "empire building." But eventually, the answer is "Let's protect the other nearby cities, and when we're big enough, we'll take on the Santa Fe problem." She begins expanding her views on the Zakiri world around her, and how it reacts in a panic. this causes her protective nature to finally change the Zakiri from "Them" to "Us."

-=Act V=-
(Storylines and personality traits may change depending on the outcome of several non-Dolari characters)

[Episode 1 provides the major key to the rest of this act:]
Four years in, and Dana is, essentially, the new Defence Directorate for the area. She's been coordinating defensive attacks on the Zoners trying to keep the Zoners from expanding into the territory of Gefanna's allies, and occasionally setting up (Very small) annoyance raids as diversions during battles. While she is coordinating from Gefanna, she's running the troops and soldiers out of several abandonned areas around Santa Fe, so that the cities themselves are protected. The act begins, however, with a successful rout of the Zoners from Santa Fe, where they reveal their biggest weapon: A Mass Driver. The Massdriver obliterates the remains of Santa Fe. The town is no longer in Zoner control, but there is no town left to hold...it's abandonment will allow the Zoners in easily (they wanted the land, not the city or citizenry).

Intelligence reports that the Mass Driver takes several days to prepare but to cut the time in half, a second is being built. Dana sees, at this point, that to defend the cities from destruction, she must take it out. She prepares a small operative raid to destroy the drivers, and the raid works, destroying both drivers. But the troops - her best infilatrators - are pinned down by an air assault - keeping them busy till more ground reinforcements arrive from nearby. She begins looking for other small distrations to get the team out, but is having trouble finding totally military targets. She chooses Holloman AFB, where the air forces attacking her infiltrators are located, although Kira argues that there are too many civilians quartered nearby. It wouldn't be a "clean kill."

It's just then that Twelve is destroyed by the approaching ground forces.

Dana freezes for a second. Twelve is gone, her first real friend since getting there. It's finally hit her: this is her world now, her home, her family. And family has been hurt. But however much she realizes that she's become part of these people, there are parts of her that are not Zakiri - including the one that orders an immediate air raid on Holloman AFB: "I don't want to see a single blade of grass, two pieces of wood nailed together, or a single thing left standing." Kira objects - there are too many civilians dwellings nearby. Dana again orders it, Kira objects saying she won't take the chance of harming civilians. Dana: "There's a chance we might hurt civilians. There's a certainty that we will lose out best infiltrators, and not be able to do this again if we don't. If you won't attack the base, find me someone who will." Kira, struck with the shock of seeing Kira this incensed, and the realization that this battle isn't clear cut anymore, reluctantly orders the destruction of the base. The airforces take out the fuel and ammo dumps, obliterating the base, but as Kira pointed out, civilian houses were also destroyed in the blast. Kira's pale...she's taken a life that shoudln't have been taken. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. But this turns to white hot anger when she sees that Kira is looking on the destruction reports, hoping no one sees her, with a light (hopefully not seen) smirk.

Dana is with the Zakiri, but she's not one of them. She has different morals and behaviours than they do. Had she been in the RINC army, she would have never gotten close to Twelve, Twelve would have just been another weapon of war. But she got close. And the RINC attitude of "They may be civilian casualites, but they are the enemy" fed right into her want for revenge (another trait frowned on by the Zakiri). Dana may be fighting with the people she's with, but she, no matter how assimilated, is not them.

It isn't until later that Tilahun tells her that she's now done an offensive act against the Zoners, and with Albuquerque gone: They're Next. Kelile tells her that the fragile alliance they've created is on the edge of crumbling: No one else wants to be helping the city that's the next target. And Kira. Kira remains silent while Kelile and Tilahun are in the room. The moment they leave, she launches into her with such force and bile and righteous anger that Dana is just shellshocked. With all three gone, she realizes the incredible mistake she made by giving into quick revenge, instead of a precision attack on the base.
[End episode 1]

Throughout the act, it's Kira's hurt that makes Dana realize that while she's assimilated, she's not one of them, and may never be. But instead of reverting back to type, wanting to go home, being the Good RINC Soldier, and seeing the Zakiri as "THEM," she begins to realize that the two aren't completely at odds. She realizes that her troops must feel the same way. The RINCs assimilated into the Zakiri, the Zakiri assimilating the RINCs as well. They aren't Zakiri anymore. They're GEFANNA. It's an attitude Kelile and Tilahun have also come to through their plot threads.

When word comes that the RINC army is coming to Gefanna (although it's not known if it's to capture or rescue Dana), her first thoguht is not "Finally, I can get home" but "How can we use this to our advantage?" It's the "Gefanna" attitude, too, that allows her to reassure that anyone who wants to go home can, but also assures that she won't let the approaching RINC army take anyone prisoner. She'll find a way to keep Gefanna for anyone who wants to stay here, from the RINC, and from the Zoners.

It's this togetherness the three have adopted that allows them to pit the approaching RINC army against the Zoners, and then Gefanna coming in later to back up the RINC army. To the Zoners, it looks like the RINC have joined the fight. To the RINC, The Zakiri have saved their butts. Will this end the war? Probably not, but does make for a grateful captain who recognizes Gefanna's "independence." All because Dana, Tilahun and Kelile have embraced their differences and the differences of the people around them to make a new whole.

Voices of Authority (046) - Story outline 1107.251748 - Episode 18: "The Very Good Day of Dana Medina." (or "The Very Bad Night of Dana Medina")

Just before the felgercarb hits the fan, let's have a great day! Cause we're going to put our characters through hell after it.

By episode 18, the Zakiri communiques are getting less and less frequent, the attacks from the Zoners are less frequent, Dana's fitting in a little better, and She and Kira and Twelve have formed a little family niche in name, if not in actuality.

It should be incredibly sweet, JUST this side of saccharine. Maybe follow the three through a day where everything just seems to be going well. Nice romantic breakfast, maybe. They leave and a little girl walks by wearing Dana's braids (which are actually NOT in fashion with Gefana). A hike with Twelve providing overhead reconnasance. Discovery of a cave or tunnel or old broken down machinery from the old days. Something to provide a little "ooooh neat!" Maybe Dana even watches a sunset with Kira and Twelve (could even be the time Kira comes out and says she loves Dana).

Just a very nice day, where nothing horrifyingly bad happens.

Because as soon as they get back, the antidote machines are there, with tons of supplies and orders and dossiers. "We're on our own." And that means everything just got a whole lot nastier.

Voices of Authority (047) - Title Change 1108.021548 - Episode 18: "TVGD/NoDM"

Change the title of Chapter 18 to "The Very Long Night of Dana Medina." End the episode at sundown, leaving that very long night to our imaginations.

That is all, stand down from red alert.

Voices of Authority (048) - Dana Medina

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Voices of Authority (049) - Idea 1108.301235

Base Dana's Gefana group on Byzantine Kentarchia. 100 people, broken into 10 groups of 10. 60 Zakiri, 40 RINC?

Daughter of Eve

Jana and Sylvia search for their next Wishstone when they're ambushed by two highwaymen. Jana holds her own until she's hit nicked by a knife with a paralytic agent in it. The huntress part of her fights as long as she can, but eventually succumbs to paralysis.

Sylvia attempts to scare the highwaymen off, but one of them is a magic user himself, and recognizes that while she's usually powerful, she's exhausted from powering the bike and seeking the Wishstone. He begins to put a binding spell on her when one of the others comes across their bag of already collected Wishstones.

Just as they reach in, both are hit with arrows in the arm. They look up to see a woman hoplding a bow and arrow, also dressed in skins, but more elegantly than Jana. They highwaymen run off and the woman takes Jana back to her cave.

She begins nursing Jana back to health, slowly over the course of several days. The paralysis is slow to wear off, though, and she spends her time laying in bed, at first just listening to this woman, Hayah, singing melodies and making small-talk that nurses give to patients. We'd see this in glimpses as Jana sleeps off the paralytic and occasionally wakes up.

Eventually Jana gets to a point where she can speak, although very softly and weakly. The meat of the story is a heart-to-heart between her and Hayah. This new world scares her, and while the huntress helps her survive it, it's not home. The task she has ahead of her is monumental. And she's only eight.

Hayah comforts her telling her how her life was just as different once. She and Adamah were expelled from their home of Dun after she'd disgraced her family and sent into the wild. There she and her husband lived in a cave to atone for their sins. Having her children, without anyone to teach her how to deliver them or even raise them, was frightening. But it was her devotion to Adam, and his devotion to her, and then their children, that got them through the rough times. They loved each other dearly, and faced the hardships together...this was all their first time, too. The mutual dependence, the mutual love, and mutual devotion helped her survive. Jana would need to find something or someone to devote herself to, and move forward.

Jana is afraid of the huntress personality in her, and the her 8-year-old mind can't cope with the things the 18-year-old huntress does to survive. Hayah, replies that she is in much of the same boat:

We flashback to the diner where the story began, where a woman, Diana, a radical feminist is nursing a terrible thought over coffee. One of her friends was recently assaulted, she knows who did it, and is consideing making an example of him through a terroristic act. She begins to spiral emotionally, spinning into more and more unbalanced thinking, her final thought before the world changes if "I wish Eve had been given a second chance." Then the world changes.

Hayah awakens in the Wishworld, in the same form as Diana...but is no longer Diana. She is Hayah - Eve.

Hayah, too, has had to deal with her own alter-ego, one she knows is there, but cannot do anything but watch, learn and relive the memories of Eve's life after the fall. Diana has watched Eve live every day of her life, and relive every day of her life through memories. Memories of her and Adamah - Adam, their time in Dun - Eden, and the partnership they enjoyed.

Jana recovers over time, becoming fast friends to Hayah, who has nursed and somewhat mothered her over the days. As she's about to leave, Sylvia mentions that it's not Hayah who has the wishstone they've detected. Diana does. They're not sure exactly how to get it.

Eve was given a second chance at life, and she has used it to try and show Diana the side of life that she'd denied to see, and hopes it's made her understand the world a little better. And she drop's the bombshell (at least the bombshell for Diana) - to come back, all she has to do is believe that Eve has finished her second chance.

She looks at Jana, with a lovely warm smile. "Daughter of Eve, you have a long path ahead of you. Remember me when you are frightened, that the mother of all was just as frightened once." The face then goes blank for a second, her wishstone is expelled...and Hayah is gone, in her place is an astonished Diana.

"I...I...I didn't know. I didn't want to know."

Father's Day

Jana and Sylvia, while looking for another Wishstone, come across a ironworker's shop. They see that the iron worker has a formidable array of iron weapons. Obviously a very violent man.

They hide behind a tree, and discuss strategy. It's Jana's childishness that suggest the winning strategy: Run in screaming, and while he's cauhgt off guard, hit him with a big stick and hope they knock him unconscious before he attacks her.

She finds a great big widowmaker log, waits for him to come back into view, and immediately comes in screaming. The ironworker turns around shocked...and it's Jana's father.

She freezes up, but he recovers enought to grab a hot fire poker and and begins to move forward with it. She stumbles and falls, scrabbling backwards until she hits a wall. Her father continues to threaten her "You'll not be getting any of my wares today. And I'll give you a good mark to remind you!" He swipes at her with it, more threateningly than actually planning to brand her...but she squirms, trying to get away. He's about to prod her with the poker when she screams "No, Daddy! It's me! It's Jana!"

This time he's the one who freezes, and the iron poker drops clattering loudly.

"Jana? Is that you? Jana?"
She nods, more scared than anything. "It's me, Daddy. It's me."
He holds out his hand, she grabs it and is pulled back up to her feet. They look into each others eyes, about to cry, and give each other a hug that they'd each waited a lifetime for.

Father and daughter sit at a table, where he puts a plate of dinner in front of her, which she happily wolfs down. He just watches her, and smiles. "It'd been so long." They have a talk abotu how they've missed each other terribly. He'd found himself here, an ironworker, and spent some time trying to get back home, but when he realized that the whole world had changed, and the limited resources that were left, that he was stuck here forever. He never thought he'd see her or his wife ever again.

Jana tells him of her adventures, getting Wishstones, meeting people, good and bad, and how she found herself here as well. A good catchup for the readers as well as her father. She mentions that she thinks everyone who was at the diner at that time got their wishes making this world.

"How long have you been here? You've grown up to be a fine young woman."
"Not long. A few months."
"But you're so grown up!"
"Daddy, I'm eight."

And that's when it dawns on him.

"Jana...I'm so sorry. I didn't...." She looks at him quizzically not understanding. "You're still eight, but you've grown up."
"Yeah, it's kind of nice being all grown up! I have a motorcycle!"
"No...that's not it. I've robbed you of the best years of your life."
She looks at him again, unable to understand.
"What father doesn't wish his daughter to grow up into a fine young woman?"

That evening, he shows her to bed, letting her take his bed, while he sleeps in the other room. Before he leaves, she looks at him with a look of peace and tranquility. He looks at her as a father who has hurt his daughter badly. "It's okay, Daddy. I found you." He leaves on the verge of tears.

Sylvia, in her pack, remarks: "He's so hurt that he's rushed you into adulthood."
"But he can make me young again! He just has to give up his wish, and things will go back to the way they were."
"But will they really? You'll be young again, but the world will still be changed. All those people from the old world will still be gone. The wishes will still have people trapped in their spells. If he gives up his wish...you'll be too young and small to finish what we started."
"I don't care," she pouts, allowing herself to be truly a child again. "I'll be with dad again."
Sylvia pauses, not wanting to play the next card: "And...what of your mother?"

She wakes up the next day, to find him hammering out a shield with 42 divots on it. "I had a dream last night...I saw this so clearly, I had to make it. It's simple, but it's yours." He cools it a bit. "You'll need it out there. To keep you safe, and keep me from worrying."
"You knew I would be leaving?"
"I'm your father. I know everything about you."
"I'm sorry, daddy, I..."
"You can't take my wish without becoming a child again...my child. And you can't finish your job as an eight year old. If you finish, and everything returns to normal, you'll be my little girl again. And if not, you're one wishstone away from being my child in this world." He hands her the shield. "Take this. It'll keep your old Dad from worrying about you."

She leaves promising to return, whether she finishes or fails her quest. As she drives off, he mutters quietly: "And if you find your mother, send her my love."

The Great Jade Heist

(Part 1)
A female form clad in black catburglar outfit breaks into the house of fine art black market dealer, sneaking stealthily past traps and barricades. She finds herself in one of the artrooms, cutting through a glass case and takes a Jade figurine from it. The figurine is the exact one Jin was looking for in "A Message from Home."

The cat burglar begins to make an exit, when every alarm in the building goes off. She seems surprised, as if she has no idea why the alarm went off. She flees, hearing the sounds of dogs barking.

On her way out, she slams into Jana and Sylvia arguing over how she tripped the alarm. The catburglar removes her face covering to reveal she's NOT Jana, as we would have been hinting at. They both realize the catburglar has the jade statue they were just about to steal themselves. She takes off. Jana and Sylvia follow her in hot pursuit. And the art dealer's cronies quickly follow suit.

Eventually Jana would have obtained the jade statue, and Sylvia would identify it as a Wishstone holder. Before attempting anything with it, they'd return to Jin to determine what he wanted to do with it.

(Part 2)
Jana returns to Jin with the Jade Figurine of his wife. He mentions that she felt she could have always been more beautiful, and that was probably her wish.

Unfortunately, the jade statuette is not actually alive, and the Wishstone appears to be a part of the figurine. They may be able to free it by chipping the jade around it, but Jin refuses - it's all that's left of his wife.

The two parts are very short, but I'd planned to flesh it out a lot more as we got closer to publishing it.

Till Never Do Us Part

The story begins with Kylie and Sarah (who appear to be identical twins) moving a box from a garage to the living wrong, and Kylie dropping it. Sarah: "Lift with your legs, not your back. You're not as strong as you used to be."

Kylie immediately gets beet red angry for a second, when her demeanor changes, and a tear begins to form. She balls up a fist, fights to holds it back and storms off. Sarah just shakes her head and heads into the house. "She'll be back." She fingers a wedding ring on her hand. "She has to."

Kylie sits on a cliff overlooking a open field. She shifts a bit. Kind of squirming like she's figuring something out, then stand up and notices she's spotted her pants with blood. She's beginning her period. "Goddamnit!" With a a final anguished yell, she jumps off the cliff to her death.

And wakes up in the same bed next to Sarah. Kylie looks down, and sees her sheets are red with blood, and screams in shock, waking Sarah up. Sarah pops awake, scared, but realizes the situation. "Kylie, get in the shower. After I wash the sheets, I'll show you how to use a pad when you get out."

"MY NAME IS KYLE."

"Yes, Kyle. Get in the shower."

As Sarah washes the sheets, she nonchalatly asks "How did you kill yourself this time?"

"Jumping off a cliff."

"The one just east of here?"

"Yeah."

"You need to stop trying to die. You just end up back here, you know.' Again, she fingers her wedding ring.

"I used to try to just get away. Run far away. But everytime I'd get to sleep, I just find myself right back here" (Kylie also fingers her wedding ring).

"We can't get away from each other now. And you're a girl. We need to move forward, Kyle. We need to move from this point forward."

"I wonder if I can drown myself in the shower." They both chuckle slightly, and wash up.

Kylie and Sarah were once husband and wife. But their relationship was on the rocks. For their anniversary, they'd shown up at the diner, but gotten into an argument where Sarah had stormed off. Just before she left the diner, Kyle had wished that they could just be a happy married couple forever. Sarah had wished Kyle could be a little more like her.

Story was never much developed further, and was written as a backlash to all the transgender stories being submitted to Wishworld (Kyle hated his new life, compared to the other pro-transgender stories).